Reviews for Kevin Cry
34A7B chapter 1 . 2/3/2013
Love the idea!
Neo H.B.B. Sam chapter 1 . 2/2/2013
Hm, not bad Proto, although this story shows how obvious it is that English is not your first language. Also, I didn't create Kevinbound, Yoshermon did. I am glad that you took my advice and made Kevin the main character instead of Double-D though. But oh man, the English... I'm sorry, but I seriously don't know where to begin on correcting it. Some parts just sound far too mechanical, and others misuse plurals and tenses. Also, please don't tell us how each thing works. Leave the reader some room to imagine the scenery/tools, unless everyone gets confused. So yeah, don't forget to avoid making this a copy-n-paste of Far Cry 3, so some originality would be nice. Hopefully you'll improve as a writer and this story will get better in the future.

-Your friend, Neo H.B.B. Sam