Reviews for Wingless
Guest chapter 5 . 9/30/2013
winter's awsome i love it!
MagicMissile chapter 15 . 9/28/2013
Another fine update, Jay. It was a lovely chapter, this one. I really enjoyed how you wrote the whole chapter. Don't know what it was, but when reading this one, it felt like a captivating detective story. Really nice Jay. It's like every one of your chapter always contains that spark of interest and creativity. As always, I'll be looking forward to your next chapters!
MagicMissile chapter 14 . 8/30/2013
Whoa, Jay! You are one creative writer! I really liked the card game and basically the whole scene with Tal and Arianna. Where do you come up with these ideas? The enchantment thing was mind-blowing. Fantastic chapter, although I did have trouble reading through the action scenes. Must be me, but I get confused as the fighting scenes tended to get hectic when the person doing the action kept getting switched around from subject and object. Other than that, looking forward to your next chapters!
Maglyt1 chapter 8 . 6/12/2013
Oh who is this mysterious Blake guy with one hand? I have a bad feeling he's going to come back, and it won't be a great reunion. I wonder is Arianna is foreshadowing for us... Hmmmm.
Maglyt1 chapter 7 . 6/11/2013
Aww poor Winter, I wish he could go down. Poor thing :(. Agh well that small speech was so cute and beautiful :.) I teared up a bit. Thank goodness for Rihn and Lani!
Maglyt1 chapter 6 . 6/11/2013
I noticed one error in the beginning.

They four had stopped for a late bite to eat at a small open café near the Senate.

Did you mean 'the'?
That's it, sorry but I just sometimes need to point these things out, still we all make mistakes and seriously isn't anything big.

Well anyways YAY RIHN AND WINTER ARE AWESOME!
Maglyt1 chapter 5 . 6/11/2013
Ooooooh who is this pink haired mystery talking to? And of course they get lost XD! Nice work on the humor department...to the next chapter!
Maglyt1 chapter 4 . 6/11/2013
And that's how they got the name! HURRAY! I'm glad to hear the reason, which is awesome, of why the guild is called Wingless. We all know these guys are going to shake up everything.
MagicMissile chapter 13 . 6/1/2013
Great chapter, Jay! And here I thought 3 new party members was way too much, but you proved me wrong! The rotating roster combined with the mirrors and even Arianna's trip to the mysterious fortune teller make up for some sick creativity. I really like what you put forward here. The adventure was also getting good and I actually wished you wrote more, haha. On the side note, do Ragelopes petrify you in-game or isn't it confusion? Also, Blake appearing in this chapter came by a bit of surprise. He's a generous guy but he makes Rihn cry. Poor Rihn lol. A fun chapter to read and I can't wait to find out what happens next. Please upate when you can again!
MagicMissile chapter 12 . 5/4/2013
The Wingless guild are full of silly people. Arianna is definitely one of my favorites. She really constrasts with the group's temperament. Also, as entertaining as this chapter is, I can't wait to see more of their labyrinth adventures. Nice chapter and please update when you can!
MagicMissile chapter 11 . 4/1/2013
Ahh, soon 3 chapters in one week? You're on a roll! You know what, I actually liked this chapter. Instead of the usual, great character Winter usually is, this chapter shows that he actually does have flaws sometimes. Somehow, I'm starting to picture your characters more vividly too. Now, the real shocker; instead of 1 recruited, Wingless recruited 3? Mind. Blown.
MagicMissile chapter 10 . 3/31/2013
Hey, Jay. I'm back for your swift update! With the first floor complete, I can't hope to imagine what'll happen as they journey further into the dangerous labyrinth (Winter foreshadowing ominous trouble?). Man, now, Blake is a mean guy (so unnecessary of him to say that Wingless don't have teamwork!)! His agenda is even so more baffling too. Is he just wandering the lower floors to finally snag another guild to help him avenge his dead comrades? Or is he warning others of the dangers of the labyrinth itself? Hm... I wonder if he's going to die. Also, I'm dying to find out who their fifth party member is. The suspense is getting to me! Well, until next time; please update when you can!
MagicMissile chapter 9 . 3/28/2013
Winter is such a great guy. I could go on and on about him, but I like where this is going (enemy guild interactions!)! Ren and Tlachtga, too, huh? Now, those gals are awesome. Great chapter and please update when you can. Oh, and I'll definitely be voting in your poll. In fact, I did notice that your cast lacked a medic. Lol so is Blake going to turn out to be dead like the fate of Flausgal from EO2 or Hypatia/Agata from EO3? Ohh, what a tragedy! I can't wait for the next chapter. Again, I look forward to the next chapters, and please update when you can!
MagicMissile chapter 8 . 3/20/2013
Hey, back to read chapter 8 with a super long review (yay or nay?)! Unfortunately, as much as I love your fic, this chapter was somewhat more difficult to read than the other previous chapters. The beginning of chapter 8 contained so much quick alternating dialogue in the same lines that I got confused on who was saying what sometimes (somehow this problem never occured in the other chapters).

On a lighter note, Blake is a pretty cool character and happens to be named after one of my landsknechts in EO1! Honestly, I was about to flip out if you had any more mysteries about any more characters! Poor guy only has one functioning hand. NEEEWW party member anyone?

Also, best quote, "Your Huntress is weaponless, your Survivalist is barely surviving and your protector isn't going to do much protecting without a shield. Leaving is your best option at the moment." Way to stick it to them, Blake!

Oh, another thing I really liked was how you inputted that trap-door concept where Arianna stopped Rihn from the barrier. Last but not least, Rihn: her personality is really great and the mood-shifting idea is definitely something that would give her more backbone to her personality-wise, but the execution was a bit hasty. It was hard sympathize with her as the scenes went by a bit too quickly.

Anyway, tl;dr. Great update, I can't wait to see how their adventures pan out, and please update again when you feel like it!
MagicMissile chapter 7 . 2/27/2013
Ohh, I just bought Etrian Odyssey 4 today. The demo was rather fun as I was able to defeat the kangaroo FOE at level 10! Anyway, the creativity in this story is really refreshing, yet more questions and mysteries arise from them (ie: Rihn's background, etc). I hope to read more. Fun chapter and please update when you can.
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