|Reviews for your hand in mine|
| bkwrmnlvnit chapter 1 . 11/9/2014
Howdy heydy, there! I'm here from over at the RLt and figured I'd finally get my lazy bum around to reading this and HOLY CRAP am I glad I did, because this is spectacular and really hit my feels. Thank you so much for writing this because yeah. Wow. Just as a warning before I begin, I'm pretty much fandom blind here, so I hope that isn't too big an issue.
First off, I took your suggestion of listening to the song while reading and wow, YES. I can definitely see the inspiration here, and the music really matched up with the tone of the piece in a way that I don't usually find happening with 'songfics', if you know what I'm talking about, so kudos on that. It really, really added to the story for me to be listening to this soundtrack while reading, so thanks for the recommendation.
Right out of the gate, I'm loving this. I don't know if it's the music or the story or both, but whatever it is, this line draws me right in with a sort of bittersweet, almost loving tone that to me already feels like a second chance, if that makes any sense. That feeling made this really powerful from the get-go for me, and going onwards from there, this combination of imagery and these rhetorical questions was super impactful, and just...yes. I love this right from the start.
Man, this image of the way their world sort of fell apart and was so tenuous due to the depth of their emotions is just a kick in the feels. For reasons I can't state here, I connected very, very strongly with the characters at this moment, and once again, that bittersweet feeling of both a beginning and an end really hit me and made this massively impactful.
And speaking of impactful, the description of their first meeting really got to me too. This feeling of wanting to understand someone who is a riddle and wanting to be understood as well is both sweet and very realistic for me, so this imagery came through as particularly powerful. I love the way you paint the development of their relationship, and the way that image just leaks devotion and and love and this really sweet curiosity that to me is the embodiment of real love because it's not looking for romance or a promise or anything like that, it's just looking to understand. I love the way that your words paint this emotion without ever actually describing it - makes this piece really strong for me.
The beauty in their relationship is absolutely mindblowing, by the way. I love the sheer power of how they just understand each other and want to fix each other and support each other. The idea of being so close because they alone see each other as something other than broken and are willing to just keep working until they can both be maybe not fixed, but at least better is absolutely touching. It feels so intimate and so intense and it really, really got to me because this relationship is just so beautiful and simple and complex at the exact same time. Amazing work.
...And there goes my heart. Holy fricking hell. This description of watching someone fall apart and wanting so badly to help but being powerless to stop it is...Yes, you got this exactly right. As someone who has felt this way, you got this perfectly right. And the fact that the narrator's love interest would go so far as to try to end their life is as heartbreaking to me as it is to the narrator themselves, because it feels so infinitely tragic. Like the old saying goes, "There's nothing worse than watching someone drown and knowing they could save themselves just by standing up," even if standing up is a lot harder than some would believe. This bit just really got to me. Wow. Bravo.
And once again, the sheer emotion of wanting so desperately to turn back time, to just hold someone close and /fix them/ is so powerful and so immensely moving to me because I know this feeling and you've got it down pat right here. This section of him waiting for her to come back is so painfully powerful that it literally aches because I feel this so deeply. I love the way that this is so bittersweet and broken yet hopeful, right up to the moment that they start having these conversations that aren't quite as real as they used to be until she returns completely.
This moment of return is perfect. Again, it feels like a second chance, and this feeling of fear and just taking it slow right from the start again is so emotionally charged that it almost hurts. I love the way this feels so tenuous but hopeful, and how it's almost like a promise of the fact that, while things may never be perfect, and the world may never be fixed completely or even come close, they have each other and they are trying, and they will always be there to support each other and keep trying and always, always try to fix this. Even if everything is not perfect, it is enough, and they are alive. This is such a hopeful ending, and it really touches me emotionally like the rest of the piece.
For me, this story was less about the actual story and more about the emotions, and I felt everything very intimately and very intensely. I loved every second of this. Your word choice was beautiful, the story was well crafted. Everything made sense, everything flowed, everything was just absolutely gorgeous. The emotions in here were absolutely immense. Thank you so, so much for everything about this piece. This is a well earned favorite, and really emotionally touching for me, and thank you for writing it. Bravo a million times over. Bravo.
| LordAstrea chapter 1 . 11/8/2014
Wow, this was friggin powerful. This is usually not my type of read, but I wanted to give it a shot. And boy am I sure glad I did.
Your repetition of "I..." and "You..." was particularly well done. I went over them a couple of times and then went over your author notes. You say you wrote this pretty darn fast with really no breaks it would seem. And yet, the order of these repeated lines seems to be meticulously thought out, since they just don't seem random to me. This repetition and the order of the thought process just seemed to fit. I can't really explain it. But I just want to absolutely commend you for that.
"Why would you leave me like that?" This line all the way up to the end actually caught my breath in my throat. I know, that was a weird way to put it I guess, but that's what it felt like! This is a powerful line that tests what the speaker thinks is the reason for "failure." Was it the narrator's fault? Was it a matter of trust? With thoughts running so wild its like there are infinite possibilities to consider and considering them all just isn't possible. I can see that as part of the reason why this thought process is so...convoluted?...yet intricate?
"I'm so glad you're alive." Wait, what?! Haha! I didn't really know what to make of this. I was happy, confused, and intrigued at the same time. It was so sudden, and yet, it was also a reasonable suddenness.
What a great and unexpected ending. Did you purposefully leave this ending open to a bit of interpretation perhaps?
In any case, I really saw nothing wrong with this piece at all. I was engaged the entire way through. In fact, it is one of my favorite pieces of all time on this site.
This is really something special here. I feel yah. Truth be told I deal with some serious depression issues so I have somewhat of an understanding, but I won't say I completely understand. Nothing is the same for everybody. Hang in there comrade and keep those creative juices flowing. If writing swiftly brings out work like this, then keep on writing swiftly. It's certainly working that's for sure!
Great work! I thoroughly enjoyed it.
| Marie E. Brooke chapter 1 . 10/26/2014
Warning: I am writing this review fandom blind
Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece with the fanfiction community! The way you string otherwise ordinary words together to create those beautiful phrases amazes me to no end. Even though I had no idea what you were talking about, it was still beautiful and made me tear up a bit.
Don't be afraid of bipolar-ness! Wait...is that even a word? I guess, since I put a dash. Anyways, that's not the point. The point is that it's really brave of to tell us this, and it makes us (well, me) feel special, you confiding us in a top-secret thing. Also, don't be afraid of your bipolar-ness. Embrace it! It's part of who you are, and you KNOW that you can control it.
I sound so cheesy, but it's my opinion. Keep on writing fantabulous pieces like this!
By my quill of wandlore,
Marie E. Brooke
| December Sapphire chapter 1 . 10/21/2014
Hey there! I'm canon blind so please excuse any mistakes in the fandom I may make.
This piece was beautiful, I think I felt a tear run down my face. I absolutely loved, LOVED, the second person POV. It's so rare to see in any book now and days, and seeing it on fanfiction...blows my mind to the very top.
The story itself seems very poetic, but when I read second POV I always see it as a poem. It is a songfic so I guess that makes sense.
My favourite was "Like the rain from the skies they fell over us…" and continuing on the paragraph. Very good metaphor when you spoke of the bridge connecting their love.
I didn't see any grammar errors or errors at all. Except, I would capitalize your title. It would probably draw the reader in more. Anyways, you did very well in writing this. Keep doing second POV stories, they give people inspiration to write in that form. Actually, I'm inspired to write something in second POV.
Nicely done, I enjoyed this story!
| GeorgyannWayson chapter 1 . 10/20/2014
Hi MoD! For reference, I'm not exactly canon blind to Smash Bros, but I have only played a couple of games in the series, so there may be some fuzzy moments in my review, just ignore those :) Let's get started, shall we? (oh, also, I do have the music you suggested currently playing so yay!)
I've honestly never read this pairing before, so I'm really curious to see how this will play out.
[They say] oh Lord right from the get go, you've got me. Love tidbits like this.
[...force of stones...] this line here feels kind of comma heavy for my taste and I think a period/semicolon break would work better here than a comma but YMMV. That aside, I really do love the style of this entire piece so far. I can't really pick a favorite part because it's all so GOOD OMGZ.
[We were two people] I'm not one of these people, but it must be a ride to be like that - only able to feel emotions at its strongest point.
Wow, the music combined with this line here [I still feel the chills] is a major feelz moment for me. I wasn't sure who was talking in the beginning of this, but now I know it's Luigi and I can TOTALLY SEE HIM THINKING LIKE THIS WUT. And the rollercoaster of emotions that comes afterward - the questions, the observations, the conclusions, it's just too much broken beauty I can't even...
Mostly what I am impressed with in this story is the fleshing out of this character that usually takes second place behind his brother. I am a MAJOR minor character freak, and I love and admire writers that take the time to give unseen/ignored characters loving like you've done here. The voice you've given Luigi is so brilliantly done that I'm just sitting her trying to figure out how I could possibly express just what I'm feeling in words.
And I can't. I went through this entire piece without even stopping to jot down a note because I was so anxious to see how it all ended and my oh my, I have a tear in my eye. I swear, this is literally one of the best works I have read on this site and reading your closing note just made it all the more bittersweet. I don't know where you are today, but I certainly hope you got the love and help that you needed and I wish you all the best as you continue through this journey of life.
This is a well-earned favorite from me. Thank you for writing this, MoD and I hope to see you around someday :)
| starlight.moon.princess chapter 1 . 2/8/2014
Disclaimer; I'm completely fandom blind here
(rolling commentary, for the most part)
I really like the way you ask the question [which one can I use to begin ours with?] instead of just providing an answer. I think it shows how that one journey that they've taken is the same as million journeys - that there are a million people who have similar experiences, and in a way, they're not only living for themselves, both for those people too.
I also really liked the contrast between the first and last time the speaker saw him/her, and the way the two of them changed so much in the course of - maybe even because of - their relationship.
I really like the simplicity of the line [I wish you were here.] The language isn't flowery or poetic, and because of that it has such a huge impact - they're five simple words, but they're extremely meaningful.
This is something that's repeated - [I was alone]; [I was lost]; [I wanted more] - and I think the simplicity of such statements is exactly what makes them effective and impactful - there's nothing apart from the facts in it, nothing to distract the attention of the reader.
I love the way you've written their romance. It's there for everyone to see, but it's not in you face and obvious, and I think that's reflected in the way you write too. There are some phrases that stand out [pieced together the lexicon that decoded a masterpiece] is one of my favourite - I love the implication of complexity and the how complex a person and his/her emotions really are in that.
Again, the heartbreak is shows very well, the bewilderment and the sense of loss of the speaker realising that they have been abandoned by the one they love, while at the same time trying to puzzle out any reason that the other person could have had. The self-blame was also handled rather well - there isn't any burning anger here, but a slow realisation that it takes two to build - and destroy - a relationship.
[I love you so much that it frightens me] I think this is an extremely significant line, because it shows just how much he/she understands him/herself and the danger that they hold, and the danger they have a possibility they have if the get fixated on a certain thing.
Overall, this was an extremely lovely piece, and I think you've shown the relationship very well. I didn't notice any SPaG issue - well done! This was a lovely read :)
| zanganito chapter 1 . 7/21/2013
I’ve played Super Smash Brothers a few times, and I sort of know the storyline for Legend of Zelda, but other than that I don’t know the fandom.
I really liked your writing style and use of language in this, it has a very poetic feel to it and flows well.
It almost reads like a love poem of sorts between the two characters.
I especially liked the lines:
/Why did I love you so much?
Because I knew that you were my mirror. I saw brilliance in you, and in turn you showed me my own. When I remembered that even you were flawed, I remembered I was as well. I fell apart too swiftly to be prepared for your fall./
I like how you show their similarity and depth of emotion with the mirror symbolism. I also like that you continue with the mirror theme in the lines:
/I smile, gazing into your eyes. How the light survived, I'll never know, but it's as beautiful as ever. You smile back. We're both terrified yet excited. Once again, we're mirroring each other./
I didn’t notice any areas where this could be improved - it’s very good as it is. Nice job!
| StrawberryDuckFeathers chapter 1 . 7/17/2013
. Fandom blind.
Happy Birthday for Yesterday, MoD! :D :D
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I personally think that the way you've linked it to real life has made it even more powerful, giving it kind of a context that reminds you people go through these feelings very often in real life, and it makes the story more powerful and tragic. On that note, It's good you've got people to talk to to help you along, and I hope you are coping well. :) The somewhat-poetic style gives this story a great feel to it, and I think it makes it more powerful and emotional, also.
I love the strong romantic element of the introduction, especially the description of their eyes 'sparkling' like the 'stars they loved'. I think the positive setup was brilliant for an introduction, but I also like the question at the end of the introductory section, making you read on and have a look to see whether the feelings stay this way or not. I loveloveloved the metaphor of a book being like life, because it's very true. It's full of empty pages, written-on pages, and sometimes you want to tear those pages apart or burn them. Beautiful description. :) I like how: [we saw beauty only in the person next to us. I valued you.] really gives the other character a sense that they're special, unlike any other, and the character loves them for this.
[When you fell, I could feel it. I wish I was there.] I think this is a strong line as well. I think that this really shows how the characters' bonds have grown so much over the story, and it's great that there's some character development there as well. I love the regret in the tone of the sentence here. [Because I knew that you were my mirror.] I also liked this line a lot- as if the character sees a lot in her, and he feels that he can relate to her- and maybe that helps him to overcome his problems. [I love you still. I love you to the point that it aches. I love you beyond reason. I love you so much that it frightens me; because that's the only way I know how to love.] The repetition of 'love' here does well to represent the extreme desire that the character has for her to return, and it makes you feel quite sorry for him.
I think that the way you describe how it feels after 'the fall' is very true. I love you show it as being washed-out, dull and fake, not the same as it used to be, and then you really wish that you were as still as close as you were once before. :( However, I love the sense of hope in the line soon after, when he is glad she is 'still alive'.
[The night is lit up by a million stars, and the air chills me to the bone. The grass is faded brown, and it glows in the light above us. ] I saw the light on faded grass a symbol that there is hope amongst the dull and the dark, and I think it was smart of you to give it that sort of feel. I love how the lighting up with a million stars seems to reflect the sudden burst of happiness in the character, as their love has returned to them. It's sweet. :)
I like how the dialogue is incredibly limited, only leading to the one word at the end- 'Hello.' I found that incredibly effective, as if the rest of the story is merely bottled-up the feelings the character just couldn't get out. :(
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Here is my crititique and/or some suggestions for you. :)
. You could consider capitalising the title to make it further stand out- Your Hand in mine. :)
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A story packed with emotion and beautiful description. Keep up the good work! :D
| IrishPanther chapter 1 . 7/10/2013
In all honestly, this was probably one of the better one-shots I have ever read on this site. It has a rollercoaster of emotions, as I'm taken through Luigi's thoughts on Sheik, their rise and downfall, and eventually, their reuniting.
In the beginning, you have Luigi expressing his love to Sheik, every single line, in between explanations of vivid descriptions.
"I was lost, alone, and when I found you, I fell for you; I wanted more, and you gave me more."
This is what I got from that...sometimes in life, we all need someone to pick us up whenever we're feeling cruddy or not in the best of moods. I'm glad to see Sheik be that for Luigi, and even a bit more than that.
So why did they fall? What broke them apart? Did death get in the way of them having a happy ending? No matter how many questions I ask, the answer is simple: Luigi knows that Sheik is still around him; he knows this, and that is all that matters to him.
No mistakes were spotted while I was reading this, so nice work with that! This piece here deserves to be shared and loved by all; it is that amazing! Kudos to you for writing this out, especially under the circumstances you had. Again, this is a true masterpiece, and I'm proud to have found it and read it! :)
| RikuIsKing chapter 1 . 4/17/2013
Aww my brother is bipolor as well but he doesn't even live with me anymore. My mom sent him away to a "Happy place" as she called it because she couldn't handle it. Although he's tried to kill me sometimes. I know he didn't mean it and I love him. I'm amazed how strong you are and your just so open about live and everything it's...refreshing to know that! :)
-I'm reading this while listening to "Your Hand in Mine" did set the mood perfectly. I LIKE LOVE THIS BAND AND I follow it band and not just that no because you must bring out all my epic feels man the song fits in here without feeling like a bloody songfic. Which is beautiful! :DD
-Your story was beautiful. I am a totally Zelink shipper, But even before that it's Shrink (Link/Sheik) but in this story, I was happy for Luigi and Zelda. It almost made me hate the other couples I adore. Almost.
-I loved how it was from Luigi's POV. I thought that was amazing. This entire thing was so well written. And I am not one for crossover pairings either. Even if I like Super Smash bros...I never cross pair. Weird right? xD
-The one thing I was thinking the whole time I read your story, was that this was Zelda thinking about Sheik. That it was Zelda reflecting on what the other side of her. Or was it the other way around? Wait I believe I am confusing myself lol
Beautiful piece of writing though! Truly breath-taking and full of emotions! :)
| Kattheamazing chapter 1 . 2/27/2013
Ahh, hello again, my friend! Just thought I'd stop by and check out some fics.
First off, wow. Personally, I'm relieved that you haven't formatted this in long paragraphs- I'd have gotten lost otherwise! Such a winding, vivid stream of consciousness requires focus to follow, but the vivacity with which it explores the ideas, feelings, pictures that toil in the hazy depths our consciousness is enough to leave one at awe, if they can just stand still in the middle of it all and focus.
You've always been great with words, MoD, and in this piece, I can actually feel the adrenaline rush driving them. I understand that Bipolar disorder has two phases- the depressive and manic phase. I assume you were in the latter when this was written- it's incredibly intense, somewhat haphazard, and because of this, becomes almost the object of its own focus.
Not perfection, but beauty. A world that celebrates both the painting and the mis-strokes. It advocates a world in which happy endings can come about even as a result of mistakes. An ideal world.
Your two lovers were flawed but linked by their idealism. Not many love stories have the balls to be as complicated and meaningful as this one. At present, the only thing that comes to mind is Romeo and Juliet.
Also, just for the record, I REALLY liked this line for some reason. It was just really sexy so I'mma stick it here: "I pieced together the lexicon that decoded a masterpiece."
LOVLEH! It make sex with eyes! (I just couldn't put that in a refined way, could I?).
I liked how it drew together the previous lines, which were all rather complex, by essentially summarising the process of Luigi's discovery of Sheik's true self. Pretty much all of your metaphors were stunning in this story but this one, in my opinion, could have been standalone and equally, if not more, amazing.
As for the style and language: beautiful and gorgeous. If I were to truly express my wonderment, I would run out of words. The ebb and flow of the narrative and the complex weave of ideas was easy to get lost in, but I feel like since this was a kind of 'heat of the moment' story, the style is fitting.
After reading your bottom author's note, I went back and realised there was another important theme in the story- fear. Luigi's afraid of himself. Afraid that in the heat of the moment, his passion will carry all of him to her, his darkest secrets and his capacity for kindness, and the intensity will overwhelm her: "I love you so much that it frightens me; because that's the only way I know how to love." When he loves, he gives everything he's got, because he's an idealist.
And in all of this, I see you. But you're overcoming that fear in your own way. You're coming out about being bipolar and (you may have already mentioned this but I never knew it) bisexual. I would like to express that my opinion of you has not changed as a result of either of these things. I have always, and will always, appreciate you for the epic, passionate, lovely guy that you are. You've nothing to fear from me, and nor I from you.
Also, sorry if I sound ignorant on the subject of bipolar! My knowledge comes from psychology class rather than real life cases, so I'm expecting to sound noob-ish, if you will, on the subject. That said, the nature of your story was beautifully illustrative of how it feels to be you.
One of my closest friends has diagnosed depression, and I have had experience of a mental health issue, so I hope, to an extent, that I can relate. The fear of stigma can really stop you talking to people about it. The fact that you came out and admitted it was incredibly brave. Good on ya.
Now, to face my own fears, I will go ahead and post this without looking back over it and fussing. Screw it if there are inconsistencies, things missing or typos! Your story has inspired me to stop giving a damn, and keep on the road to improvement.
| Madam'zelleGiry chapter 1 . 2/19/2013
Well, I know a bit about Luigi from other fanfiction, but I don't know anything about Sheik. Just so that you know!
"So, which one can I use to begin ours again?" I like this way of starting us off. We start out with an idea, and then a question that relates it to the actual meat of the story. It's a great attention hook and leads us into the story nicely.
You don't see very many pieces that communicate to the reader like this, but I really like the way that you were able to pull it off here. In the case of this particular fic, I think that this kind of POV works much better than simple second person; it's keeping everything quite intimate and that much more engaging. Great choice, style wise!
The running commentary (for lack of a better term) really works as well. I loved the way that the narrative slowly broke down as the narrator succumbs to his emotions. We see the really strong language at the beginning, but the fact that the sentences grew shorter and a bit more desparate really showed us something unique about the character. There are few ways of doing a character study that gets the reader this close and personal to the character in question. Awesome!
At this point, I'm having trouble coming up with coherant sentences because I'm just blown away. You've really found an amazing style here. I know that I do my best work when I just let the words take over, and I can see that you've done that here. Words know best! I may not suffer from bipolar, but I write with a severe anxiety disorder, so I understand what it is to write out your... agony. Writing can be so therapeutic, and the results so often surprise me.
"I valued you." I love the use of the word valued. It's not necessarily a commonly used word, so it stands out, although definitely in a good way. The implications behind the word just really stuck out to me.
"And away we go." Really lovely way to end us. The story is over, but it has its own feeling to it. Not a feeling of finality, but a feeling of hope. A way of showing us the light in the future.
The only crit that I have is really more of a nitpick. I'd suggest capitalizing the title properly, just to give the entire thing a bit of a polish. Yeah, I know. Nitpicking. :)
This really struck a chord with me, and I can see why this piece is so important to you. I can only hope that I will be brave enough to write something like this. It's there, but I'm afraid. My hat goes off to you for being brave enough to not only write, but to post this. That takes guts. This was very impressive. Normally I'd said that I enjoyed it, but I feel that "enjoy" isn't quite the word that I'm looking for. Not quite a tearjerker for me, but maybe that's because it's just hauntingly familiar, if you know what I mean. I'm very glad that I read this, even if it was for the thread. We as staffers are very lucky to have the chance to find gems like this by going through the rec thread. Well done!
| seeminglymeaningless chapter 1 . 2/11/2013
Hi, I'm reviewing your work from the Review Tag thread. Before I start, please note that I only somewhat know of Luigi and Sheik/Zelda. I live with a bunch of people who have played all the games from both universes (and the Smash Bros universe, which allows the worlds to collide), but I don't know TOO much about either character.
Your story was unique to me. This was the case on many levels, but the main reason was the addition of the music to play whilst reading. Your words really did fit the music and I felt like the words were lyrics. In my mind, the lead singer sung your words, and they fit perfectly.
I really liked your way of writing, continuously questioning, asserting, reflecting. There were a lot of sentences that were pure gold, words and turns of phrase that were brilliant and beautiful to read.
Only two sentences in the entire story stood out to me as "out of place":
/All the king's horses and all the king's men would never have to put you together again./
I felt like this was clichéd. Your writing prior to this was completely original, absolutely vanilla, pure and innocent. Then this came along and reading it was like dunking my face into a bucket of ice water. My immersion in your fascinating tale was lost.
/That I would restrain you from running even if you gouged my eye out?/
This was the other sentence that glared at me between the lines. Everything before and after this is sweet, sentimental. This is suddenly harsh and brutal. Gouging an eye out. It's graphic and unnecessary, it seems too violent, too out of place.
The background for this piece is inspirational and I thank you for sharing your story. Sometimes it is easy to forget about the tragedies that occur around the world if you're not a personal victim. RIP to those innocents murdered on those fateful days. I am glad that you are striving not to follow down that path; I am very hopeful that you are surrounded by loving family and friends.
The one thing I was thinking the whole time I read your story, was that this was Zelda thinking about Sheik. That it was Zelda reflecting on what the other side of her did. I don't know too much of Zelda/Sheik, but I do know that they're the same person but completely different. In my opinion, the story makes so much more sense, is so completely amazing, if it's about Zelda's thoughts of Sheik (or the other way around).
Thanks for the story, was a great read :) Keep on writing, you clearly have a talent. And don't hold back on your creativity; share it with the world.
| Green Phantom Queen chapter 1 . 2/4/2013
The way the story is set up reminds me of Murakami's famous work Norwegian Wood. As Midori would say to the main character, "I like the way you talk." To me, there's this words matching up scenes in an anime or picture book and it makes it seem more sentimental and beautiful. It's like I'm seeing a story based on a painting.
The idea of one's hand laced to another's is a sure sign of people being together, how two of them are connected as one being. The body language of holding hands means that one is united with another and this proves it. While I'm not that interested in a Luigi x Zelda pairing, I have to say that this was a very beautiful one-shot nonetheless. Great job.
| Super Serious Gal 3 chapter 1 . 2/4/2013
Wow. The other entries definitely have some competition. I love your writing style, present tense and separated well. I loved the descriptions and the questions/statements.
Good luck in the contest! You are the 7th entry!