|Reviews for Dark and Light|
| PolarDawn chapter 12 . 3/8
Sorry to hear this, Mozilla. I hope that things get better for you, and that you can find the time/motivation to resume writing sometime soon.
| M chapter 1 . 12/28/2013
Even if I need to send my OC threw PM I'll just do this because I'm lazy...
Name: Mathew Norquil
Height: 6' 1"
Weight: 165 lbs
Appearance: Mathew is Caucasian and slightly pale
Hair: Mathews hair is black, short and brushed to the side, and it always is like that, never changes
Eyes: A light blue
Clothes: He wears a amethyst purple sweater with a grey t-shirt underneath and always wears his black and red scarf. He wears painter pants and are dark blue. Finally his shoes are brown top siders.
Personality: Mathew is a very talkative guy, and could carry on a conversation for an hour or two. When you first met him he'll treat you like a sibling. At first he looks like an idiot but he is actually very smart, he will notice things that others wound never see, he uses this to an advantage in battles and he loves those too. He is very protective of his Pokemon and would risk his life for them.
Role: He could be a great friend and would be traveling on his own or with anyone he befriends
River is his best friend and is always outside her poke ball.
Jess is very protective of Mathew and is like River and stays out of her poke ball
If you could take my OC that would be great. If OC submissions were supposed to be sent threw PM, sorry. Also if you want you can change anything with this OC, it's your choice. Thanks.
| M chapter 6 . 12/28/2013
Do we I send the OC submission threw a PM?
| PolarDawn chapter 11 . 12/28/2013
Bravo, my friend! Waiting that last four months was worth it, I have to say. Great job with the battle scenes, and I quite liked the way my mod was implemented, even if the name sounds a little generic, in retrospect.
'I make my own fun... This job sucks...'
| Guest chapter 10 . 9/16/2013
Well, I reviewed, and said a bunch of stuff, but it doesn't seem to be showing up...
Just let it be known that I am excited to finally see another chapter!
| Guest chapter 10 . 9/16/2013
Oh my god! Finally! Excited to see the story picking back up. I was afraid it was discontinued. This Jayton guy seems pretty cool, and I liked the way he was introduced.
I did notice a few mistakes, but they were mostly spelling and continuity errors, which are easily fixed.
Gonna hop on over to your profile after this to check out the maps!
Keep it coming!
"Punch me in the face," I demanded to her.
| PolarDawn chapter 9 . 4/4/2013
Here we go! OCs are beginning to appear! Seleste, huh? Well.. She doesn't seem like a super harsh moderator, and that seems to be a good thing for Jake and his buddies. These Riots do seem like more trouble than their worth though, don't they? I hope mine turns out to be one of the more brutal ones. :D
Kudos for the Gym battle scene! Much better than before! I think you captured the intensity of it better. Keep that up.
Another team member, eh? Java the Eevee. I like the name, but I wonder how well it will fit on whatever it evolves into.
Now onto my few qualms about this chapter. The first thing was the tenses. It is supposed to be a journal, but the tenses are all over the place. Past and present are mixed together. Maybe take a look at that? Up to you. The second thing was the whole painting section. It seemed, I don't know, sappy. Of course, if this was real, I'm sure it would happen. It's just not my thing. I wouldn't worry about it. Other than that, great update!
| AndroidYumi99 chapter 9 . 4/2/2013
You know, I've sent out a lot of Oc's to different stories but this is the first one my character has been shown in. Oh, and my favorite part of this chapter has to been when Hatchet and that Seviper were battling those other pokemon.
| PolarDawn chapter 8 . 3/25/2013
Well... Team Riot is up to no good... Again. However, Jack got there just in time to stop them! And rescue a damsel in distress (Aimee(The Gym Leader)) at the same time! I did enjoy the battle scene this time, because you captured what it's like to battle the damn grunts in the games. Boring. Easy. So good work, I liked it.
This chapter was one of my favorites to read, because it was quite calm most of the way through, and had an EXCELLENT description of Route 60. It was really easy for me to imagine it, as if it were real, and that is DEFINITELY something you want to be able to do if you are a writer. It makes reading it so much more enjoyable.
By your AN at the end, I take it positions for moderators for Riot are full?
Will Jack battle the gym soon? Will he win, or lose terribly? Will he encounter more Riots? (I figure that since Rocket members are referred to as Rockets, Riot members can be called Riots.) Will they ever put up a decent fight? Don't leave me hanging, UPDATE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! Yes, yes, I do understand that real life takes priority, so don't worry, I can wait. THOUGH I DON'T LIKE TO! ;)
| AndroidYumi99 chapter 7 . 3/25/2013
Team riot sounds interesting, can't wait to find out their plans.
| AndroidYumi99 chapter 6 . 3/25/2013
This was a fun chapter to read, I liked it a lot maybe even my favorite so far
| PolarDawn chapter 7 . 3/21/2013
Oh no! Shiny Umbreon got stolen! By a psycho! Seriously though, great character. Reese seems to be quite crazy, but also smart. A good combo for a villain. The battle scene was, again, decent, but not astounding. I do understand that this is difficult, and will improve in the future, so don't worry about it.
So... Marley is angry at Jack... Will that affect him? Will he meet up with Kit again? Will he continue on his journey by himself? I hope to find out soon!
| PolarDawn chapter 6 . 3/20/2013
An exceptional addition to the story. I quite liked how you set up the battle to be a TV show, and how you set it up.
A dark gym leader?! Yes! I NEVER see people who put those in their stories. My favorite Pokémon is also Umbreon, and it is my second favorite shiny, so no hate from me there! I always enjoy it when people add a shiny to a story. I feel like it adds some character.
The only problem I had with this chapter was the battle scene itself. To me, it seemed slightly dull, like it needed more action. I do understand that those scenes can be difficult to write, and also that this is only the first gym, not the champion, so it does not need to be the most epic battle of the decade. However, I do feel like it needs some spicing up.
Excellent chapter. I hope to see the next one soon.
| AndroidYumi99 chapter 5 . 3/17/2013
Wow that Pidove was something else heh, heh. But her dialogue will be fun to read in future chapters. Anyway off to read chapter 6
| The Next Man chapter 6 . 3/16/2013
The shiny isn't a problem, but I suggest having Jack continue to think of Hatchet as Hatchet, even while he calls her Pidove. Also, the first time she appears, you refer to her as Pidove before she demands not to be called Hatchet. I suggest changing this to 'the pidove'.