|Reviews for Shreds and Ribbons|
| laloga chapter 10 . 12/9/2013
Wow, what a note to end on! Nice little cameo of Gregor.
Sigh. I knew this would be sad, but... I really thought they'd manage to blow the ship up! Is the Renown a canon ship? (Too lazy to check.)
Anyway, this was masterfully done, as usual. I'm so in awe of your ability to write machines, to breathe life into these inorganic beings, and give them distinct personalities that don't clash with their non-living status. The droid commander was perfectly done: sinister but...mechanical. Cold, I guess. And Bunny...was she the spy? I got the feeling that she was somehow connected to the Seps, but I'm not sure.
Ceelee! :( I loved him, so I knew from the start he was doomed, but man...his last section really was a punch in the gut. Really, seeing the clones' deaths from the POV of the droids was intense; well-done, my goodness, but harsh. It's a credit to your skill as a storyteller that it was so hard for me to read a lot of this! I've read so many "war is hell" stories from the clones' POVs that reading this one, from the droids', hit strangely, but especially hard.
One suggestion: I noticed a lot of the passive voice in this chapter. This is something I'm trying hard to get rid of in my own work, so I've been on the lookout for it in others'. Of course, FFN won't let me highlight anything to show you what I mean, but I noticed several places where the language could be tightened up a bit.
But honestly, that's small-potatoes when compared to the meat and bones of this story!
This piece was so well-done, I'm still reeling a bit. [applauds] Tremendous work, m'dear. I do have a request for the next installment... I know you've got a lot on your plate, but when and if you decide to add a chapter to this series, (no rush at all!) can it be happy and/or fluffy? ;)
Anyway, this was a fantastic piece! :D I look forward to see what comes next.
| Balin Lord of Moria chapter 1 . 11/13/2013
Good first chapter! You certainly caught the essence of Jango Fett and Darth Tyranus here. It's also interesting to see that even Jango himself, and not just his commandos and ARC troopers, disdained Kamino and it's native cloners.
| Eregnar chapter 10 . 9/30/2013
:( So sad...
I liked how you got into TC-81's mind: arrogant and nasty yet decidedly mechanical. I also liked the mention of Gregor at the end. A nice, poignant little touch.
| shadoefax chapter 3 . 9/25/2013
these oneshots are really deep and well written, i applaud
| LongLiveTheClones chapter 10 . 9/23/2013
Gah. Wow. This was so powerful. I was just stunned by this one. This image was just so powerful it took my breath away:
7,400 dead clone troopers were tossed into the endless darkness of space, where the bodies tumbled end over end, propelled by the momentum of their unceremonious ejection from the only home they'd had outside of Kamino.
This ficlet was so well done because you established these characters and made the reader care about them, and then... they all died. It was truly storytelling at its finest. I loved how they defended the ship against impossible odds and then in the end, they failed. The ship was taken over anyway. There were so many little dramas played out all over the ship again and again. It was just so heartbreaking.
Whoa. So powerful.
The image of the trooper getting his arm broken as he fought the commando droid and the dioxin spreading throughout the ship and poisoning the troopers and finally all that was left was just the little droid, Bunny.
a humble dishwasher, who gazed up at the cosmic display and was saddened, though he could not tell - or remember - why
Way to tie it back into the whole Void arc. If only the Void arc had been this well-written and so memorable, instead of two hours of boredom, (except for the bits with Gregor, which were lovely.) I've heard statistics that there were three million clones at the beginning of the Clone Wars and two million were killed in the first two years. Not sure if that is right or not, but judging at the rate they seem to go through clones in the series, it seems possible. Nice to see stories that actually humanize these losses.
| Rexness613 chapter 10 . 9/23/2013
That's the saddest thing I've read in a while... very good. Poor Bunny :(
| LongLiveTheClones chapter 9 . 6/28/2013
This was wonderful! I was thoroughly engaged and spellbound throughout! I always wondered what happened to Dogma and this does such a good job of typing up that loose end! You did such a good job with both the dialogue and the emotions. I felt like I was there throughout the story just watching this interaction between Windu and Dogma. Truly well done. I must commend you for a truly brilliant piece. Absolutely loved it. And, the ending was most appropriate with Dogma losing his distinctive scar and hair cut and making a new friend. Bravo!
| spikala chapter 9 . 6/26/2013
Wow, I really wasn’t expecting Windu to show up in this story, but the explanation you gave made perfect sense. I really like how you wove the butting of heads between the military and the Jedi into this story, even if it does give that sleemo Tarkin more ammunition later on. I think I was about as in the dark as Dogma about why Windu wanted him, way to keep the reader guessing.
Windu reminded me very much of a teacher during his questioning of Dogma, making Dogma come up with the answers himself and look critically at his actions. I liked seeing that side of Windu; it’s pretty rare to see it, so this felt like a bit of a treat. Plus Windu gets brownie points from me for disliking reconditioning :)
I’m so happy that Dogma gets another chance! He’s going to need a bit of time to get used to his new questioning side, but he’s a good guy underneath all the confusion and self-doubt. And he has a friend! Huzzah! I like the reasoning behind Burc’s name, it’s very cool. It was a wonderful conclusion to the story, and if ever you feel like writing more about Dogma and his new life with Burc, I’d love to read it.
| spikala chapter 8 . 6/25/2013
Oh my gosh, it’s a Dogma story! :D The poor guy got such a rough ride, both in the episode and subsequently on FFN, so it’s wonderful to see a sympathetic Dogma story showing what happened to him after Umbara.
You did an amazing job portraying his remorse, emptiness, and self-loathing after his arrest. He’s really raking himself over the coals, but I admire his willingness to face up to what he’s done and ask himself why.
I loved the explanation of his tattoo, it fitted in really well with his personality and his subsequent actions. The contrast between Dogma before and after was so clear and crisp.
I wanted to give the poor guy a hug as he was cuffed again without any explanation. He’s really lost himself; what bits of his self that Krell didn’t shred on Umbara, he’s offering up to his brothers as penance. I loved the line about his thoughts running in a circle “like panicked mice in a maze”, it was a perfect description for the fearful loop he found himself in.
When the Guard steadied him with a few words, it was just a lovely little flash of kindness between them and for me felt like an acknowledgment that despite what’s happened, Dogma is still family, still a man. I think that actually touched me more than Rex’s silent nod, because the other trooper was under no obligation to do so, and didn't know Dogma. That unsolicited bit of kindness... so wonderful!
Fantastic chapter, you can come out from behind your cover and give yourself a massive pat on the back for a creating a brilliant read. I really enjoyed it, and look forward to seeing what happens once Dogma gets on that shuttle.
| pronker chapter 5 . 6/15/2013
Bo-Katan's pride in her heritage comes through well here.
| laloga chapter 9 . 6/14/2013
Yay! A happy-ish ending for Dogma! :D I'm so glad...poor guy. He doesn't deserve to be killed or reconditioned or anything like that. He made mistakes - awful ones - but still. I was glad that he got to reflect on his actions a bit, and talk things over with Mace.
At first I thought that Mace Windu was *almost* being too nice to Dogma, then I remembered that Mace has struggled with his own darkness, too, and so can probably sympathize with Dogma's situation more so than most other Jedi. I loved how he was able to bring some clarity to Dogma, especially when they talked about the Dark Side. He seemed a little uncertain here, too, which I enjoyed. After all, a Jedi Master has just been proven to be a traitor; it was probably a huge shock to everyone, and has undoubtedly shaken Mace to his core.
Forgot to mention last chapter that I *loved* the explanation of Dogma's tattoo, how the V formation was such a part of his essence. You furthered that idea, here, and allowed Dogma a chance to give voice to these feelings. It felt cathartic for him to be able to *say* these things. I was curious about what would happen to his tat once he had to start over, but was glad to see that question answered. :)
Sounds like he's got a new buddy. :) "Burc:" such a great choice for a name. I do wonder what Dogma's new name will be; I actually would love to see more of his story, how he starts over. :) Isn't there a Mando'a term for "clean slate?" Something vhetin...about snow? (I read it in one of BunBunFett's stories...)
Anyway, this mini-arc was beautifully written. Every time I read your writing, I fall in love with it all over again. Wonderful, wonderful work! :D
| laloga chapter 8 . 6/14/2013
No shots being fired! :P
Man, this was intense. As always, the writing is fabulous and the characterization is note-perfect. Since Dogma's fate remains something of a mystery, (like Slick's, and I was glad to see the parallel drawn here), I'm excited to read your take on the fellow. So far, so good. He's a complex character and I feel like you have a great handle on him.
It sounds odd to say that I enjoyed reading about his suffering, his numbness and disbelief, but I did because it was so well-done. You totally put me in his shoes, and while I feel bad for the guy, reading something so good is a treat. :) I loved his conflicting feelings of knowing he's a traitor and not wanting to die, even though that's what happens to traitors. It felt right that he was sort of objectively looking at his situation, like "is this really happening?" That's exactly how it feels when you're caught in something awful, and you captured the emotions perfectly.
I loved, loved, loved this: *He had eliminated a threat to the Republic. It was something Rex had wanted to do, but found he could not. Rex had been too good a man to go that far. Dogma had just been lost, angry and broken.* I mean LOVED. I've read so many conflicting opinions on that moment: Rex was a coward, Rex was the traitor, Rex should have killed Krell. But I think it's like you've spelled it out, here. Ultimately, it wasn't within Rex to take a step like that, to - as you say - go that far. But Dogma, being a man of black and white principles, is definitely capable of that, not to mention the fact that he's just been openly betrayed and mocked by someone he trusted.
So, I love this piece already and am delighted that there's a part two! :D Rest assured, I will not be hurling any projectiles at you, dear impoeia. ;)
| Eregnar chapter 9 . 6/11/2013
Dogma gets a clean slate and a new friend. I love it. Warm fuzzies all around!
And thank you for the kind remark about my fic in your introductory note. I really appreciate it :)
And it should be "The word nearly made Dogma jump," not "jumped."
| Eregnar chapter 8 . 6/11/2013
I liked your explanation of Dogma's tattoo. I had wondered about that before, and I think you have a pretty good theory. And I could feel Dogma's pain at the first stab of the word "traitor." Poor guy. And I like the memory of Rex's acknowledgement giving him strength to keep going. Really good so far! Pushing next!
Oh, and it should be Dogma "could not bear to look at the clone's face" not "bare."
| TheWrongJedi chapter 7 . 5/30/2013
I love how you focus on different people with totally different personalities in the Star Wars universe, yet you still capture there emotions so perfectly! I love these! Please write more! Even if they are the most minor characters like those seen in the backgrounds of the movies reacting to our main characters! Continue!