|Reviews for I, Alone|
| huskerfan chapter 21 . 12/6
Great story so far, I really like the unique storyline you have going with Harry's magic. Im looking forward to seeing how that gets resolved and where the story moves from here. I know its been a year, but still hoping to see an update soon!
| Dugolliak chapter 21 . 11/21
Let me start off on a positive note: I really, really like this story. It, so far, drew together rather well, its lines were nicely curved and its points of interest well defined. It is far from the best story I've read here, but more than equally far from the worst. Upper middle class, I'd say. I also liked the way you fleshed out Tracy Davis quite a bit - I have read a few takes on her background and yours was rather unique. You followed the generally "accepted" behavior for her, without making it completely unrealistic. You also wrote your spin on Daphne Greengrass rather well, something I appreciate. She was not portrayed the way I see her, yet the way you made her appear was done well. I also prefer your Severus Snape to most of them out there - an ongoing conflict of interest, no cuddling and a strained professional relationship. I think he may be your "best" character: You kept him close to the canon character considering the changed circumstances and his knowledge. It pleased me. Showing Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore as a human being instead of an immensely benign or malign being was also well received by me. Especially his own statement along the lines of: "He might be a bit vain, but (...)" drove that point home. While your 'Dumbledore is certainly a benign being, he is not an all-powerful entity of "the Light" but simply a human being in the end. You also portray him as more of a headmaster for most, if not all, students of Hogwarts. He considers to have failed Harry J. Potter, but at least to me, it was hinted at him being remorseful not just for Harry Potter every time, but instead feeling a need to atone for any student in his school. One student may or may not be destined to Greatness, yet each and every one could have been caught up in Hogwarts' problems. Your very own Aurora Sinistra is one I simultaneously like and dislike. I like the personality you gave her - but I dislike the way you did just that. For a teacher to take that much influence on a student's life is alright concerning this specific case. But even "Hogwarts' youngest teacher" would have to be in her thirties or older, in my mind. Her thoughts and reactions to what an eleven year old boy does are - again, to me - out of place. Being concerned about an abused student and most of what is directly connected to that fits barely, but it does fit into its frame. But things like "thanking girls is done this way" being applied to her with her original reaction and the thoughts it inspired in her seems disproportionate. She is a teacher, first and foremost, and at least 21 years older than the first years, probably more. Your very own Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore seems to acknowledge that and give her a rap on the fingers for it ("Dumbledore had ordered the teachers to assume a hands-off stance towards the boy (...)", yet her behavior should not have gone so far that way in the first place. I know that it was benign and I know that your Harry J. Potter was not truly confused about it due to his background, with which I do not have a great amount of experience, so I cannot account for that part of the story's realism. She was portrayed to be a friend, no more, no less - and while I love what you made of her, in this context, she simply should not be. I will withhold my thoughts on Potter since you reasoned for his character very well. I did not note any glaring holes in your story: Neither ones you used to redefine him or explain quirks, nor ones missing for a blurry picture of the character. He is jumping between certain traits and pitfalls, while being a well-written character. You gave reasons for how he turned out, his view on the world and its accompanying flashbacks are nicely thought out.
While I could jump into every single character mentioned, I probably shouldn't. If you would wish me to, PM me and I just so might. I left Hermione out on purpose: I am not sure what to make of her. On one hand, she appears like a rather typical "harmony"-Hermione, on the other, she doesn't. I, personally, do not like this Hermione a lot, but I can appreciate what you did. Something does not fit, but until I figured out what it is, I will not complain about it. I will have to contend myself with the fact that she appears to be well written, if not really as fleshed out as others (but her trust-issues were certainly a nice tale), while something feels "off".
Onto another matter and the main reason for the first sentence of this review: You hit a major peeve of mine, which actually made me consider stopping to read the story altogether, because it usually is linked to glaring plotholes and instant-romance. I am glad I did not stop reading since everything else is rather nice. Upper middle-class, as I wrote above. This peeve is people, mostly girls, saying or thinking "we are way too young for that right now". In most cases, it is an amazing warning sign for bad quality fanfictions. Weirdly, I have only seen it in Harry Potter Fanfictions, nowhere else (though that may also be because I mainly read Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings). This horrible sentence or any variation thereof is, in my eyes, very unrealistic. No child I know of has ever uttered similar thoughts - I obviously do not know what goes on in their heads, but I would assume this is not it. Most children do not think of love for the future. Marriage is a thought instilled (probably) by parents. But thoughts of love, of boyfriends, girlfriends and all connected matters do not appear to exist. This sentence makes me wince every time I read it, because it is more than unrealistic. It has also become a surefire way to spot impending changes in interaction followed by abandonment of the sinking ship by the faster rats.
Aside from that, there is Marcus Flint and his resentment for Potter to consider. A lost game due to being caught. Yes, the lake seems to be fitting to me - and you could use it, too. But "accidents happen all the time" seems extreme. If Flint wants to win at Quidditch and he saw the potential of Potter, he would not try to get rid of him. He also would not let resentment cloud his mind that much. So unless that is going to be an intricate plot of manipulation and intrigue, I cannot see him trying to murder a talented player. Not even in the cutthroat environment of Slytherin - which is not portrayed as bad as it would have to be for that intention. Your Slytherin is a rather tame one. And the fact of the matter is that your Flint appears to really want to kill Harry Potter, without being given a real reason to: In the beginning, he took him on polite, courteous terms into the Quidditch team. And now when he tries to resign, he gets him back onto the team to kill him. That is either a very, very plump way to design obstacles for a reunion with his friends (or stepping stones, probably), or a sign of the degradation of the quality. Or, of course, the aforementioned intrigues and scheming. I hope that it is the last case, even more so since that would mean planned politics of House Slytherin and their family - you hinted at such with a marriage contract the Malfoys would like to instate. All in all: Upper middle-class, rather well done.
Have a good afternoon,
| Theblackbook chapter 4 . 11/7
You are good at making characters act their age
| Theblackbook chapter 3 . 11/7
You are very realistic, good job!
| Theblackbook chapter 1 . 11/7
You write really well. Loved that you held off Harry's experience of the train ride, made it more original
| Shu Ouma GC chapter 18 . 10/28
Great story I hope you start this story back up again.
| javegar453 chapter 10 . 10/11
Just how is it that everything that has gone wrong in Ron's life been Harry's fault, I think that maybe Ron should go see a mind healer/therapist (that probably won't happen seeing as you've got the next 11 chapters out already)
| cmfisher chapter 21 . 9/29
I know this is on hold for now but I just have to say that you are a wonderful writer. Do you write professionally? If so, please let M know, I would like to buy your books.
As to your story, do you think that Harry should see a mind healer. Maybe he is feeling bad for Quirrell and is unaware that the guilt is making his hands do that? Is that where you was going?. I can't wait until you work on this again. Thank you for an entertaining few hours.
| Man of Constant Sorrow chapter 20 . 9/3
Can I please have an update for Christmas? :D
| Guest chapter 8 . 8/14
I'm enjoying the story but I don't feel like it is necessary for you to give us the characters backstory, I was trying to skim those parts but here I am at chapter 8 getting another unnecessary introduction. I liked that you inculded a realistic train ride for harry, I always thought that with his background he wouldn't have been able or comfortable enough to approach the weasleys and then make friends with Ron right away. Your Hermione is the right amount of bossy, sweet and ambitious. I would like to see more of the twins, the Library scene was interesting, i don't think i have seen that before.
| SortingHat chapter 1 . 8/12
Me thinks you need to update the categories because it is NOT about Harry Potter.
This is a Draco Hermione fic.
| Reviewer chapter 5 . 7/12
I liked Harry before. Now, here, in this fic, he is pathetic and I dislike him. Next time, from one accomplished author to another who is at least trying to be one, try to make your protagonists more like-able, alright hun? Other than that, though, good effort. Lots of areas need polishing and you can't be really called a 'skilled' writer, but you're getting there! Just keep up the semi-adequate work!
| simpleunique loverMp chapter 1 . 6/25
This story is so...good,I really love Harry's personality. So please update more.
| rebekahalana chapter 21 . 6/22
... I just had to go & get myself thoroughly caught up in a story that hasn't been updated in over a year ...
It's a very addictive story , I hope you have plans to finish it . I hope Sev will be able to help Harry with his hands . I have a feeling that he is on the right track .
Marcus is an ass . He should have accepted Harry's resignation from the team instead of going to Snape ... I can't help but feel sorry for Harry right now ... alone , in danger , & no update in sight ...
| Ruairi J.L chapter 8 . 6/6
That opening scene merits an M rating for this story. T is much too lenient. It's the sort of thing one would read in A Song of Ice and Fire, as a comparison.