Reviews for Tin Soldiers
Hookedonreading chapter 20 . 8/30
Hello StarvingLunatic! I re-read your fics and is still so good and wonderfully well written! I love how you really developed the characters as time goes by and the plots.

You are such a talented writer with incredible imagination! Please continue to write and hopefully share and post.

Thank you for all your time, effort, imagination, and love in your fics!
SL Fan chapter 20 . 3/5
Done re-reading.
Please write a prequel, onegai
Hookedonreading chapter 20 . 12/28/2014
Wow! I enjoyed reading your series. The eternal love...yep...I do love romance and a good storyline.

You have an awesome imagination, determination, and focus to do this series. Please keep on writing because I know I'm not the only one that enjoys your stories.
RoaT chapter 19 . 5/13/2014
genial historia, ojala publiques algo nuevo de mai otome. casi no ahi historias de esas.
r chapter 20 . 2/25/2014
wthc chapter 20 . 7/15/2013
I have so much love for your Metal series, I'm glad you're planning on doing a prequel.
Couldn't have asked for a better ending, you sure know what you're doing.
Yay for Daphne in Parliament!
I don't know why but the scene I liked the most was the carriage one, pregnant Shizuru with Keiko rolling around inside her belly and Natsuki being supportive and caring and Shinobu sleeping safely in her arms. Picture-perfect for me.
Quite the little utopia Natsuki is trying to create opening her school. She's such a great character, so idealistic.
Hope everything runs smoothly and they live happily ever after.
Thank you.
Oh, before I forget, do you watch Game of Thrones or have you read George R. R. Martin? Since I've started watching the show I can't get an idea of ShizNat in a Game of Thrones setting out of my head. And that's your fault! I always ended up comparing the episodes and characters to your chapters and your version of the Otome characters... I think you would be perfect for something like that. What do you think? (not that you'd take requests, I'm just getting this thought out there)
TUYETPHAM chapter 20 . 7/14/2013
hehehe welcome ladies to Astraea Hill where the teachers are crazy and the fun is to figure out whose not a lesbian. i would laugh so hard if that was the kind of school Natsuki builds. So many kids for Shizuru to corrupt. Hehehe good series, I admit they are pretty long but they are funny, have great plot, and I don't get a headache while reading it because of grammar/spelling errors. Thanks for the great read.
DezoPenguin chapter 20 . 7/9/2013
It's taken me a bit of a while to think things through about the last two chapters of the story (admittedly, a little RL busyness added to the delay as well...), because as we come to the end I'm left with some decidedly mixed feelings about it all.

What's giving me trouble, I think, is something of the same problem as showed up in the ending of "Playing with Mercury," in that case the confrontation between Shizuru and Tomoe. There are a lot of events going by in which there's considerable "telling" and very little "showing" in terms of what's happening. Consider the first three paragraphs of Chapter 19, where sweeping events (Mashiro's return to the throne, peace talks, and the ongoing situation in Cardair) are rapidly moved past in summary without description of what really was done to accomplish them. Nina taking over the country in the end of 19 was much the same, and the summary of changes in the beginning of 20 are much the same: events are described as if in a history textbook, rather than presented as part of a story.

And this is the problem. In the previous "Metal" stories you have focused strongly on Shizuru and Natsuki and their relationship. "Dents in Her Armor" showed what happened when the communication lines break down between them and the kind of behavior we see Shizuru often depicted as practicing is allowed to get out of hand. "Reinforced Steel" gets into Natsuki's family background and how she became who she is, and draws the couple firmly close together. "Playing with Mercury" gives us a maternal Natsuki and Shizuru as well as showing the fear and strain that are placed on them by the very personal plot. "Tin Soldiers," however, has spent its entire length being not about the protagonists per se, but about the politics of the situation, the political movements, the inherent unfairness of absolute rule and how the Otome system is used as a pillar of support for Earl's status quo (hm, I wonder if there's something in there about why Garderobe's leaders are called "Columns"?). It's a political story at its heart, one exploring the struggle for human rights and the way that those who fight for even a worthy cause can lose themselves.

(I observe now, with a little more perspective, that it's actually kind of appropriate that the Mad Scientists and the Marquis aren't allowed their moment in the sun as villains to be fought in some kind of climactic battle. That's not the point of the story, and they're not really villains driving the plot; rather, they're a plot *device* which enables the rebelling forces to stand up to the Otome, who would otherwise obliterate them if called upon to do so. Thus, their defeat being quick and off-camera is appropriate because the story was never really about them. It was only appropriate that ultimately, they got swept away by events rather than being at the heart of them.)

(Also speaking of off-camera, it goes to show something that Sergay gets killed off off-stage and in a one-line throwaway remark. Which is probably one line more than ninety percent of Otome franchise fans believe that he deserves-but it's necessary because otherwise it would be totally OOC for Nina to accept the throne.)

I had rather expected, therefore, that the final few chapters of the story would feature parliamentary debates, arguments among various factions about what kind of human rights were needed and how to preserve the interests of the different sides, how to punish the rebels who'd engaged in violent revolt (including Lord Napolei and others who'd risen up for selfish reasons), where to draw the line of forgiveness, how to put Garderobe back together when the Otome were so dramatically split, Natsuki rising to the forefront as the expert diplomat she is in this setting, what it all means for international get the idea. Basically, everything that was actually presented in the story, but played out instead of just being told about.

What we do get, instead, is a sudden shift in focus back to Shizuru and Natsuki. Natsuki and Mashiro, Natsuki and Miss Maria, Natsuki and Shizuru in Chapter 19, then the scenes with Natsuki, Shizuru, Nao, and Natsuki's family in Chapter 20. All of these scenes are, by contrast, quite well-done, addressing a number of the personal issues involved, looking forward into the future, and generally being consistent with past characterization and enjoyable (the ShizNat in 19, especially, gave plenty of warm, fuzzy squees). When reducing things to the individual, personal level, the writing becomes much stronger. The scene with Natsuki and Miss Maria, for example, did an excellent job of wrapping up the smaller question of Natsuki's status within Garderobe and resolving the various feelings that have built up as far as she, personally was concerned across the earlier chapters. I really can't stress this enough in light of the criticism I noted above about the general, political plotline, but when it comes to the fate of specific characters-Natsuki, Shizuru, Nao, Mashiro, Miss Maria-you do an excellent job of wrapping things up, giving a proper conclusion to the storylines, and sending them off towards their futures.

In this way, then, I would say that the ending of "Tin Soldiers" actually does a better job in being the ending of the "Metal" series (chronologically speaking) then it does in being the end of "Tin Soldiers" itself! This is your strength in writing; whenever you're able to reduce a situation to specific characters, their hopes, dreams, and fears (just like how in earlier chapters, for example, the strongest scenes among the rebels were when Straw and Danton were arguing and it was possible to see their conflicting positions through "living, breathing" eyes and emotions instead of broader statements), it really comes to life and steps off the page. I think in this story you started to stretch that a bit, to explore a more thematically-based rather than character-based plotline, and in a number of ways you succeeded, even though there were also rough patches like in the ending.

I also look forward to your proposed prequel story whenever you feel like writing it (I note, thanks to Author Alert, that you've already begun a new "Once Upon a Time" project). You always manage to invest Natsuki and Shizuru with substance beneath the surface even while not abandoning their superficial, "broad strokes" characterizations presented in the source material (I note, for example, that in the HiME-based "Cry Wolf" that Natsuki and Shizuru display much less exaggerated "surface" personalities than they do in the Otome-based "Metal" series; they're distinctly different people in the two branches of the franchise and you capture that in your writing). I see that a number of your other reviewers have pointed you in the direction of some useful source material, so I'll just wish you the best of luck with future endeavors and be waiting with a smile to see them!
Guest chapter 20 . 7/2/2013
It is amazing! The fandom needs more such stories as yours! Truly!
Athrun.knight chapter 20 . 6/25/2013
Hi there!
Here are some little things that can help you in writing the prequel:
This is the Drama CD of Shizuru:
and here's the translation - .

And the best for last:
468458620/mai-otome-drama-cd-vol-1-miss-maria-wa-m iteita/
this little one has pretty much everything that you're gonna need! xD
Guest chapter 20 . 6/25/2013
I've loved your Metal series for years. I hope you consider doing even one-shots from that verse. Even just to see how people are doing. As for the shiznat beginnings, you might like to listen to the drama CD/Audio which I think you'll be able to find on YouTube. That's where I found them at least, years ago.

I can give you a recap of what I can recall though: basically Shizuru was the number 1 pearl, and she was quite cocky. She was deciding on who should be her room attendant with whom she intended to take full advantage of. Pretty sure that includes things of a sexual nature. The number 2 coral, Natsuki, caught her eye. Natsuki idolised her and with Mai's help managed to get Shizuru alone so she can ask to be her attendant. Shizuru says she has to test out Natsuki or something first and I think begins to feel her up. Natsuki is shocked and slaps her. Shizuru is shocked as well, after all, doesn't everyone want that from her? Natsuki says she just wants to know Shizuru.
Shizsuki Kuga Fujino chapter 20 . 6/24/2013
hola hola
como le va?
me encanto sus historias todas y esta ultima o mi dios
es usted una gran escritora ojala que pueda hacer otra historia
con shizuru y natsuki de protagonistas seria maravilloso
por favor por favor muchas gracias por haber podido terminar la historia
y sobre todo por todo el argumento o como se desarrollo la historia
es usted un genio pues hasta pronto
saludos por su fan
cuide ce bye
Guest chapter 20 . 6/23/2013
cool story
Kazuma Kyriu Kazama chapter 20 . 6/23/2013
Another fantastic story, SL! I hope the prequel works itself out, and/or you do more of these. But this was a good place to end, and im not disappointed in the least, which rarely happens lol. I at least hope to read more ShizNat from you, one of my fave. ShizNat authors.
Guest chapter 20 . 6/23/2013
I really love this story! This series in fact!
The story is very smooth, not too hard to keep up and understand, but at the same time very detail.

I started the series from Playing with Mercury. Then Tin Soldiers is the next. But while waiting for an update of new chapter, I found the other ones. So I ended up reading the previous stories in lightning speed and kept reading again and agian while waiting for your new chapter. LoL

It's great to hear that there will be more story in this Metal series :)
I will be sure to follow and read. I'm your fan \\\

PS. Where is Natsuki' brother Hayate?
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