|Reviews for Furinkan Mental Institution|
| OddWallow chapter 1 . 2/11/2013
I'm a little iffy on this story. Your writing style seems good and all, im just worried about the plot. I dont want to lose everyone i know and love! But i do like what youve got brewing here, i just hope everything tirns out alright ;) kinda reminds me of the story line from Sucker Punch. I'm gunna follow this story and hope to see more chapters up, soonish :)
| Compucles chapter 1 . 2/11/2013
Well, the grammar gets pretty sloppy at times, and there's not a lot here so far, but it's a decent idea that has some potential. It does seem a little too weird, though, whether Akane's finally getting better after two years of delusions, or something's caused mass delusions and memory modifications in everyone except Akane.
If I were in Akane's situation here, I'd try some kind of test to see if it's possible that my memories are accurate, the easiest being throwing hot water on Ranko or cold water on Shampoo or Nurse Genma.
Why would Dr. Tofu ask about the current president? They don't have presidents in Japan. What's the difference between "closing the dojo" and the way it already was? They haven't had any students for years, anyway.
| AliceTheBookGirl chapter 1 . 2/10/2013
Hey, I like it! This idea is so completely original and the premise really got me hooked. Continue! Oh by the way, where's Mousse?
Also, did something involving magic happen and make everyone end up like this? Or is this like an alternate universe-type thing? Either way is fine with me, and I can't wait to see how you unravel this story. (That is, if you decide to continue it. Please do!)
| tuatara chapter 1 . 2/10/2013
If you choose to contine this story, which could be really interesting, I would strongly recommend going back and rewriting this chapter in much more detail. It moves way too quickly and ony gives the most basic of details. Akane's conversation with Ranko is more effective, but even that could benefit from more detail, especially about Akane's thoughts on everything she's learned.
I hope you'll consider sticking with this. Thanks for sharing.
| Santamadre chapter 1 . 2/10/2013
Interesting start. Let's see where you take it!
| poseidon's son chapter 1 . 2/10/2013
Wow! Nice beginning! Your fanfic reminds me of the movie 'sucker punch'.
| Dagoni hide chapter 1 . 2/10/2013
Not bad ( nothing to worry with your writing, just the subject that is special ), but I don't really see where you can lead this
I'm curious on what you'll end up with ( Several dimensions ? Is there a fact in "Akane's world" that explains her sudden awareness ? etc.. )
| James Birdsong chapter 1 . 2/10/2013
Wow. Well written and suspenseful. Cool fanfic. A cup shot Shampoo? Do you mean a cop?