|Reviews for What Lies in the Hearts of Others|
| Yamiga chapter 1 . 2/19/2014
You're writing style is really good, I like it! I can tell that you pay attention to your writing style and it's good to read a story that isn't drowning in errors. You're a good writer.
The story however, confuses me. I know it's AU but it completely ruins the point and plot of the Finder Series. The Finder Series is a yaoi manga, and adding a female OC as Feilong's love interest isn't really...well, I mean it's just really unrealistic and you mention that Asami is jealous. View Finder is a yaoi manga, centered around Yaoi themes and your story portrays the characters as being OOC. Take Feilong for instance.
He can't just fall in love with your character so easily. Remember he has MAJOR internal emotional struggles. He still loves Asami and he's fallen for Takaba, just throwing your OC in the plot kind of ruins the point of his character, completely.
And there is no way Asami would get jealous. He loves Takaba, he has no emotions for Feilong and he wouldn't have emotions for an OC.
But lastly, you do have skills as a writer, good ones. Your writing style is really good and it's enjoyable, I just think you should work on characterization if you're adding a female OC.
| Dora chapter 6 . 2/8/2014
Just keep going. Just keep going
| Rose Nusrat chapter 11 . 12/10/2013
The story is good. But Asami is little out of character. And sometimes its get a little confusing what is actually Happening. I hope you will update soon.
| DeathlyIceMaiden chapter 10 . 11/30/2013
She has it rough but I wonder what she is.
| dragonchiclet chapter 10 . 4/11/2013
I'm really curious what Kai is to Fei! Since Finder is BL one would expect a gay Fei ... will he turn out bisexual? heterosexual? Or is his interest in the girl of another kind yet, that he sees in her something of himself? She has a surreal feel to her, maybe she isn't a real person at all, but a projection of his lonely fantasy?
| skycord1990 chapter 9 . 3/24/2013
Please update soon!
| dragonchiclet chapter 9 . 3/22/2013
"what kind of bodyguard are you" - and thus Yoh is dismissed? *g*
"We need to find a way to send him away without a scene" - that's it for Mik?
Who will Fei end up with - the girl? Oh no ... but she isn't that young? She already gave birth, or did I misunderstand?
(you don't have to tell if it's a spoiler) ;-)
Once again, meeeeeean cliffie ;-)
| dragonchiclet chapter 8 . 3/20/2013
OMG how can you end it there?! Was the matter with my Fei?!
While the three main VF charas (Asami, Akihito and Fei Long) seem to me to be in rather a peevish relationship - yes not that much friendliness lost between Akihito and Asami either - this girl already has drug and soulmate status to four men - Feilong, Akihito, Sam and Sebastian! Are they perhaps all closet hetero's? *g*
Ooo, go on, please!
| JoEdgardHom chapter 1 . 3/20/2013
Good story .. Update soon please!
| dragonchiclet chapter 2 . 3/18/2013
"Fei Long couldn't help but bid on a young male that looked as if he were part snake, his eyes were a light violet color" ... sounds like he's bidding for himself in mystic form
Quite something else, this! no time right now, but will go on
| thenewbiefangirl chapter 6 . 3/11/2013
Best fei long story I have read. And you even managed to include Asami without making them get together, which almost never happens. I really like your story. It has depth to it that is not often seen in a fanfiction.
| dragonchiclet chapter 1 . 2/27/2013
Wow! EXCITING. Dark. "Interesting show" hmmmm ... ;-)