|Reviews for Asleep|
| Sad Anon chapter 69 . 12/1
You know, im actually sad now
one year later and no new chapter, no update, no side story
pretty hard to keep a story such as this moving foward, but i never had an issue with the Oc's, actually liked Mal
and now i suppose this is it, the end of it
it was a fun read, actually printed the work cause i liked it. but if you can't finish the story it's ok
Best of luck in the future
| Star Geman chapter 44 . 11/27
I laughed my ass of with the Cthulhu part.
| jordanlink7856 chapter 2 . 10/19
I admire his willpower; I would've squealed
| Party hat chapter 69 . 10/9
So, almost one year since this story was stuck into the freezer.
how about if we celebrate by reading it again?, i know it ain't much, but lets hope once we hit the year milestone we may have another chapter.
| MP36PH3S chapter 69 . 8/16
I dunno, I think Cam/Cynthia played out just fine. Xane getting involved was interesting, but you even explained why he would be beforehand. I'm a little less sure about whether bringing back Anna would be the best idea. Seeing her killed off prematurely is what I imagine was supposed to be a hammer blow to readers (was for me), and it loses its effect and significance if you just reverse it later. It might look different to you since you wrote this over no insignificant period of time, and it's still your call, I'm just giving my two cents as a reader who didn't pick this up until the chapter count was in the upper sixties.
As for Flavia, I agree a little more on the subject of killing her off. If you will pardon another personal opinion, I think divine intervention on her behalf wouldn't be unjustified given the important role she plays in the Valm and second Plegia portions of Awakening's story. Might also give Emmeryn someone else to talk to about otherworldly matters too.
Fuck the canon characters, this is a SI first and foremost. The OCs can and should take center stage here, one reason being that they're completely undeveloped when introduced whereas we already know a decent bit about canon characters from the official game. They've got some character development to catch up on compared to the others, hence why I think it's a very good thing that we see the world from Cameron's perspective for most of the early chapters. That's not to say plot-relevant characters like Lucina shouldn't get PoV chapters either - especially since Emmeryn has been, shall we say, enlightened - but I still think those should be secondary, filling the readers in on what's happened elsewhere during previous chapters, as they currently are.
Sorry if I came off as pushing suggestions in your face, but one of my favorite things about "Asleep" has been its storytelling, and I don't want to see it change. The story has the rare trait of expanding to become rather complicated while doing so in a way that doesn't force it all on the reader faster than they can digest it, Emmeryn's introduction to the Pantheon aside (which was for immersion's sake so I don't even count it). And that's something I highly admire. You've got a great work here, don't leave it unfinished.
| MP36PH3S chapter 59 . 8/6
Oh hell, Lucien comes in only at 4th? He's already sure Lucina's got no chance against him, Chrom's above Lucina, they're both probably above Severa, and nobody else known to us in the Ylissean League matches either.
Wonder when we'll see the reveals of #2 and #3...
| SuperVegitoFAN chapter 54 . 8/1
Sheesh in the game id say 3 years at most for everything and that INCLUDES the timeskip. This is gonna je interesting and might very well fit better with the future story.
| SuperVegitoFAN chapter 41 . 7/31
Damn... no offense man but your family sounds... bad...
| LeonPianta chapter 42 . 7/28
Oops I'm crying about Fire again
| DanteAl999 chapter 69 . 7/15
Well...that was a REALLY good story. Characters are good and the world is sufficiently developed that even someone like me, who has never played or seen a Fire Emblem game ever, can have an understanding of what's going on is impressive.
Also this is the only story I've read that has a time travel/multiverse plot device that is actually followable, cause that has killed my interest in great stories before because it gets very convoluted very fast. I hope you manage to find the time to continue this amazing story. Live long, prosper, and have a good day.
| LeonPianta chapter 30 . 7/6
I'm still crying abt this lol
| LeonPianta chapter 28 . 7/6
"He's going to have his manly ways with me" is still one of my favorite lines in all of literature
| Royal9000 chapter 69 . 7/6
So. I just spent the last four days, using each bit of my spare time, every sitting I could, to read this story up to where it is now. Why did I start? Because it was the highest-ranked humor story. I thought that despite it being an OC-centric, it would be good enough anyways. Why did I keep reading? BECAUSE it was an OC-centric, and one of the most brilliant interpretations of the events of Awakening I've seen. The omniversal crossover makes it even better, and the writing style—so much beautiful snark and wit, everywhere! But it's not just that; if it was just that, it would feel overdone and cheesy; everyone has just that right amount of jade to make them fit in with the world, no more or less.
Sure, there are some things you could have done better—I did want to see a bit more of the fallout from Flavia's death, for example—but those things are few and far between. Some characters DO seem to get more screentime than others, but that's the natural consequence of juggling so many back at once. While some might see that as a downside, I personally think it's better to give a well-written, well-developed, and well-liked character SOME limited time and be demoted to an extra, rather than not be written at all.
And I don't know how you did it, but you actually made me like Cameron and the other OCs. Enough that I'm glad that they're the main focus, because it shows a level of writing skill beyond what most good authors on this site can do: anyone who's good enough can write Owain's raging or Lon'qu's fear of women, but very few can successfully pull off a good OC, because it involves *creating* character depth instead of riding off of preconceptions. So please keep the Cameron, Julian, and all the rest coming whenever you can, because I'll go mad if I don't get to see what happens to them, especially with Lucien still lurking.
...Except Noel. She can be demoted if you want. You've perhaps done TOO good of a job at writing her.
| LeonPianta chapter 17 . 7/3
Tbh as an Ike/Soren shipper I'm still screaming abt Emmeryn's Spotpass chapter
| kalmaegi chapter 7 . 6/27
They're hilarious. Our poor hero is stressed.