|Reviews for When the dam breaks|
| xAPRAx chapter 4 . 8/2/2014
| Linorien chapter 4 . 7/16/2014
Yes! Merlin is the best. Wonderful rant and perfect last line.
| EccentricFox chapter 7 . 12/8/2013
I was going to leave this story, without having finished reading it and without even making a comment, but I think this story has a lot of potential, and with a bit of re-working, can be really great.
I like your concept, and I like the events that you included so far but the execution leaves much to be desired. The constant rehashing of events from different perspectives is tiresome and unnecessary; there are ways to include other people's view of things without literally having to repeat a scene over and over from different angles.
Your sentences need a bit of tightening; some are hard to follow and there are persistent typos throughout. If you don't personally have the time to go back and pore through your text, perhaps find a beta who is willing to go in and tidy it up for you. Also, I would try and avoid using modern slang like "cool" and "yeah" if you're going to go for the time period in which the TV show is set. I have never heard Gwaine say "Dude" in the show. That kind of language is fine when you're setting it in a modern era, but not so acceptable when you're setting it back in Camelot times.
But like I said, you have a workable idea here and with a little extra care, this could really be something special.
| emma94 chapter 8 . 6/23/2013
The most glaring error i see here is the fact that Agravane is in the picture and it's clearly set S4, this means Arthur is king (depending on how far into s4) and if i remember correctly even if Uther is still alive he i in no fit state to be doing much of anything.
Aside from that this story is looking to be very interesting and I'm looking forward to seeing how it all unfolds.
I think Gwanie's reaction is spot on (not seen s5 so dont know what canon is), how i think he would react.
| Lady of The Wind Dweller chapter 17 . 4/13/2013
Oh, I forgot to mention that I've read this story at 5 a.m this morning( I just couldn't help myself when I've read the summary because this kind of stories where Merlin comes out in a fit of BAMFness are second on my best Melrin fanfiction top) but I was too tired an hour later when I had devoured it to write a review.
There are many things I loved in this story, from how well you captured the characters' personality to Arthur's internal conflict when finding out about Merlin's magic.
The next thing that I liked very much was the first part of chapter six where Arthur and the knights decided to keep Merlin's magic a secret. I especially liked the way you didn't mention who said what and shrouded the whole thing in mystery.
Oh, I have to say that you managed to paint the best Gwaine I've read in a while..I could just picture everything your Gwaine said with the 'real' one in the show. Plus, I really loved the way you delved deeper into his history without occupying too much of the story in the process.
There are other parts that I really loved but I won't put them all here because..well..that'll mean the whole story, really :) ! But I can't help but mention that lovely part at the end, just before Morgana died when Merlin asked Arthur if he should kill her just with his eyes..that was awesome..they've done that kind of silent communication in the show and when I read it, it was just like watching another episode but better because reading is always better than watching movies or tv shows..in my opinion. Not that I don't love the show..
Look how much I've been prattling on, I hope I didn't bore you, I have a tendency to speak too much and sometimes it transcends even in written form XD.
Loved your story!
| fluffy-fuzzy-ears chapter 4 . 3/28/2013
Haha that was definitely one of the best magical reveal scenes I've ever read. This is an excellent fic XD
| midknightmist chapter 17 . 3/27/2013
wow good story. Thanks for sharing
| Shadow-StrikeRaven chapter 17 . 3/25/2013
Wow, perfect ending!
This entire fic was amazing, and I really cannot wait to read more of your work!
| Amethyst M chapter 17 . 3/24/2013
Great story! I hope to see you write another.
| Guest chapter 4 . 3/23/2013
Omg. That was the best bamf!Merlin reveal scene I've ever read. Woo hoo!
| AnotherMerlinFan chapter 17 . 3/23/2013
This was an amazing story, thank you for writing it! :)
| pinkalligator chapter 17 . 3/23/2013
Thanks for writing this story I have enjoyed every single chapter!
| Dawnfire11 chapter 17 . 3/23/2013
*SOB*I'm sad to see this story ending. It was a really great read. Good luck on your future stories! XD
| MamzelleHermy chapter 17 . 3/23/2013
Well, it was a very good story! Can't wait to hear more from you!
| hieisdragoness18 chapter 17 . 3/23/2013
good story! a couple of things though, 1. Morgana is not Agravaine's niece. While Arthur is his nephew the relation is through his mother just like Tristan the Black Knight,and since Morgana has a different mother they share no relation. Also you seem to go back and forth with how long it's been since Merlin revealed his magic. in this chapter it's only a month but when merlin is talking to the druids and telling them that arthur know about his magic it's been two months. And thirdly, how is it that Morgana had her magic in this final battle if Merlin had bound it previously? other than that and a couple minor word mix ups, more than likely the fault of an auto-correct, this was a really nice reveal story.