So... I like the idea of your story and really wanted to read it, but I have to say the way you write your dialogue is a little too far from actual speaking things such as "oh, I just feel so protective of you I really don't know how that happened." doesn't really sound like something ppl would actually say. I am also missing a little detail in the action. You could lead towards the things that happen a little more in the first seven chapters you hinted towards a connection between the FBI and the Black's the Black's and the Denalis and you introduced James as a threat. It's a little much at once with not a lot of time in-between.

Hoping you finish! Merry Christmas

Wish there was more ..too many mob ficus left incomplete data ..I'm doing a covid clean out on my alerts and this is another to go ..thanks. For sharing did like the way this was going thanks for sharing have fun

The Blacks and the Denali's aare thes to watch, but where is James.

Great.

So sad for losing Aro, l would have liked him dealt with Blacks first. Poor Bella, what happened to Charlies mother?

phew, l need a shower now.

Go Bella, show them who you are

Great, l really, really like Char.

Loving it.

Thanks for a great chapter.-:)

Well put Edward.

Wow, it just gets better. Billy is in so much trouble, he killed Aro's son.

I can't wait to know what they find out at bank.

Maybe Charlie's parents were in the mob and that's why Charlie left them.