|Reviews for Break Away|
| The Original Horcrux chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
Scorrose is one of my OTP's so when I saw that thsi was Scorlily, I was rather apprehensive about reading this, but I did like the characterisations that you gave Lily and Scorpius and although their relationship seemed sort of rushed, it was sweet all the same. I can see why Lily would've been upset about Scorpius standing her up but I'm glad that Al talked to Lily and she talked to Scorp and it turned out that both their parents were happy... ALSO THIS LINE
[Scorpius' ears turned red. "Well, it's my sixth year, and I've never had a girlfriend! They were worried I was gay.".] - I DIED THIS WAS THE BEST THING EVER! Great job!
| dimitrisgirl18 chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
This was a really nice fic :) I enjoyed the awkwardness at the beginning of their relationship and I thought it was cute how they came together at the end. Two quick things, though. 1) It's not likely that everyone called her LIly Luna-it's more likely that she went by LIly. It's also a bit cumbersome to read. 2) The SPaG was a little bit off, and it made for a little distraction.
Other than that, though, your plot was lovely and I think it was really awesome! Good job :)
| Fading to Black chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
I like how we see the compromise of the parents and their growing up through the children. I'm also glad to see that they take this seriously, becoming familiar by the tree, and that it's not all smooth sailing, what with Hogsmeade.
| Empress Empoleon chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
That was a lot of fluff! :D While I'm not a huge fan of ScorpiusLily you made me enjoy the story anyways. There were some SPaG errors, so you should proofread it once over again. To tell the truth, while I thought it was a sweet story, I wish you had some more plot development, or more conflict. However, you still did a good job with this.
| Ralinde chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
That was rather fluffy. I liked seeing a different portrayal of Lily than I usually read, it's a nice change.
I have to admit, the constant referral to her as 'Lily Luna' was a bit too much. No one uses their middle name on a daily basis and her friends and relatives would definitely not call her that, but use a nick name or abbreviation instead.
Also, the last part felt kind of rushed. It's great that both set of parents aren't as judgmental as Lily and Scorpius feared, but I felt they were over-acceptant to a point where it became (almost) unbelieveable. Although, I can definitely see Draco worrying about his son possibly being gay.
I loved Albus in this, he seems like the type of brother whi'd look after his little sister.
| starlight.moon.princess chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
So, not a fan of the pairing, but I loved your characterization of Scorpius, Lily and Albus. It's refreshing to read a non-bitchy Lily for once, that's getting a bit too overused imo...
II must say, I'm not sure if I liked the repetition of Lily Luna throughout the fic. There are a lot of times when she, her, or even Lily could have taken the place of her name, and to better effect. It's not only the usage of the proper nouns, but also the full name that is a bir too much, imo.
Having Scorpius/her parents refer to her as "Lily Luna" instead of "Lily" is again odd. I don't think anyone would be called by their first and middle names together unless they were in trouble. Just "Lily" would have worked better.
However, despite all this, the fic was lovely, so well done :)
| Montley chapter 1 . 3/26/2013
All and all this was a cute story, though I would have liked to see some more conflict between Lily and Scorp.
I loved your characterization of Lily, though in a weird way I imagined her younger than she was in the story, why, because I'm weird.
Near the end when Scorpius came scampering back to her with Draco's letter, saying they were worried he was gay made me laugh!
| AmzyD chapter 1 . 3/26/2013
I liked your writing here, the dialogue was good and the way yu characterisated them both was great. However, I do think things progressed a little too fast. but overall, nicely done
| Isilarma chapter 1 . 3/24/2013
I haven't read any stories with this pairing before, but I like the way you've done it. The issue of their parents was handled well, and it was good that you didn't just make everything perfect straight away.
I also like the fact that you've got Lily as the smart one and Rose as the boy-obsessed one, it makes a nice change from most of the Next-gen I've read.
I quite liked it overall, well done.
| autumn midnights chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
Well, I do love LilyScorpius, so I was happy to see that, at least. And Slytherin!Scorpius fits nicely with my headcanon, as well, so I liked seeing that. I liked the way that this was split into different sections, as well, and each one progressed the story nicely. I'm glad Lily and Scorpius get their happy ending at the end of the fic, and I liked that you threw in a little angst by having Scorpius and Lily go through a brief period of not being together. I liked your characterization of Albus most of all, because I can see him being the older brother who isn't mad about who Lily's dating.
Your Lily is vastly different from mine, I will say that - it feels strange to read about a quiet, school-loving, Gryffindor Lily, considering how I write her. Of course, since it's next-gen, it's not like she's OOC. I will say you probably should watch the fact that you refer to her as 'Lily Luna' throughout the entire fic - most likely, she wouldn't always go by her first and middle name (or if she does, there should be a quick line explaining why, since that's pretty uncommon). Overall, this was a pretty nice read, though, I love LilyScorpius.
| Lily meet Ginny chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
Lol I hit the part where a Gryffindor was with the slimy snake and I would have laughed so much if Lily Luna had been the slimy Slytherin. The last line about his family being happy he wasn't gay was funny too. I liked the different spin you put on this and how there was just enough angst paired with just enough romance. I wonder if the peace between the families will last and how the rest of the family will deal with it. Great job.
| Fire The Canon chapter 1 . 3/18/2013
I really enjoyed your characterisation of Lily here. A lot of people have her as some self-richeous bitch, who doesn't care about anything, which - although I can't say OOC - I think is completely ridiculous. I don't think Harry would raise his kids like that. So well done.
I think that maybe you could have referred to her as Lily for most of the story, rather than Lily Luna. I see that a lot in next-gen fics, people writing Lily Luna, or Albus Severus all the way through. It just seems odd that these kids would introduce their middle names too. I mean, I sure don't give my middle name when I introduce myself.
Over all, this was a fairly well-written piece. Just watch for grammar (commas, not periods after speech). Well done, I enjoyed it.
| Crownfall chapter 1 . 3/1/2013
Yay, happy endings! :D This was such a cute, fluffy fic, and my absolute favourite next-gen pairing is lily/scor!
| onecelestialbeing chapter 1 . 2/15/2013
this is totally cute in that innocent love way that makes me nostalgic 3
| Bad Mum chapter 1 . 2/14/2013
Not a pairing I've read before, but you make it work. I like the idea of Scorpius' parents being glad because they thought he was gay!