Reviews for 100 OneShot Challenge
Halliova chapter 2 . 3/25/2013
It's so great !
Prin Pardus chapter 3 . 3/24/2013
I was just thinking yesterday how I didn't miss her as much now that a little time had gone by and things were moving on but
oh man
still miss her so much
jaci why ;;;-;;;

I think a long time ago I said I didn't like her much
and it was true
she just irked me, with her ditziness and crazy personalities
but then she matured
and became so gosh-darned selfless at times
like with jessie and jenner
but still cheerful and kinda stupid and just adorable
and she and Shaq became buddies and he doesn't know how to cope with a kitty like her but she didn't care they were best friends forever ok
and
father oh man :c
Jaci never really had any parents to guide her (her dad wasn't even around, was he? Idk who he even was which is terrible) but Mack and Twist did their best and they were really good at it but she so coulda used a father figure
and now I'm really wishing they had more conversations because he totes would have been that, even if he didn't know how ;;-;;

you need to stop saying your stuff is bad tho because it isssssn't
you got Shaq's big growly stoicalness (that's a word apparently? not sure if it's what i meant but it sounds cool) down and Jaci is just the sweetest ball o sunshine to ever grace this earth ok
i love her so much :ccc

but the deets in this story are perf, with shaq being all concerned but incredibly awkward at the same time and jaci perking up (was it a plan all along? who knoooows) and being inscrutably cheerful as usual even though she's down about things
(the queen bit was so cruel D:)
and her "inflicting" happiness upon him, hehe. shaq needs someone to teach him how to be happy. i don't think he's gotten there in rp yet at all, even post-choice. too much stress. ellie needs to cheer him up ok? they will go on big adventures and have fun times foreverrrr

sdflkjsdkl and even tho i don't usually think of shaq as the father type at all
he would make a good awkwardly uncomfortable one
i mean he kinda is to mael but we don't really think of him like that and he so shoulda to jaci but then she diiiied and we never got around to it but
with the jenci kits
yes ok. best father ever

anyway thank you for writing this even tho it makes my heart hurt. i really do miss jaci, and it's good to see her again, esp. being so cute with the shaqmeister, who is near and dear to my heart. don't beat yourself up about quality because it was goooood (shaq can be a tough dude to write i think but you did well) and it made me sad so mission accomplished.

i think you've been kinda sad lately too, and i dunno if it was something i did, but i'm sorry. i still love you even if you did murder poor dear sweet precious jaci and are probably going to do something horrible to feather and jerked me around about the season finale thing. you're a pretty swell dude and i've missed you the past couple weeks, so i hope you feel better soon. :c

anyway, thanks again for following through on this. fav'd, def. you're amazing. :)
faraways chapter 3 . 3/24/2013
[ch. 3 Father]
Amg Stormy the feels ;-;
But seriously, this was perfect. I miss Jaci so, so much because now we don't have like any happy characters in RP and she was just so cheery ajfsdd
Your writing has that simple eloquence to it that just feels easy to read but far from boring. I love your characterization of Shackle, he is almost exact to his character in-RP, and seeing more of Jaci is always great. :D
I dunno much about the SG, but this fic really touches the family aspect that doesn't come up much while they're always planning battle stuffs.
Great one-shot, Stormy! c:
Shadough chapter 3 . 3/23/2013
(She had lost Jenner to Jessie because of her own vanity and stupidity)
Eheheh, they never really got together.
(Jenner and Jessie were her friends, but being near the two lovebirds only made her feel queasy on the inside.)
Again, they were never really like that. Then again, this is an AU.
(It almost made her feel like an expecting queen.)
*coughcough*
(Jessie and Twister my sisters!)
D'awh. :3
(considering he was mooning over Jessie now)
;;;
Ellie and Joel-The Last of Us chapter 2 . 2/17/2013
Stop putting yourself down! Degrading yourself does no good. Besides, I like this one. I like the description in the beginning and the vibe from it. Only thing I would suggest is a little bit more action. That's it.
Shadough chapter 1 . 2/15/2013
Quinn baby. ;-;

Thats actually how I planned to make Tifara. You're so awesome Stormster. I love you. ;D
Prin Pardus chapter 1 . 2/14/2013
stormy if you put yourself down one more time I will cut you
you're so much better than you think you are
i'm still messed up over jaci even hnnnng
she'd better be happy in the afterlife, darnnit

but anyway i really liked the beginning. it was confusing at first and really threw me for a loop, but the repetition of wolves and the images were super intriguing. i was pretty pumped even though i figured she was dreaming because the images were all disjointed and stuff, but when she did i was still a touch surprised, especially since i wasn't sure whose pov it was. i'm guessing a few likes have meaning in got? are wolves a common thing to be threatened with? i really have no idea. even without prior knowledge, though, it works. it makes peggy sound super threatening and scary, and we don't even really get to see his tone. you don't have to describe it because we just /feel/ it, and that's fantastic.

their family tree confuses me (i really need to study shader's thing) but i'm glad you threw in their mother/brother stuff, because that helped. they're reyna's kids, right? or something. part of the fambly, that's all i need to know. xD

there were some grammatical issues, like where semicolons would be instead of commas. commas link clauses, semicolons link sentences. for example, "She was more than hurt now, she felt broken, injured" would be "She was more than hurt now; she felt broken, injured" because the first and second parts can technically stand on their own, although they sound nicer together. there were also a few places in dialogue where you used a period instead of a comma before "Tifara expressed her opinion," for example. since that describes how she was speaking, it's part of the over-arching sentence, so the quotes should end with a comma. i think.

but anyway, i like the contrast between quinn - who is honestly pretty scared and hurt and afraid - and her kinda lazy, snotty sister. tiff doesn't seem to understand how things are going down, but quinn does, even though she's young (so young ;-;). she's also really brave and i already like her, which means you're prolly going to murder her horribly and make me sad. D:

i really want Q/Ke interactions now. i'm curious as to how she'd raise the heir of the family, and also if peggy still has such a firm, frightening hold on her.

one of my favorite things here is the italics, which i mentioned before. it makes pegasus sound absolutely menacing, without having to show who said it or what his tone really was. it's freaky, chilling, and perfect, not to mention the repetition really helps drill in how harsh he is, and what a hold he has over their lil group. perfecto.

excellent job, stormy, really lovely. i demand more. :I
Shadesaurus chapter 1 . 2/14/2013
aw jeez, I didn't know Peggy was a baddie. Suppose I shouldn't be surprised, considering this is a char of Prin's, and she is an evil mastermind. :IIII

but enuff of that cruel mistress and her eeeeeevil schemes, let's get this review rolling

Quinn. ;-; She is already living up to her namesake's beauty, and that is such a tall order considering QUINN FABRAY ASDLJADJAD. She's going to be the coolest mother ever for Keagan - I honestly cannot wait to RP that guy. It'll be freakin sweet being the master for once. but dude, Quinn. That poor sweetie. :c

I really like how you put in those italics thingies. (i am so elegant, but hey, it's 11pm on a thursday night don't judge) Those are from the Peggy v. Quinn convo, right? gah, they're so cool. I think I'm going to steal that technique from you for the Jenci one-shot, if you don't mind, love. :3

I already mentioned this back at the forum, but I really feel like the quality of your writing is going up a notch. Mebbe it's because you're in high school now and they actually teach you -useful- stuff, idk, but it's showing. I'm so proud. ;;

Really, really good work, Stormy. again, I'm so proud. *heart*