|Reviews for Leavetaking|
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/16
Guess what, it's the forum troll or is it?
| DeejayMil chapter 1 . 7/30
[Sherlock pronounced it "polly-gamey"- a sure-fire sign that he'd never heard the expression in real life and had read it somewhere. The Encyclopedia Britannica, perhaps, or he'd been raiding Mycroft's book collection again. This was something of an achievement in itself, since Sherlock was four years old and not yet at school.] - you begin with this which implies that it's Mycroft's third person POV, but then a few lines later we're firmly in Sherlock's head. This is a little confusing and jarring - head-jumping in third person POV is really, really distracting and weakens almost all stories - of course, it can be done well, but rarely. Sticking to the one POV per scene is generally the best option.
[But Dad had a six week stay at home that spring] - would the Holmes brothers call their dad (in this universe at least) Dad? They call their mother Mummy, but their father is a stern and distant figure. This might be a personal choice, but father might be a little more Holmesy
[His entire concept of Egypt had come from the pictures in Mycroft's books, and the little he'd been able to coax out of his brother. So if Dad had recently been eating camel-meat on a sandy blanket - next to the Sphinx, of course - with a bunch of Bedouin travelers, well. Maybe that's why the silverware had to be so shiny.] - I love children's trains of thought. This is wonderful.
[The Holmes children were never patronised when they asked what something meant.] - This is also so wonderfully in character.
I think there's a few issues with scene-setting in the dialogue heavy section of the scene - not so much scene-setting, as the dialogue alone failed to create the kind of tension that the scene required. However, I LOVE Mycroft protecting Sherlock, in any form, so that gets a gold star from me :)
The ending didn't finalize as well as the last one, but it's still a nice conclusion - it could be improved upon if you ever have mind to, however. Some more visceral descriptions throughout this short piece would add to it and fill in a lot of the blank scenes that didn't quite ring strongly enough, but overall it's a solid little piece, and terribly sad. Poor Sherlock :(
| Otaku and Proud chapter 1 . 6/22
Both Daddy and Mummy Holmes are idiots, and it breaks my heart to see Sherlock be the victim but I applaud Mycroft defending him!
| persevera chapter 1 . 5/8
Heartbreaking. Poor precocious Sherlock. He had no idea the trouble he just started. Mycroft might have been different with him, if he didn't have to compensate for a pathetic excuse for a father.
It's particularly sad that the brothers are now going to be in their separate rooms, listening to the battle alone, but it wouldn't be Mycroft to stay in the room with him.
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/13/2014
Poor Sherlock. For something like this to happen when he is too young to really understand. And Mycroft is the mature and levelheaded big brother he is, but it is obvious the situation is stressing him out as well. He's handling it remarkably well for a fifteen-year old, but there's only so much he can do in such matters.
| frankannestein chapter 1 . 10/27/2014
I think I don't like this story at all! :3 I actually really do because it is VERY well done, but I don't, because it's horrible and sad on so many levels. And super private, too. I feel like an eavesdropper of the worst kind.
Sherlock idolizing his mother in her princess dress. Love.
Mycroft losing his shit. Also love, but I wanted to cry. In that annoying "disinterested person" wisdom, I know it's better that Sherlock know he shouldn't idolize anybody, especially his brother, but it's always terrible when that truth really sinks in. I'm not looking forward to the fallout from any of this.
My feelings toward Phillipa just flip-flopped AGAIN. Holy moly, what a horrible thing to have to go through. The china is probably my most favorite device in the chapter. It represents her in a very clear way. Nicely done, there. :3
| GeorgyannWayson chapter 1 . 5/31/2014
Why must you make me FEEL SO MUCH?! Why?! Poor Sherlock and poor Mycroft. Adult from a very young age...I have to admit, even though this was an extremely serious piece, I did fist pump when Mummy Holmes stuck up for her little boy and confronted the beast of Daddy Holmes's behavior (though they could've at least not argued within ear shot of their kids). Reminds me of when I used to hear my parents argue when I was younger...but I digress.
Thank you for writing this. Wonderful.
| becgate chapter 1 . 4/29/2014
Loved it! !
| DjinniFires chapter 1 . 3/5/2014
First, you achieved your purpose. I wanted to cry. This is so tragic in a very complex way- -tragic at the time it happened for all involved (well, maybe it was just a *bother* for the father who had to then pay alimony and come up with a new homebase); and, as shown by the related scenes in "The Somerton Man," tragic long term for Sherlock and Mycroft. Yes, this speculation about the Holmes brothers parents is much more interesting than what canon has given us so far.
The portrayal of the genius-level intelligence at an emotionally immature level of development (well, Sherlock continues to be emotionally immature as an adult, too, but not inexperienced as he is at age four) is hard to do and well done. Of course, this incident would haunt Sherlock when he's older.
The father is just an idiot to think his shenanigans wouldn't get passed on if he sleeps with the babysitter with the kids in the house, and an even bigger idiot to think he can cover up by claiming his child is lying. What a horrible guy! He doesn't even seem to think his four-year-old is yet a human being, let alone love him. His understanding of his son is on the level of someone trying to blame his gas on the dog.
The mother is not much better. Her trying to romance her usually absent husband with a formal dinner and nice clothes is okay behavior, but she's a lot more interested in not getting slighted by him than she is in protecting her son. She knows Sherlock doesn't lie but she doesn't know him well enough to know how badly his confusion about the situation will hurt him.
And Mycroft is just wonderful. One can forgive his snarky behavior to Sherlock when they're grownups remembering how he kept him from getting the belt here. That Mycroft is brusque with him after he puts him to bed is sad but forgiveable. He knows he's losing his dad to his dad's bad behavior.
| BeazyBops chapter 1 . 1/2/2014
Awww 4 year old Sherlock's so cute :-)
| Not A Ghost3 chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
Wow, I've never given much that to Sherlock's childhood, but that was a pretty powerful story!
Sherlock is so innocent in this story, and I like that. I know he's written as a toddler in this story and you did a great job writing him, he just seemed so realistic with all of his questions. And I can certainly see foreshadowing of is detective life, with all the details Sherlock paid attention to in this story.
Mycroft, I'm not too familiar with him so I can't give you much about him, but I will can certainly tell you that he was very well written. He seems like the average older brother to start out with, but I can sense that he does love Sherlock.
I think Sherlock's dad is real jerk! He isn't there half the time and then he strolls in saying that his son is a liar with no evidence! I think you handled the issue at hand very well. Overall, great job!
| RandomNumbers523156 chapter 1 . 10/23/2013
I must say that I’m finding really interesting those snippets of Sherlock’s childhood. I have to start watching soon, after I organize my schedule because your stories are really making me interested.
At first, I thought it was going to be more of a light-hearted stuff because it finally shows their father. So, the reason why he never appears is because he’s a diplomat, and a Sir, so he might be a very strict person.
I would never imagine that Sherlock’s innocent question could trigger this crisis. I mean, it was hinted that their family had problems, but now they come with full force. Mycroft even tried to argue for him, but it didn’t work. And knowing that View from a Window comes after this, it does show that ended in a divorce.
Little by little, Sherlock loses his innocence and starts to learn how the adult’s world works, it’s kind of sad. That was a very well-written oneshot, I guess I have no criticism, good work!
| Esther Huffleclaw chapter 1 . 9/9/2013
I love Mycroft so much here. The whole thing makes my heart hurt, but I really lost it when Mycroft stood up to his father to protect Sherlock.
The second paragraph implies that we are not in Sherlock’s POV, as the sentence, “Sherlock pronounced it "polly-gamey"- a sure-fire sign that he'd never heard the expression in real life and had read it somewhere” is not something he would know. Then, in the fifth paragraph, we are directly told Sherlock’s thoughts. Personally, I think a piece this short should stay in one POV, but that’s just my thoughts. Either way, maybe clarify whose POV the first few paragraphs are, so it’s not so jarring when the POV switches.
I found a couple of comma splices. For example, “I'm not going to calm down, tell me what he's talking about!” This is two complete sentences, and a comma isn’t strong enough to join them. A semicolon would work, though: “I'm not going to calm down; tell me what he's talking about!”
The ending made me tear up. The image of Mycroft sitting at the door, putting himself physically between his little brother and anything that might harm him is so incredibly poignant.
I loved this so much.
| Rainie Skyes chapter 1 . 9/2/2013
It wasn't Sherlock who upset Mummy! ;) I really like your take on young Sherlock, I could just picture him doing what he did. Poor baby. And the way you are continuing to develop the dynamic of the Holmes boys, just lovely.
And well done, Mycroft! Loved the whole 'this boy is under my protection' demonstration to his father, and the ' why must you do these things' irritation at Sherlock both at the same time. Very real that.
| magentacr chapter 1 . 8/26/2013
Aw. Things are really starting to develop.
I like how Sherlock is already learning as much as he can from books. And asking what the word polygamy means so young! Lol. I think I was probably about 12 when I discovered that one.
And the bit with the suits. Aww, Sherlock will learn to love the suits, though maybe not the tie ;)
Trust Sherlock not to let anything slip past him, and to point it out.
It was good of Mycroft to stand up for him, not letting him get punshed. And picking him up! I could see it in my head and it was so sweet. Although when he lost him temper at Sherlock it was sad.
I'm guessing a lot of Mycrofts behaviour is what you have deduced from that one bit in Scandal in Belgravia 'I'll be Mummy' 'and that is a whole childhood in a nutshell'. It's amazing how much you've pulled out of that, it actually makes more sense now :D
Loving your stories, you are an amazing writer.