|Reviews for Off Shift|
| Rennet chapter 1 . 7/30/2014
I can imagine, heh... poor Corr.
| LongLiveTheClones chapter 1 . 8/28/2013
Wow. Somehow I missed this one. I absolutely loved this story and the awkwardness that is so in character for Ordo and how he handles social situations.
It was so great to get inside Ordo's head for the whole story as he was conflicted between the mission and his growing feelings for Besany.
But, what also made the story such an enjoyable read were the vivid descriptions of Coruscant. You brought the city to life with the tastes Ordo was experiencing at the restaurant and then the sights and smells of the park. Really made the story so vivid and enjoyable.
Just an excellent piece of writing.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/19/2013
Ok, I'm still in the process of reading Triple Zero, and quite frankly I don't have all the details, but I LOVED THIS! Absolutely one of the best Ordo/Besany one shots I have ever seen! Keep continuing with them! You do a fantastic job!
| laloga chapter 1 . 2/21/2013
Poor Ordo, indeed, but at least we know it worked out for him later. ;)
Wonderful job with this piece. It's a complicated thing when you've got a relationship starting to develop between people who are using different identities, but I feel like you balanced out Ordo and "Corr" very well. And of course, that's a big part of the conflict that Ordo feels. I especially liked his thoughts about "robbing" Corr of his first kiss - it shows that Ordo is a really compassionate guy.
He's just starting to get to *know* Besany, and the more he learns about her, the more time he spends with her, the more he likes her. I really loved his doubts about his ability to carry out this mission, should it turn out that he has to kill her. It feels like this is the first time this problem has come up, his emotional attachment to a "target" getting in the way.
"Feelings were...messy." XD Yes, Ordo. They are. But they can be fun, too. ;)
The near-kiss was disappointing - not because of the writing or storytelling - but because I *wanted* them to kiss! :P But it makes sense that Ordo would be uncertain about such a thing, especially given the fact that Bez doesn't really *know* who he is. However, you made it up to us quite spectacularly with her tumble, and his timely rescue...and then a *real* kiss! Happy sigh...
This is a great telling of the beginnings of a relationship. It's clear that Ordo and Bez have a genuine connection from the start, and you did a wonderful job portraying their emotional states, Ordo's thoughts and doubts, as well as making me *really* want to visit this park on Corrie! :P It sounds lovely. :)
Awesome job! :D
| impoeia chapter 1 . 2/21/2013
I like this little insight into what might have happened during Ordo's time undercover, particularly because in the novels, we always get these hints of what Besany and Corr might have been doing, and that there was a friendship between them, but never any detail and that might have been fun. This, I think has some good examples of what Besany might have thought to do with Corr. The people-watching game is always fun, as is visiting parks. A very different occupation for a trooper.
That Besany would choose a game Ordo sometimes indulges in as well shows how much these two might have in common. And how they fall into a new game with naming the flowers shows that there is a more playful side to these two. Normally, all we see are their professional, no nonsense sides. The inclusion of Jilka made me laugh. Now there's a rather incongruous image. And Ordo should be afraid, Jilka would bite his head off.
In the moments before and during the kiss, I thought Ordo's struggle between his soldier and his male side was described really well. You nailed the fact that yes, Ordo is a lot more comfortable being the soldier, because that is what he knows best, even with Skirata's teachings. It stands to reason that the male part of him would make him uncomfortable and that the urges that come from having a beautiful woman in his arms would be unfamiliar. His constant reminders that he has to treat her like a suspect are both adorable and a little hapless. He is still such a teenager.
The end made me a little sad, that now there is this barrier between them. It makes me wonder how the story would have been different if Besany had been told the truth after these events. Intellectually, she probably would have understood the need for the charade, but she would have been hurt. But it ended on a note of hope and not only does that tie this OneShot back in with the canon, but it also leaves the reader with a nice, warm feeling. All is not lost!
| emjalen08 chapter 1 . 2/18/2013
Its always awesome to see some Ordo/Besany.
This piece made we want to laugh and yell at the characters at the same time. Here Besany is, being her sweet self- a fact made more frustrating because we know she's innocent- and poor Ordo has no idea how to handle his crush on her because, hey, he may have to shoot her.
It's such a tangled mess, but I could totally see it happening in the books.
*snickers* Ordo is a lot of things, but smooth ain't one of them. The piece he said about Jilka was hilarious- I imagine as anything *but* a dancer, lol.
*sighs* Such a sad but hopeful ending...it'd be really cool to a sequel to this where Besany *did* find out the man with her that night was Ordo, not Corr. I imagine that'd bring on such a mess of emotions for her...
A fun piece to read!
| DoubleEO chapter 1 . 2/18/2013
Aww, poor Ordo. And Besany. Haha, this was very cute!