|Reviews for Dear Ambassador Soval|
| DragonDawn84 chapter 27 . 6/12
Love this Story!
| einzel chapter 27 . 4/11
I almost wish this story was continued. I didn't want to stop reading. Rather interesting looking at this as back story to the years before the Enterprise and before Sarek became Ambassador
| septima.severa chapter 27 . 8/30/2014
Wow, this one was... long (I don't mind long stories, yet there are some objections I'll write about).
I usually don't read fanfiction, yet I find Ambassador Soval appealing. Maybe it's because of the pointy ears, but I'm not surprised that his sex-appeal is topic to enough fan-made stories so far.
Please, before I rise those few objections of mine, note that it was not so bad. I've seen worse, and actually quite enjoyed this one. But because I'm also a writer (although I don't write fanfiction) - and I do it for few years already, I think I can see some common made mistakes.
First thing of all: you use same words repeatedly, and I find it a little disturbing. The first rule of writing (essays or stories alike) is that when you want to express yourself, you can use synonyms etc. (my native language is Czech, yet English is rich language, too, and there are many dictionaries available also online - believe me, when you want to write something exquisitely, the background research takes a lot of time).
Second, admiral's daughter is supposed to be intelligent. Yet is she? Most of her questions seem to be just phrases any pubescent girl would ask. She does appear intelligent, though - in the beginning of your story. Then she turns out to be just a seventeen-year-old girl like any other. And believe me, I've seen those like her in college for four years. Not mentioning I was one of them once, too.
Third, it is maybe natural that her father nicknames her "pumpkin". Yet if I was to stand in front of father with fiancée, I'd surely would kill him. And wouldn't refer to him as "daddy", either. Although she's daughter of prominent people, because her father holds rank that high, it doesn't mean that every problem she faces would be solved with admiral's interference.
So it should at least take longer to persuade MACOs to dismiss her from duty.
Fourth, she behaves terribly. Her behaviour is highly illogical. She likes attention of the mass media, she savours it. But that doesn't sound like intelligent eighteen-year-old at all. She should be introvert - as you described her at first. Since when do introverts change so dramatically in six weeks of military training? Army will make miraculous change of personality, but it wouldn't be that sweet eighteen-year-old girl whom father still calls "pumpkin".
Most of writers-beginners, during creating their character, will mirror themselves in their literary children. I believe that admiral's daughter has the same - or similar - hobbies and interests as you do. And that her room reflects yours in some way. It always reflects something you see in your life. Yet as admiral's daughter, she should attend events where her parents do appear. And she should live in college dormitory.
In summary, your character should use logic but doesn't behave like it. She should be prematurely grown-up that one day decides to write to ambassador. and ambassador should find her unsuitable as a potential bondmate.
Another thing... Vulcans do use Federation Standard precisely. They surely know more phrases than you used - leaving aside the fact, that Soval's aide acts more like a human than Vulcan.
And last one, the assassination attempt is out of your story canon. You didn't mention it before it actually happened, so it looks just like an unnecessary padding. It is added to the fiction as something that has to prolong it - it seems so since it happens too fast. And assassinations are usually known to be planned. Reader should get a hint that something would happen - something that big as attempt to kill an ambassador.
Well, I hope that it's comprehensible. That I've made myself clear. And that I haven't offended you. Because critics, even negative, should give some point to person it's addressed to.
| Sabine The Impossible chapter 27 . 3/23/2014
I don't even know where to begin. I love your story so mucb, it's been an absolute pleasure - a shortlived one, yes - but still a very enjoyable experience. I have none but myself to blame that this passed so quickly, I could've just set limits as in a chapter a day. Of course though, knowing myself, I had to devour your story in a matter of a few hours. I am glad to have found a story featuring our dear ambassador Soval, for he is one of my favourite Star Trek characters and, naturally, my most beloved Vulcan. I love your style of writing and the way you intertwined a plot with the growing romance between Genie and Soval. I adored the way it started out very innocently, almost hesitantly, and evolved into something this substantial and all-encompassing. I am rambling now... I guess I wish I had a Vulcan man all to myself. Then again, who doesn't?
You portrayed Soval in such a believable manner that coming to the end now, it almost feels like losing a friend.
I hope Genie and Soval will have many happy years together and lead a fulfilling life.
Thank you for this amazing fan fiction and for the journey you took me on!
May you live long and prosper, friend.
| bina W chapter 27 . 8/1/2013
Hello. This was sweet. i I looked at your reviews. Will there be a sequel? And I cannot ever get enough of V'Las! That guy is so enchanting and alluring despite being such a liar, backstabber and manipulative Vulcan! I was hoping for more of V'Lok. That cool sehlat should get his own story! And was the unborn child in this story a boy or girl?
| Guest chapter 27 . 7/27/2013
Awww so sad ,it's the end loved it though.
I was laughing when he had to reread his letter
Seven times. Tha was great. Hope there's a second story to this.
| Darkbunnidnr chapter 27 . 7/27/2013
It's over... :(. Thank you for this story. Well done x
| escape5 chapter 27 . 7/26/2013
that can't be the end, what happened with sorak? hope there's a sequel.
| Megan chapter 27 . 7/26/2013
Please tell me you have a sequel in the works!? I wanna see what happens with this couple as they become parents :) Awesome story by the way!
| Ahlisha chapter 27 . 7/26/2013
| CoolGIRL2012 chapter 27 . 7/26/2013
Wow, I'm the first one to review this chapter. I think. Great story, I can't wait until the sequel
| maba7x chapter 26 . 7/26/2013
Please tell me L'Vok will get his own story!
| Caren Rose chapter 26 . 7/26/2013
Aaaaannnd, BAM! Gotcha!
I like this guy. Penis-man. He's got this sort of cocky attitude (oh, goodness, no pun intended, really!) and he knows how to intimidate to his intended end. He seems like a phenominal detective ... the epitome of control. Right from the beginning he's been into Gardner's personal space, intimdating him ... but he's cooperative and nice to McCauley ... so it's obvious he's not just always that way.
Ah, anyways, enough analysis! I love him :)
| Ahlisha chapter 26 . 7/25/2013
Hehe. Don't eat the meat, like don't drink the water.
Good two chapters.
A little intrigue, but something tells me, , it is not over. It ended quick, he was found too quick. A red hering perhaps? .I wonder if Gardener was a"patsy" for someone. A plan with in a plan with in a plan. Seems like the thriller spy movies.:)
A trial? Vulcans are fair, but Garner is in in trouble.
| bina W chapter 26 . 7/25/2013
Hello. This was good. I thought several chaps be4 that Gardner was the one who forged Genie's signature to do 2 yrs of MACO duty. But if Gardner was behind it...mostly likely it was one of his flunkies who did the illegal act 4 him. I like V'lok. He is so smooth and a verfy good liar when logic calls 4 it. Bina