|Reviews for Spice and Everything Nice|
| Arimadios chapter 1 . 2/23/2013
I am sick as a dog, and spewing snot from my nose with a major headache. So, Consider yourself warned. I probably won't be mister sunshine here. *Loud, miserable sniff and sigh.*
OKay, first segment: I don't really get the plot. It seems jumpy and dissonant. Bullet was a one shot, and this was supposed to be a continuation. Again, I'm fandom blind here, so, This may just be a me issue. But I'll be honest. This just seems like the depressed thoughts of a homicidal teenager with way too much emotional baggage and way too little sleep. If that's what you were aimming at with that segment, it's an A. If not? B-, because the writing is still good.
Section 2: While there was ... uhm... a lot - like a lot a lot - of Blatantly Japanese homoerotic foreplay words (Like, I was beginning to get the eyebrow raise for, 'Is this a futa doujin?') and I was getting a bit worried that it would decend into a teenage exploration session (Always Awkward.) You pulled it out and put it right back into Taiki's blood thirsty ways. I like the reference to the Dragon bit. (Though, I am so sick right now I'm reading between sneezes. And it's a bit hard for me to remember it, but I did, yay!)
I have to say, Taiki's inner tourmoil is... Entertaining at the least, funny at best. He plays ping pong with his OWN emotions. How's he supposed to react to the stresses of every day life as an adult? I feel for the poor kid.
Taiki's mom cares. Kind of interesting, considering she's been portrayed as Aloof, and treating her son like he's the Classic Japanese shut in who doesn't care about how he looks outside. It's kind of a scary dynamic. If you continue this, I'd worry about how that acctually turns out, come the end of the storylines.
I have a complaint. You have yet to truely descibe your locations in any way shape or form. It feels like they're crawling in the dark in the interrogation scene. It's just a peeve, but, I'm having a hard time watching the video inherent in all stories when every thing is Noir black and white with just spots and splashes of color and highlighted background walls. While it's good writing, the inherent movie is like a baaaaad french noir.
Ren and the others watching all of that was a bit creepy...
All in all: This was a creepy, angsty story, but you need more... background to it. It's just hard to read without the background and ongoing plotlines. It's a good read, it's just a hard slog. Having a sickness and headache doesn't help that, so, maybe that made it harder, but, It does seem kind of ... confusing at points.
Well written though. What you revealed of it seemed to be well thought out. Was a nice read.