|Reviews for Shattered Soul|
| Jessie chapter 62 . 3/16
Loved your story. Was a shame it wasn't finished
| Elven-in-name chapter 1 . 10/23/2016
Wow. Nice. But some things are not quite fit.
Like what is that brought Arria to Howe?
And Duncan is more compassionate than in the games. There, he saves people and makes them Wardens because it is conveniant to him.
And also doesn't give Grey Warden's chalice to just anyone. That's a care, too...
And calling a stranger, 'my apprentice'? Really?
And...thirty minutes? Yuck.
Ah, well. I liked this. And considering it was your first fic, it's quite good.
| Waela chapter 62 . 7/1/2016
I liked this story in the beginning but now I've completely lost interest. It just drags on and on and on. I may come back when it's complete, but for now... yeah. Sorry.
| Judy chapter 61 . 6/17/2016
| Melysande chapter 60 . 5/28/2016
I love Zevran and Alistair's friendship. That they would be friends always makes sense to me, despite Zevran's clear enjoyment of Alistair's discomfiture with discussions aorund *ahem* sex. Altho' maybe Alistair makes more of it now that he's experienced?
So tough for both of them and Flemeth's objectives are so well hidden, which has to worry Morrigan too.
| WolFang1011 chapter 8 . 5/14/2016
Well. six days I think is the right amount for a guy to start imagining a scenario beyond friendship, considering they're spending all their time together every day.
She so naish and kewt and hegshajshwkwodj
*clears throat* I like her.
I liked the conflict/resolution in this chapter. I thought things were going a bit too fast for Alistair and our fair Warden lady. But this adds variety. I like it.
Also, blushing Elissa reminds me of someone I know. I wonder who though...
| WolFang1011 chapter 7 . 5/14/2016
A few errors. Not more than a couple. I found this one though:
Maybe then you will live with your body - leave
Damn! Alistair is hardcore in this one! Shield bashing neck snapping action! It's good that he gets to let it out, at least part of it.
Elissa Cousland. I'll be looking forward to see how this one develops. I'll always have a soft spot for the Cousland Origin.
Howe. What's really infuriating that there are fucknuggets like that in this world, and most don't get a burning poker up the asshole and out of the mouth. Smell their insides burn. Son of a bitch.
| WolFang1011 chapter 6 . 5/14/2016
My main nitpick with this is the fact that Morrigan swears by the Maker. Morrigan isn't exactly fond of the Chantry, or the Maker for that matter. I don't think she even uses the guy's name, since using it would give him credence.
The forest segment I loved since there were feels. Like hatred and wrath, all lovely things. It established Arria's badassery too, if it hadn't been already. The bonding was cute.
The ending was pretty fitting, I think. The Warden's Oath was a nice touch in the game too.
| WolFang1011 chapter 5 . 5/14/2016
Well, look at Cailan landing a few hits of his own on our fair maiden! Oho, it would be so awkward if both brothers went for her. Burn, Theirins!
Alistair scores too, albeit with a solemn promise. I'd be very interested to see him do the Remigold, though. I have no doubt it'll be spectacular.
The ogre fight was pretty balanced. You did a good job of not making it one-sided. Poor soldier dude though.
I rather liked it. Onwards!
| WolFang1011 chapter 4 . 5/11/2016
Could've expanded more on the Joining bit, methinks. It felt rushed to me. Something to keep in mind for the editing.
I quite enjoyed the fight. I'm so used to writing technically correct and grounded fights that Arria's style was a welcome change. And good job, Alistair!
Damn. Did not see that coming with Fergus. Rest in peace, mate. Well at least he died without knowing what happens to his family.
| WolFang1011 chapter 3 . 5/11/2016
Alistair is definitely feeling it, I see. Poor sod. If he only knew what came afterwards.
That last assignment I rather like. I can see that changes are taking place already from the original plot. All the better.
"Oh really?" He involuntarily flinched as her felt her knee press gently to a very tender area of his body.
I am oddly turned on by that. I swear my love for strong, badass women will be the death of me.
| WolFang1011 chapter 2 . 5/9/2016
Ah, Ostagar. So many fond memories. It's good that you're using the game dialogue to fuel original dialogue. It's easier to do stuff that way, I've found.
There were a few errors. A proofreading session will expose the little buggers, I'm sure. I think I'll quite like Arria. She hawt, mhmm. Sass is always welcome. Heh.
| WolFang1011 chapter 1 . 5/8/2016
So since this is three years old and since you are looking to edit, I shan't concrit much on these older chapters.
Poor Couslands though. One's devastation brings the freedom of another. Ironic.
| Melysande chapter 58 . 5/1/2016
Everything? That he should be dead twice? This will take some time to work through I suspect. Time they don't have. And Mellia...hope Anders wakes up soon and has a solution.
| Melysande chapter 57 . 4/12/2016
A less tension filled chapter ending with some hope...at least both Arria and Alistair are alive; now only Mellia to worry about. Nice ending with the two of them together. Interesting note in the Grimoire...echoes of DAI Flemeth. Not there's just that pesky Archdemon...well after Haven and such.
Fascinated to see what the direct link to Fade will mean for Alistair...and when Morrigan will tell Arria.