|Reviews for Naruto: Perfect Shinobi|
| Guest chapter 13 . 6/9
Wait, so in the credits just now, you're saying that the entire universe just sprang out of an all powerful females beings vagina? The kind of f'ed up world do you live in.(No offense or any thing)
| Guest chapter 11 . 6/9
Naruto was training with sasori for two years so he would be eight and a half when he got back to konoha because he was six when sasori found him.
| NARUTO11 chapter 16 . 5/17
Update this it can't end here it must live on lol
| Kittens Kat chapter 16 . 7/9/2014
THIS STORY IS GREAT! THANK YOU!
| ghgh chapter 9 . 6/15/2014
| naruhinabelongtogether chapter 16 . 9/29/2013
wow make more there good storys
| God Of Cake chapter 7 . 8/13/2013
Ooooh Orochimaru has split personality? Interesting
| enigma1995 chapter 16 . 8/13/2013
I really like this story. While some people may not like a story with an OP Naruto in this one it does not matter because in unlike the other ones this is not about Naruto being God-like and OPing his enemies it's about Naruto, his humanity/faults, and his adventures. It is a really great story so please update soon!
| Thanathos chapter 16 . 8/12/2013
I was expecting a little more. I know I said taking ideas is alright, but you don't take a few ideas and then spin your own story, you basically cut my story into pieces and then set it back together with bits of pieces of (hopefully) your own ideas in, but you don't even pay attention to detail, at all. In your mix you have essentially two Orochimarus, why would a good one place a seal on Naruto that at that point had over 90% chance of killing the host, not to mention that it was impossible to tell how the Kyuubi, which had at the time barely settled in Naruto's body, would have reacted. Then there is that pathetic event in chapter 7. He trained dodging, speed and stamina with Sasori, he can water-walk, yet he has no better way to escape a mob than hiding behind a dumpster? Not to mention my mob only had the three shinobi, and Naruto shook the civilians, so there were only three to find him. Your mob contains a larger number of experienced shinobi, why where there only three that found Naruto, that makes no sense! And he doesn't even TRY to fight back? My Naruto was an untrained civilian, but your Sasori-trained Naruto has absolutely no excuse for that display.
And your need to spam DNA into Naruto has done away with half of what I built, CAUTION! We have a procedure that killed EVERYONE before Naruto, neither Orochimaru nor Kabuto would be stupid enough to say 'He survived one, so now let's try five at the same time!'
Next, chapter 8: It's not even sure Orochimaru HAD Suigetsu at the time, and even if he did, the Nidaime Mizukage WAS ALSO A HOUZUKI! There's no point in using Suigetsu if you have the Nidaime, there's nothing Suigetsu can give that the Nidaime can't. Additionally, changing into threads or paper requires the cells to transform, turning into water would require them to DISSOLVE! You wouldn't need Juugo, the act of turning into water would act to buffer the cell's mutations in the same way!
A groggy Naruto would have likely mentioned his knowledge of puppetry, not to mention that Sasori wouldn't have left Naruto illiterate. Not to mention when considering which abilities to train, you utterly forgot the abilities you added! Not only that, but the Sandaime Raikage would have to be the LAST sample, because it would be. How would Kabuto give Naruto the other injections if his body is TOO TOUGH FOR THE NEEDLE TO PENETRATE?!
Is your Naruto schizophrenic? Because he jumps from 'oh goodie, I get to make human puppets' to 'that poor guy'.
Chapter 9: There is no way Kabuto, Karin and Orochimaru would have missed the seal on Naruto's arm. They had MONTHS to thoroughly study everything, not to mention the fact that the numerous changes to Naruto would have ruined the seal.
Naruto's reaction to Hashirama is unrealistic. Your Naruto WANTED to make puppets, he wasn't forced to do something he considered defiling the dead. There is absolutely no basis for him to act shocked after what he did. And again, if he has the Third Raikage's body, there's no way he can cut himself with just a normal scalpel.
And take the Zetsu-change even better? Kabuto was talking about Naruto's emotional state, not his capabilities as a weapon! You warped the entire purpose of that note, it was meant to humanize Kabuto, show that he cares, and you instead did the opposite, making it look like he cares only about his research!
And why would Orochimaru note that it's just his right eye Naruto's goring? In my story it was because his left was normal, but your Naruto has two freak-eyes, he'd gore both!
And I'm not even going to start on that Orochimaru-junk.
Chapter 10: Your week-long Kyuubi-attack doesn't fit with Kyuubi noting he spent less than an hour in Konoha's barrier.
Chapter 11: Why would Orochimaru's name cause Naruto to feel loathing? He seemed to like his god-uncle well enough.
He wants information on the Sandaime Raikage, the Nidaime Tsuchikage and the Nidaime Mizukage? Why? He stated just above that aside from Itachi Uchiha, he doesn't know whose DNA was injected! Do you even read your chapters before posting them? And if Naruto still has the issues with his body, covering it with henge or genjutsu would have been the first thing he did, why hasn't he tried. Not to mention that the following journey-chapters are stupid in your story. My Naruto did it because he had no leads and was just randomly searching for clues, but yours has clues. He'd just have to think 'They had me learn puppetry and had a scroll teaching how to make human-puppets. Do I know anyone from whom this knowledge may have come from?' and gone straight to Sasori. Come on, Naruto is supposed to be intelligent, such a blunder makes no sense, not to mention that considering his relationship with Sasori Naruto would have been more likely to go to the puppet-master than to Sarutobi.
Chapter 12: And here comes the first issue with your changed eyes. I had one normal eye and one inhuman one, you have two abnormal eyes. When Kikikyoujin saw Naruto, he assumed he was like Ao, that the eye was implanted. With both eyes, he would simply believe Naruto a bloodline-user, and there would be no guarantee the eye would work as well for him.
Chapter 13: The premise of Naruto's addiction doesn't fit. MY Naruto was forced to build human-puppets, yours basically jumped up and down yelling 'Lemme at'em, lemme at'em!' Making the puppets wasn't an emotionally scarring experience for Naruto, thus he wouldn't go into his mind looking for emotional healing. It makes no sense!
Chapter 15: Congradulations, you turned Yugito, Samui and Karui into complete morons. In my fic Naruto wore a eye-patch, a tool commonly associated with damaged or missing eyes. Additionally he had one normal eye, while the other was gray and lacked an eyelid. When getting a glimpse at the right eye, all Karui noted was that it was gray, as if dead, and that the eyeball looked bloated, because she could see far more of the eyeball than the eyelids generally allow, hence she figured it was damaged somehow. In your fic Naruto has two blue Rinnegan-eyes. If a shinobi sees a normal and an odd eye, his first thought will be the eye is deformed. If he sees two odd eyes, his first thought will be 'Doujutsu!'. Also, if both eyes were like that , NARUTO WOULD BE BLIND! It should be obvious to Karui that he isn't, thus she would realize her theory can't be true! In addition, if Naruto puts his hand over both eyes, HE CAN'T SEE, thus he wouldn't even know where exactly Karui and his glasses are, which would make getting them back difficult. Not to mention the fact that shades have lenses, and in an onsen those lenses fog up from the steam, meaning Naruto wouldn't have been able to see anything through them after a few seconds! And glasses with seals on them would have immediately blown Naruto's cover as a civilian who happened to fall into the onsen from above, meaning the Kumo-nin would have been on edge. Seriously, do you even try to use logic in your story?
Naruto has his ten elemental-puppets, Hanzo and the Senju-brothers in the original story, making thirteen. You had another human-puppet, Toroi I believe, and at least two normal puppets, Shinigami and Kami, which makes sixteen copies. If you have to even steal the Author's Notes and alter them, can't you at least keep track of your own alterations?
When I said you could use my ideas, I expected you to take the first, maybe second chapter, then do your own story, not copy&paste whole chapters and slip minor changes in. I have plans, and put things to help those in my story, but you don't know my plans, so your parts contradict mine in your patchwork-story. Hell, you took gramatically correct sentences and only changed the grammar so that it's incorrect. And be honest, you have no idea waht to do with the gods, and other story-elements.
Also, one condition was to give credit where it was due, and you failed to mention in 16 chapters that you took ideas, most of your story so far, from me.
| Genokiller chapter 1 . 8/5/2013
I was gonna read this but after a few paragraphs I realized something. And that is your spelling and grammar suck I'd suggest a beta reader or someone to review your work to notice these thing cause I saw at least ten within the first couple paragraphs. I'm not trying to flame you but you'll get more readers if you fix your spelling and grammar.
| Esoulix'Anne-Louise chapter 1 . 5/31/2013
Please, just please. Get a beta, or go over your work before posting it.
| void242 chapter 16 . 5/20/2013
when naruto will meet with hinata?
| DemonOfThePlains chapter 16 . 5/18/2013
please read(should help you better your story)
not a bad story... though you did seem to keep jumping narutos age a bit? i mean sasori found him at 6 from what your said(i think?) and he returned to the village at age 8 you said(i am pretty sure of that) then kabuto took him at age 6 again? followed by it beeing about 2 and a half years before he returned to the village again? and was still 6? i think? i dont know...you need to make your story a bit more linear at the very least. (i reccomend going back and rewriting sections where you mention his age... have sasori find him right after he is kicked out of the orphanage and return at 6 years old then kabuto finds him like a week after he returns or something. followed by him returning at age 8. just changing that would help loads)
also didnt minato give permission for his and kushinas bodies to be turned into human puppets since he did ask orochimaru to train him and get him trained in that? i understand you had kushina survive but when naruto took his fathers memories he would have noticed that and followed through with it... most likely anyway...
aside from that this story is awesome... alot of people dont like godlike naruto stories but i find them to be a nice break from stories where he gets his ass handed to him all the time and barely pulls out wins against the weakest of opponents...
| firetemplar415 chapter 16 . 5/17/2013
Interesting story. Although I have no clue where story is heading now. Maybe its good.
| Anonymous chapter 8 . 5/17/2013
In chapter 8, you said his first human puppet. Were you talking from what Kabuto knows?