|Reviews for Why?|
| Kristi919 chapter 1 . 5/2
Soooooooo sad. ;( :( poor puck
| grimmgirl1 chapter 1 . 7/6/2014
Off with Nottingham's head
| lilcarellijohn chapter 1 . 3/14/2014
Loved it so sad though
| smartblueladybug chapter 1 . 6/22/2013
I think that you should make this longer. It was really good!
| Fangurl chapter 1 . 5/11/2013
I luv it! Great job! You could do a sequel (hint, hint). _
| Quicksilver72 chapter 1 . 2/21/2013
Hello! I am really interested in your story! Its really good, but the are some inor mistakes. For example: you switch from past tense to present tense. Bu other than that i think your story is awesome! Can you please write a sequel? Thank You!
| Curlscat chapter 1 . 2/21/2013
Hi! Here with your freindly 'welcome to the SG fandom' critique! Hope you don't mind.
First off: your summary is pretty good. 'Anyone' would probably work better than 'everyone,' but I can deal with it. Title's pretty good, only one in this category to have it, and it fits the story.
Now for the inside!
All right, HERE'S where we get some issues. You know that one giant paragraph doesn't make for much of a story, right? If you space it out into multiple paragraphs, it not only makes it look way longer (a good thing when you have a story that's only like three and a half hundred words), but it makes it easier for everyone to read. It gets kind of hard to track if you're reading eleven very long lines on a computer screen. That'd be like a twenty-three plus line paragraph in a book or report. Like this paragraph is kind of long so I'm going to end it now.
Another issue is that you switch tense all over the place. This story can either be happening now or already have happened. It can't be both at once unless it's time travel. That would be interesting, actually. But since this isn't about time travel, you have to stick with one tense.
There were some other minor mechanical issues, like the fact that 'firstplace' isn't one word, your spellcheck lying to you about 'Grimms' not being a word (Grimms means more than one Grimm. Grimm's means belonging to Grimm), and the wrong there (you used their) towards the end.
The fact that Sabrina took four daggers is kind of... impossible. It's a nice thought, but (have you read book nine? I'll assume you haven't. You should read it) it's not really going to happen. Once you get stabbed once, you're kind of down for the count.
I give you kudos for killing Sabrina. That happens so rarely I'm always happy to see it, which kind of makes me sound like a horrible person, but I like to see stories that don't fall into the realm of 'everyone has written this,' like school plays and plotless Puckabrina fics.
So, all in all, you need a lot of help with your mechanics and formatting (consider a Beta reader please?), but it's not the worst I've seen, and you have a good idea here. It just needs work.