|Reviews for Days of Indecision|
| Dracoromae chapter 15 . 7/23/2014
This story, my good man, is a work of art.
First of all, let me apologize; I put off reading your story for a long time because of the genre. I made a grave mistake in judging your book by its cover. I discovered immediately upon opening the link, however, that yours is one of the most well crafted and grammatically structurally sound stories this side of FanFiction has to offer. I personally am a fan of the expansive vocabulary you employ, and I know just how challenging finding the perfect word can be. Your grammar is nearly flawless, minus a few typos here and there, and your sentence structure flows smoothly.
As for your characters, I find myself immensely enjoying any scene with the White Wolves, especially when they're all together. You have done an excellent job in creating a rowdy pack of mercenaries that make the reader want to jump into their banter. You asked about Anareta specifically, and I must say that she's quickly growing on me. I personally enjoy reading whatever scenes in which she finds herself, mostly because she's still a bit of an enigma. I find myself reading ahead to find out what her next move is and find her interaction with the other characters, Spyro and Cynder especially, very intriguing.
I continue to become more and more impressed as your story continues. Keep up the good work!
As an afterthought, I'm sure you're very busy, but if you ever have a few free minutes I would greatly appreciate it if you would give my one, lonesome work on this site a quick read. It's a little oneshot off of Erin Hunter's Warriors series (my apologies if you've never read any of the canon books, as mine will probably make very little sense then). It's written in an experimental pseudo-stream of consciousness format that I decided to try out. It's titled Waning Storm and I would greatly appreciate any feedback.
Once again, keep up the good work!
| DigitalCore chapter 15 . 7/12/2014
Another chapter, another ten minutes well-spent. Keep up this quality and I'm positive this story well be propelled up into the ranks of the best Spyro fanfictions to date (Tears of an Oracle and the like)! There are a couple of times where you have repeated a word or used one unnecessarily, but the worldbuilding is so in-depth and the action scenes always have me on the edge of my seat, which more than makes up for them. If you don't have one already, maybe try getting a beta. It helps to have a second pair of eyes to scan over your work for any little blips, and generally they're good to bounce ideas off.
Other than that, I'm eager for more, and I hope to see another chapter soon!
| DragonMaster000 chapter 14 . 5/21/2014
Well, it was definitely a nice surprise to see another chapter of this story in my inbox. And quite a long one, too. All the better. I don't think you need to apologize for the wait when you deliver a chapter with this much content, and so many detailed battle scenes.
And of course it ends with a cliffhanger. XD My favourite writing tool, turned against me.
At any rate, I don't have too many comments to give on this one other than I thoroughly enjoyed the amount of action you filled it with, while still maintaining a high standard of imagery and description. The few typos that I noticed didn't take away from this at all as far as I was concerned, and all in all it was a very satisfying read.
One thing I wonder about is who the "Her" that Dyan referred to is (unless you already mentioned it and I simply forgot, which is very possible). There are still many unanswered questions to capture attention, which I applaud you for.
I also liked how you had Cynder take on a more tactical role in this chapter, which not only suits her backstory well but is different from a lot of Spyro fanfics that I've seen, which either have her at the front lines at all times alongside Spyro or as a damsel in distress character. I also thought it was a nice touch how you had Spyro so deeply affected by the deaths of the guardsmen. Like Dyan said in the opening of the chapter, he didn't suffer much on his path to being a hero so it makes complete sense that seeing the uglier side of war would get to him. Very believable, and well executed.
All in all excellent chapter, and I'll be waiting with anticipation, but patiently, for the next.
| Nathen The Protector chapter 12 . 4/28/2014
One question before I go on. Do you eat thesaurus for breakfast? And my favorite Wolf. Totally Anareta.
| Nathen The Protector chapter 5 . 4/27/2014
Wait a second. Is it just me or is this chapter very strange. You describe Dyan as human like. Yet Irres calls him father. Hmmm. Also one question. Isn't Morrigan some kind of goddess? I think i recall hearing the name in some mythology.
| DragonMaster000 chapter 13 . 12/21/2013
I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I really admire the way you handle character interactions. It goes into such detail, but it flows so naturally regardless of the situation that the characters are in. I find that it shows the versatility of your writing, where you can be crafting an intense battle scene in one chapter and in the next delving into the characters' lives while painting a vivid picture of their surroundings.
Speaking of the characters, I have to say I'm curious about what Anareta's up to. She's said that she has no interest in a relationship with Spyro, but she's clearly playing on his emotions in that area and I just can't figure out what she's trying to gain from it. I know there's SOMETHING she's after, since you've clearly made her out to be someone who always has her own agenda, but I'm clueless as to what that is in this instance. I guess I'll just have to wait and see. Mystery and intrigue abound.
Once again, my only critique is that the word repetition has made another slight appearance in this chapter (the example that stuck in my mind was the word "emotionless" when Hunter found Spyro and Anareta). Beyond that, though, incredible work and I can't wait for the next installment. I think it's about time I added this story to my Favourites list as well. :)
| Coppa-Cola chapter 13 . 12/17/2013
About what I think almost happened between Ana and Spyro: I thought she told Cynder that she wasn't interested in him like that?
| ProuDragoNight chapter 13 . 12/16/2013
This was an interesting chapter. Look forward the next chapter and keep the good work
| 3D-Element chapter 12 . 11/15/2013
Oh geez. School was killing me. Making an autobiography as a Draw My Life video was... interesting (and tedious).
I fully enjoyed watching my masterpiece(?) on the big screen; just like this new chapter that arrived in my inbox. :)
For some reason, I always post a review later than DragonMaster000 and he keeps stealing my thunder. :\
Ah well, so here goes nothing... I'll start off like this:
... So. Much. DETAIL. Man I wish I could write descriptive scenes like this for my essays. I could type pages of compliments in showering words to thank your vast imagery skills. Connecting them altogether would have stopped me from continuing but you have gone and done what I consider impossible, which is saying a lot.
The wolves definitely gave a new refreshment for the story. Tis a rare view was finally introduced that I longed to see. A few people attempted to develop these types of characters and huge potential was rising but unfortunately went into Oblivion. I got disappointed (they really tried to utilize the idea, however it lacked sheen and eventually became lackadaisical) but to see them appear once again showed signs of prospective transitions with new themes. I really hope people are inspired to write non-contemporary and original things.
I also admired your vision on the dragon cast to have that animalistic behavior and emotion, this really shows a significant difference between humanized ones. Such humanlike cases are especially present in many authors' technique of character buildup that keeps resurfacing as a bad habit. The traits give a distinct representation of their kind and how it will affect future events.
Compared to Viperwatcher's addicting but yet cliffhanger, comic-relief and complex social interaction style, you are more of the striking, creative, vividly-realistic, pioneering author. *Insert Volteer here*
The names were well suited for the personality of the characters. Very resourceful; I got stuck with generic ones.
Conclusion: The top-notch quality you always wrote and delivered ever since Chapter 1 upto now.
Whew. I'll stop for now but expect to see more wall of texts.
| DragonMaster000 chapter 12 . 11/14/2013
Well, there certainly isn't any shortage of action in this story, is there? I think this has been my favourite battle scene so far; a naval battle, in the sky! Certainly a thrilling chapter, and you still managed to insert some more character development into it as well, striking a nice balance between the two. I enjoyed it a lot.
The only thing that really jumped out at me in terms of critiques for this chapter was that there were a couple of parts where the wording was very repetitive, and it jarred me from the story a bit:
- "Regardless," Cynder continued, her tone returning to a gracious, dulcet tone.
- Cynder sought the same signs, the same clues, any evidence on Irres' part, and her mind slowly eased into a state of ease.
It's an easy thing to miss, but for whatever reason it just nags at me and brings the otherwise excellent writing quality down a bit.
As for the Wolves, still loving them. They're a very entertaining and interesting bunch, and their bantering is always fun to read. The only negative I really have to say about them is that because they were mainly all introduced in one big crowd, I've found recently that I often have trouble picturing many of the individual members when their names come up. There are the obvious exceptions like Maven and Anareta, who you've focussed more closely on, but the rest are a bit fuzzy in my mind. Possibly I just wasn't paying enough attention when you introduced them, but there it is.
The last thing I want to say in this wall of text, though, is that I very much like the fact that with the dragon characters you've given them a sort of ferocity, and I'd even say bloodlust at times during the battle scenes that I have rarely seen before. Most writers on the site, myself included, tend to humanize the dragon characters more and try and portray them with somewhat of an aversion to violence, but in this case it really reinforces the fact that they are, after all, very much predatory creatures and the nature you've given them in battle reflects that. It's one of the things that differentiates this story from the rest in my mind.
Great work, and looking forward as always to more.
| Coppa-Cola chapter 12 . 11/14/2013
I definitely enjoy the Wolves. They add diversity to a mostly one-sided cast. My favorite is probably Anaretta because she has a good back story, is a good fighter, and can be quite a vicious dragon when she wants to be.
| PenelopePurple12 chapter 12 . 11/14/2013
Yeah, the battle segments you write are pretty amazing. So much detail. Once again you impressed me with this chapter and I have a feeling you'll impress me again with many more :)
| ProuDragoNight chapter 11 . 10/24/2013
Great story so far I hope to read more:)
| 3D-Element chapter 9 . 8/27/2013
Tsk, tsk. Not so fast Mavenger, me mustn't rush things too quickly.
Although I usually prefer to dismiss TV-based shows when they start initiating the "let's slowly drag stuff out to keep them in our clutches" technique a lot of the program directors tend to use, this in particular is paced so well.
Wouldn't want this epic story to end so soon, now do we?
As for the latest review from me (late again, unfortunately) the originality is still preserved upto this point. I like that.
Riverstyxx pointed out on her profile the continuously used theme/scenario that's being used so frequently, its becoming clichéd. It tends to be incorporated towards a lot of 'novice' Spyro fanfics. This one isn't following the seemingly set standard of rules that most people usually follow.
Good to see some rising tensions to keep the story flowing too, not to mention the sudden turn of events. I think this is probably why a lot of people like Skyrim a lot to be honest (besides the open-world adventure and your freedom to do whatever you want).
No clichés, no predictable plot, just more awesomeness.
Haven't seen this combo breaker for a while.
Really enjoyed it. Can't thank you enough.
| DragonMaster000 chapter 10 . 8/22/2013
Ah, at last we get to see a confrontation against our main villain. And it was certainly an exciting one at that. I was sucked right into the action during that battle. The pacing of it was very well done, not dragging but still very well detailed and easy to picture.
The scene between Dyan and Ignitus was very, very intriguing also. The fact that Ignitus is (sorta, kinda, grudgingly) accepting of Dyan's plans, whatever they are, is something I didn't see coming at all. Well played.
And I liked that flashback too. I had a serious "Ooooooohh..." moment when reading that part. It was a very clever way of shedding some light on why the situation between Spyro and Cynder is the way it is. Again, well played.
As for critiques, unfortunately the typos have made another appearance. As a whole with the entire chapter it was hardly significant, but it did jar me slightly from the narrative here and there. I would go back and try to highlight some of them, but my computer battery is dying as I write this. XD
All in all, another very enjoyable chapter and I'm looking forward to the next. Also, how this only has 20 reviews by now is beyond me, but hopefully it will start getting the attention it deserves soon.