|Reviews for Concerning Hobbits|
| Nimrodel626 chapter 1 . 6/17/2014
This is great! You should write a short sequel where maybe Aragorn recognizes the hobbits in Bree, and Legolas at the CoE? Just a thought.
May the Valar guide your pen,
| Ari Kato chapter 1 . 11/2/2013
U cant write!
| Aria Breuer chapter 1 . 6/22/2013
Nice work with this one-shot. Well-written, and you managed to keep everyone in-character, which I didn't mind. I hardly noticed where you nearly failed to keep everyone in character, but that probably didn't matter much as the story flowed well on top of that.
I suppose this is one way Frodo could have met Aragorn and Legolas, even though they weren't fully acquainted until during the journey to Mordor.
This is a nice gap-filler story, though. Good work. Mind if I put this story in my hobbit community?
| OneGoldenSnitch chapter 1 . 6/10/2013
Beautiful! Absolutely loved it. Hope you can do more of this kind of fics because they are amazing. Good job!
| dreamflower02 chapter 1 . 4/15/2013
This is so very cute, and only the very slightest bit AU-in fact, it's not impossible to have happened in canon, even if a little unlikely (I think Frodo would have remembered if he'd encountered Aragorn and Legolas before). But everyone's quite in character! Well done!
Now this makes me want to see a follow-up, where Bilbo meets them again when he goes to Rivendell, and remembers them saving Frodo.
| Good Queen Vold chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
You wrote another Lord of the Rings fic! And while yes, you do stray from canon, you do it well enough and remain as faithful to Tolkien as possible, unlike (cough) most people in this fandom.
What I liked:
-Frodo! Legolas! Aragorn! Bilbo! Wee Merry! Nothing OOC and no OCs. An original idea. Generally clean grammar, minus a correction (see below) and a stray preposition at the end of a sentence.
-“Moss carpeted their trunks, and vines trailed down to lightly caress the ground. One of the trees had chips falling out of it where some large mouth had bitten down on it” – description like this is what was lacking in your Thorin-wee!Legolas fic, and I’m really happy to see some images of the setting here. “Moss carpeted their trunks” is a great line, by the way.
Shouldn’t Elfling be capitalised?
“Aragorn felt his heart grown still” – should be “grow still.”
As for what can be improved: more description. Your writing is a lot more succinct and much less flowery than mine is, and your syntax is not wrecked (mine is; I blame academia and a useless degree in old literature), so I don’t entirely know what to suggest and how to suggest it in terms of descriptive writing. Still, there are areas in your fic where you’ve passed over opportunities to help readers connect emotionally to the characters.
For instance, when Aragorn is carrying Frodo back after Frodo felt Legolas was being patronising to him, he just tries to hold back tears and ends up sniffling. Doesn’t do much for the reader; I have an idea of what Frodo’s thinking, but the few lines don’t really make it real, you know?
Also, in this bit – He found a hobbit whom he assumed to be Bilbo fretting and worrying, pacing back and forth. There were a group of other hobbits about, peering around worriedly and occasionally talking amongst themselves – words like ‘fretting’ and ‘worrying’ and ‘peering around worriedly’ are appropriate, and were good choices on your part, but they don’t exactly elaborate on the situation or give us an image of what’s happening. You are good at showing minor actions in writing (what characters are doing at what times; I struggle with this and either go overboard or else forget to do it at all, so props to you!). Being more detailed with concepts like ‘fretting’, for instance, and with delving a bit deeper with characters’ emotions and thoughts, could help.
“Bilbo was wringing his hands as he paced about the garden, his anxious eyes searching the edge of the great and looming forest that stretched, infinite as space, in the distance…” I just pulled that out of my arse, but I think something along those lines would be not only more compelling, but more vivid, too.
Anyways, I enjoyed reading this and look forward to your next LotR fic, should you write one. Please? My apologies if I am overstepping with any criticism xx
| LI7 chapter 1 . 2/28/2013
Absolutely lived this! :)
| AaylaKitofNiflheim chapter 1 . 2/26/2013
Yes, I have already read this. I still like it though. Cute and in character (I think, although I'm not an expert on Legolas).
| GoTeamSkipper chapter 1 . 2/26/2013
Aw, short sweet funny little book verse story! Very much enjoyed, Frodo was quiet adorable.
| Frodo's sister chapter 1 . 2/25/2013
I like this story. I like how Legolas and Aragorn cared for Frodo.
| bad mornings chapter 1 . 2/25/2013
this was really adorable and I really liked it. well done! (: