Reviews for Harry Potter and the Four Heirs
proftheories chapter 27 . 17h
In this chapter you have Harry list Crouch Sr as head of his department still, even though you had him shipped off to Azkaban back after Sirius' trial.

You also towards the end when they're going to visit the Queen have the Grangers saying they've never traveled by Floo before. However, you had Hermione specifically take them to Diagon Alley by floo to get their wands so that it didn't become common knowledge that the heirs could apparate.
Loisceles chapter 30 . 20h
I liked the story and the approach to politics that it takes. I only was left with the question about how was it that Severus Snape survived? Perhaps I missed the explanation somewhere? Anyway I enjoyed it very much, even though I kept changing Harry and the other three in my head from eleven years old to someone much older. It was a little weird, but fun. I now am thinking of all the work they'd had to do to change the wizarding world. Surely they'd still have to face many troubles, as people wouldn't just change from one day to another. Resistance is always a given.

Good writing.
DarcGM chapter 25 . 3/15
Boi if someone murdered my parents and put me in a horrible abusive household, and those people had a cult who did the same bad things...
I would kill every last one of them and feel little to none remorse. It’s their choice, and harry is frickin’ NINETEEN
silentfan9 chapter 30 . 3/13
very well made and quite entertaining, your ff held my attention throughout and had no grammar or spelling errors that knocked me out of the world you wove through your words, and while others may hate you for what they perceive as bashing i thought it went well with this and am even able to agree with it. and with my finishing of this work i now say bravo and good luck on your future works, may they be even greater then this one
DrunkenIdiot1701 chapter 30 . 3/13
A very gripping story, worthy of re-reading. I just wonder when will there be a sequel geared to relating how the Earls fare through the 7 years of education and beyond.
MrsH chapter 21 . 3/7
Are you perhaps from the Southern Hemisphere? I noticed a small error in this chapter - Harry says he was left on his aunt's doorstep in late spring. In Surrey, England, November is the very late fall, and temperatures are typically in the 6-10 degree Celsius range overnight.

Enjoying the story very much so far, and it's pretty well edited, so the slight error made me smile. (I live in the US, but spend half the year in NZ, so I always keep up with the seasons in both hemispheres.)
viningc chapter 29 . 2/23
The Four Heirs, Chapter 29:
1. "Prefect and how would become Head Boy" ADD "he"
"Prefect and how he would become Head Boy"

2. "suspend that student fore the" CHANGE "fore" to "for"
"suspend that student for the"

3. "many doses of Veratiserum rooting out" CHANGE "Veratiserum" to "Veritaserum" ( wiki/Veritaserum )
"many doses of Veritaserum rooting out"

4. "conception of twelty-five percent over" CHANGE "twelty" to "twenty"
"conception of twenty-five percent over"

5. "former a were a great" ADD SPACE, DELETE "a"
"former Minister. As were a great"

6. "Finite Incantem!" CHANGE "Incatem" to "Incantatem" ( wiki/Finite_Incantatem )
"Finite Incantatem!"
viningc chapter 28 . 2/23
The Four Heirs, Chapter 28:
1. "his robes changed to red acromantulan silk" CHANGE "acromantulan" to "Acromantula"
"his robes changed to red acromantula silk"

2. "His robes changed to purple acromantulan silk" CHANGE "acromantulan" to "Acromantula" X2
"His robes changed to purple acromantula silk"

3. "flipped open her communicator and said a few words."
I had a sudden flash of Star Trek memory when I read that. It took me a while to relize that Harry must have used folding mirrors. Still, wouldn't it be better to, at least the first time you mention this usage, to specifically mention the mirror that Harry had given her? Perhaps ...
"flipped open her communication mirror that Harry had given her and said a few words."

4. "returned from Saint Mungo'swhere" ADD SPACE
"returned from Saint Mungo's where"

5. "It seem Lor... sorry, Mister Mulciber" ADD "s"
"It seems Lor... sorry, Mister Mulciber"
viningc chapter 27 . 2/23
The Four Heirs, Chapter 27:
1. “skidded to a halt alongside his honoraryuncle and” ADD SPACE
“skidded to a halt alongside his honorary uncle and”

2. “just watched. Headmistress McGonagallsat with her” ADD SPACE
“just watched. Headmistress McGonagall sat with her”

3. “appointment at Saint Mungo'searly this” ADD SPACE
“appointment at Saint Mungo's early this”
viningc chapter 26 . 2/23
The Four Heirs, Chapter 26:
1. “report from Azkaban infirming us” CHANGE “informing” to “informing”
“report from Azkaban informing us”

2. "emergency portkey to Saint Mungo'sor here" ADD SPACE
"emergency portkey to Saint Mungo's or here"

3. "come to Saint Mungo'sso we" ADD SPACE
"come to Saint Mungo's so we"
viningc chapter 25 . 2/23
The Four Heirs, Chapter 25
1. “though he was loath to hideanything, eventually“ ADD SPACE
“though he was loath to hide anything, eventually”

2. “prankers” Perhaps change all to “pranksters”?

3. “Sitting up the back” ADD in”
“Sitting up in the back”

4. "beside the doors leading in to the Hall." REMOVE SPACE
"beside the doors leading into the Hall."

5. "Stilling looking over to where the heirs and Grangers" CHANGE "Stilling" to "Still"
"Still looking over to where the heirs and Grangers"

6. "said Harry in best impersonation of Dumbledore" ADD "his"
"said Harry in his best impersonation of Dumbledore"
Guest chapter 30 . 2/21
viningc chapter 23 . 2/23
The Four Heirs, Chapter 23:
1. "Governors with its original membershipand demand" ADD SPACE
"Governors with its original membership and demand"

2. "a giant nest of acromantulans, with" CHANGE "acromantulans" to "acromantulas"
"a giant nest of acromantulas, with"

3. "Take these to the owleryand have" ADD SPACE
"Take these to the owlery and have"

4. "after the prank Harry pulled one on his godfather" DELETE "one"
"after the prank Harry pulled on his godfather"

5. "some of which was a very large nest of acromantulans." CHANGE "acromantulans" to "acromantulas"
"some of which was a very large nest of acromantulas."

6. "Professor McGonagallnodded. But Harry could see" ADD SPACE
"Professor McGonagall nodded. But Harry could see"

7. "Trelawney, when he was interviewing her for" CHANGE "he" to "she", "her" to "here"
"Trelawney, when she was interviewing here for"

8. "Professors McGonagalland Flitwick" ADD SPACE
"Professors McGonagall and Flitwick"
viningc chapter 22 . 2/22
The Four Heirs, Chapter 22:
1. "but Professor McGonagallwas in the middle" ADD SPACE
"but Professor McGonagall was in the middle"

2. "One of others, Tracey Davis" ADD "the"
"One of the others, Tracey Davis"

3. "Nothing but headshakes except Daphne." ADD SPACE
"Nothing but head shakes except Daphne."

4. "though Hermioine did scold him a little about it." CHANGE "Hermioine" to "Hermione"
"though Hermione did scold him a little about it."

5. "They gave him a little bit of curry, for his trouble." Sorry, I don't understand this. Is it Australian slang?

6. "And, as Professor McGonagallis currently" ADD SPACE
"And, as Professor McGonagall is currently"

7. "to acquaint yourselves on the lesson plans" CHANGE "on" to "with"
"to acquaint yourselves with the lesson plans"

8. "The three wannabe Maraudersgrinned back" ADD SPACE
"The three wannabe Marauders grinned back"

9. "aurors had eradicated the giant acromantulan nest" CHANGE "acromantulan" to "acromantula"
"aurors had eradicated the giant acromantula nest"

10. "Professor McGonagalldid the same for the head table" ADD SPACE
"Professor McGonagall did the same for the head table"

11. "Professor McGonagallwas now sitting at the foot of the Gryffindor table." ADD SPACE
"Professor McGonagall was now sitting at the foot of the Gryffindor table."

12. "Harry ignore the man only gruffly directing him to take seat." ADD "a"
"Harry ignore the man only gruffly directing him to take a seat."

13. "turning an interesting shade of puceas he" ADD SPACE
"turning an interesting shade of puce as he"
viningc chapter 21 . 2/22
The Four Heirs:
1. '"Yes, Lord Slytherin," replied McGonagallfirmly.' ADD SPACE
'"Yes, Lord Slytherin," replied McGonagall firmly.'

2. "for them to have a bit of a look-see,when they" ADD SPACE
"for them to have a bit of a look-see, when they"

3. "Professor McGonagallthought about it for a few moments" ADD SPACE
"Professor McGonagall thought about it for a few moments"

4. "Professor McGonagallhesitated a moment, but nodded." ADD SPACE
"Professor McGonagall hesitated a moment, but nodded."

5. "Frowning Professor McGonagallsaid" ADD SPACE
"Frowning Professor McGonagall said"

6. "He turned to McGonagalland asked" ADD SPACE
"He turned to McGonagall and asked"

7. "McGonagalljust shook her head." ADD SPACE
"McGonagall just shook her head."

8. "McGonagallfrowned even deeper. Then she sighed" ADD SPACE
"McGonagall frowned even deeper. Then she sighed"

9. "he said indicating looked at Amelia" ADD SPACE
"he said indicating McGonagall. He looked at Amelia"

10. "sent to stand with McGonagalland Pomfrey" ADD SPACE
"sent to stand with McGonagall and Pomfrey"

11. "but it's more of a... attitude adjustment" CHANGE "a" to "an"
"but it's more of an... attitude adjustment"

12. "Snape and McGonagallwere sitting right up" ADD SPACE
"Snape and McGonagall were sitting right up"

13. "The medi-witches then hit him with a sleeping draught." CHANGE "hit" to "gave", DELETE "with"
"The medi-witches then gave him a sleeping draught.

14. "Moving around to McGonagall'sbed, Harry said" ADD SPACE
"Moving around to McGonagall's bed, Harry said"

15. "McGonagalllooked right back with fire in her eyes" ADD SPACE
"McGonagall looked right back with fire in her eyes"

16. "McGonagallslowly relaxed and just laid there sobbing" ADD SPACE
"McGonagall slowly relaxed and just laid there sobbing"

17. "After checking on Professor McGonagallhimself, the Master Healer" ADD SPACE
"After checking on Professor McGonagall himself, the Master Healer"

18. "there's a significant acromantulan nest" CHANGE "acromantulan" to "acromantula"
"there's a significant acromantula nest"

19. "Acromantulans, hundreds of them, less than a mile" CHANGE "Acromantulans" to "Acromantulas" ( wiki/Acromantula )
"Acromantulas, hundreds of them, less than a mile"

20. "Quirrell and Professor McGonagallhad set" ADD SPACE
"Quirrell and Professor McGonagall had set"

21. "Acting Headmistress McGonagallhas already given" ADD SPACE
"Acting Headmistress McGonagall has already given"
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