|Reviews for My home is gone, but I'll help get yours back if I can|
| Missreadstoomuch chapter 26 . 10/24/2016
Great job. This was a wonderful job. I loved the scene at the beginning with Gloin, Oin, and Dori basically hitting each other, it was very amusing. And I found the part that was from Balin's point of view interesting. I admit i'm feeling a bit sorry for him now. It looks like he has a really big obstacle to get over if he wants to make things right with her and maybe start to earn her trust. And I get the feeling it won't be easy for him cause unfortunately the comment he made back in Rivendell about not wanting to hear about her home cause it depressed him really hurt her and unfortunately stuck with her. And now it seems as a result of it she really doesn't seem to want to talk to him about anything and apparently can't talk to her without her misunderstanding him.
I'm wondering if part of why she has a hard time getting past that comment is cause in someway it felt like a personal attack. I'm wondering if in a way she sort of subconsciously saw his comment as meaning you depress me. Unfortunately it seems like personal attacks, whether they were meant to be that or not, stick with you and are very hard to get past. So I have a hint that Balin is going to be dealing with misunderstandings and distrust from her for a while cause she's the one who has to get past that hurt.
The part from Balin's point of view made me wonder some other things as well. Like it makes me wonder if she struggles a bit, or maybe more than a bit, with receiving kindness. But one of the biggest things it made me wonder is how does she see herself. The part where she called herself an expendable really stood out to me. Maybe i'm wrong but i'm wondering if this is how she really sees herself and if so I hope as this story goes on she starts to see herself differently. In a positive way.
And I loved the part where Bifur gave her the present it was really cute. I do have to admit the part where she was talking to herself and Nori was watching her did make me a little nervous cause I've seen some comments about you I think originally having her have the virus that makes people crazy in her world. But at the same point I think she's trying to come to terms with the situation she's currently in and that she actually may be stuck in middle earth. I guess i'll have to see. And I loved the conversation between her and Nori. It was nice having him open up a bit in this section. I thought the part in their conversation where she tells him he's in a new season in his life was very interesting cause i'm wondering if without realizing it she's talking about herself since what she said to him in that part applies quite a bit to her. And I loved when he asked her questions in front of everyone to get everyone more curious about her. Maybe that'll get the others to start talking to her more which might help them earn her trust. Also I thought Gloin was kind of adorable towards the end when he seemed troubled by how long her dad was gone.
But altogether it was a great chapter. I think sometime back you mentioned wanting suggestions on how to make your story more funny. Maybe you might want to keep the bickering and bantering between the characters in there, as long as it's relatively light hearted. Cause I thought the funniest parts were when Gloin, Oin and Dori were having their arguments and the bickering between Nori and Dwalin. But keep up the wonderful job. I look forward to seeing the next chapter. Have a nice evening.:)
| IvyWinter chapter 26 . 10/24/2016
I'm glad that we get to see the company beginning to accept Alicia. And I can't wait for the next chapter! I do have a question though... are we ever going to find out what was the deal with Nori and the book that he was reading? I'm just curious to see why Nori got so upset when Bofur brought it up.
| Silversun XD chapter 26 . 10/24/2016
| Missreadstoomuch chapter 25 . 10/5/2016
Good chapter. I liked it. I admit i'm a little surprised and amused to find out Balin was a ladies man back when he was younger. With the way he looks you wouldn't expect that from him. So it's amusing. It also looks like he really realizes he has some stuff to make up for when it comes to Alicia and I like the fact that he seems to want to do so. I also like that he's figured out that he, and honestly half of the company in general, are gonna need to prove to her that she can trust them.
I felt sorry for Alicia in this chapter for a few seconds. It seems like it's becoming a bit of a common occurrence for her to end up seeing at least one of the dwarves naked. She really might want to consider keeping some clothes on when she takes a bath. And I thought Dwalin's reaction to her having a six pack was pretty funny. And he really had no room to talk to her about minding her manners. He didn't seem to be minding his so much.
But I loved Dwalin in this. Particularly with how he was getting on her to let someone know the next time she's in trouble. I particularly liked the part where he told her to "quit acting like she was all alone and start acting like" she "had friends again". I'm not sure why but I get the feeling that Dwalin, and at least three quarters if not all the company cares about her to some degree. And I hope she does take that piece of advice Dwalin gave her. I imagine it won't be easy at first, cause she still seems to be working through trust issues when it comes to the company, but I hope with time she can do that cause the company does show her they consider her as a friend.
But it was a great chapter. I know this is your story and I look forward to whatever you do with it but I admit it might be cool to do a chapter like this from mainly Fili's or Kili's perspective at some point. I mean it might be interesting since Fili, Kili, and Balin are the ones who stand out the most as having hurt Alicia. It might be interesting to try that to show how they see her now, and maybe even give a bit of reasoning behind why they treated her the way they did.
But like I said it was a wonderful chapter. Keep up the great work and I look forward to your next chapter. Have a nice evening.:)
| kitcat12 chapter 25 . 9/27/2016
This was a very good chapter. It was a very good balance between humor, and seriousness when it needed it.
I loved the Alicia and Dwalin conversation, and him and Balin teasing one another.
| Silversun XD chapter 25 . 9/26/2016
| Missreadstoomuch chapter 24 . 9/15/2016
Nice chapter. Both were very good. Wow those boys really creative with there pranks. It was definitely fun picturing what they did to Balin and Dwalin. Although I was a bit surprised to see they even did something to Thorin. He was honestly the one person I was thinking they wouldn't do that to. So they're either very brave, or very crazy. But I loved this part. I also enjoyed Alicia in the previous chapter telling about all those book and movie characters here. I would say if you want to continue adding funny parts maybe just continue to add little moments like these. Or maybe see if you can add some funny parts into the dialogue. I admit these last two chapters have me hoping that the boys are maybe trying to make a bit more of an effort to be nicer to Alicia. I guess i'll have to see. But keep up the wonderful job. I look forward to the next chapter and hope you have a great week. And congratulations on the new job.:)
| xSiriuslyPadfoot chapter 24 . 9/13/2016
I actually like the fact that you based the Zombies off of the Left 4 Dead video game characters- I'm the guest that left that review, I thought I was signed in lol.
Really great chapter! I love that you chose Captain Jack Sparrow as Nori's character.
I hope there will be more Alicia and Company (Nori) interactions. Along with Ori, I love him, he's too adorable!
| Silversun XD chapter 24 . 9/13/2016
Oh, what about Alicia? Is she not going to bathe or when in another part of the river?
Love the chapter!
| Guest chapter 23 . 9/6/2016
Great chapter! I'm so happy you updated.
Sorry I didn't get a chance to leave a review on the last chapter.
Also, did you describe Alicia's Zoombies as the ones from the Left 4 Dead video game?
| xXxBadassAngelxXx chapter 23 . 8/24/2016
Hey! Sorry again for this, I know it's a late response.. but don't worry- If you think I haven't been catching up with this story, no need to worry. I've made sure to catch up whenever I'd have the time, just haven't had the proper time to respond back until now :( :). You poor thing T-T. It's adorable how you ask your readers for help - _! You know, I really don't mind where the story goes or who she ends up with but if there's one thing I'd like to not change, it's Alicia's desire to go back home.
I think that's the one thing I have ever been able to relate to because I know for sure that if it were me in her shoes, no matter how 'better' or more 'safer' or more 'beautiful' the other world is, I'd still want to go back to my home-world. I'm not the type of person to cast aside my loyalty to my family/friends/loved ones and to the place I was born to for superficial reasons. And you know, you would think that Dwarves being "loyal to a fault" they'd understand what's that like, considering they are on a dangerous quest to retrieve their homeland so they aren't the ones to talk xP. I'm used to reading other stories where the main oc decides to live in another world they weren't born to because they think or know that in some or many ways the world they ended up in is better than the one they were born to. Which personally to me, it isn't bad just a little superficial so it gets hard to relate to most other oc's.
I really love fact that you added in the little quote by Jack Sparrow. And you don't know how it makes me happy to see how Alicia relates to that too. Personally, I like how different that makes your OC and your story to most other fanfics that I've ever read. It's a trait that's unique to Alicia and to this story. Wherever Alicia goes, whatever she does, whoever she ends up with, I just hope you don't make her forget what her initial plans and desires were- which is to get back home (which I'm also sure is gonna end up in heartbreak if Alicia does continue to follow that :( ). Hoping that makes some sense o_O, sorry if it's a little long and confusing x'].
Anyway, I know that's probably not what you were looking for but I figured with everyone else already posting what they'd like to see then maybe I needed to post something slightly different. Hoped it helped even a little :)).
| IvyWinter chapter 23 . 8/21/2016
Hey! I love this story and the originality of it. I also love how you add things that weren't in the movie or the book. It's a good change from knowing what's going to happen next. I also love the relationships that Alicia has with the different characters. All in all I personally love this story and it's one that I come back to read whenever I'm bored.
| Lalaithiel chapter 23 . 8/3/2016
You know I have read your story from when you started it and to this day I become so excited when I see an update... I'll forgive you this time lol! Well, I want to see some family bonding, I know you took A TON of that huddle by the first stuff out and I am sad that you did. The Crazy Virus is something I want to see. And I also want a little romance with Alicia and Thorin. I have been rooting for them in the beginning. I really can not see her with anyone else. They connect on a deeper level I will be so devastated if they don't end up together. Please don't rewrite it again! This is such a unique story and it's one of my favorites I've read.
| Silversun XD chapter 23 . 8/4/2016
Hm, hard to decide, you could follow the movie a bit more and if or when Alicia gets near her destination, throw in some zombies and the like from her world. I mean if she was able to get to MiddleEarth by falling through a hole, whose to say that a few straggalurs of brain eaters didnt stumble through as well along the road she is following? Maybe some of her friends or dog were tracking her as to where she went and followed the road and met up with the company or something while slaying some rotting flesh or skeletons.
I mean, there r some possibilities to that idea and so on and so forth, but is she going through the misty mt to get to her destination? What is she really feeling about her change of land and customs. Or she could get some interaction with the company more, have them really try to understand her, have some questions randomly thrown at her from Bilbo or the princes withe elder members listening in (not really all that obvious but still noticable kind of-) stealthly They dont really know all that much about her other than the bits and peices of her life in the zombie apocalypse.
Personally, i like chapters to be greater than a thousand words by the very least. Really long chapters r awesome but time consuming and could lose a sense of the story line if waiting too long. Short chapters vary with length, determination on update frequency, and patience of the readers who want to know too quickly. It actually up to you to balance that out to where its good for you AND your readers.
| Missreadstoomuch chapter 23 . 8/3/2016
Well usually i'm fine with going on whatever journey the writer wants to take the audience on. However i'm curious what response did you get back on the idea you asked for impute on a couple chapters ago. Because like I said i'm usually good with just seeing where the writer wants to go with the story. But I do admit that idea was quite interesting if you were still contemplaiting it.
I think something that will definitely be interesting to see will be when the company gets to the misty mountains. Gandalf will be with them so i'm curious to see what kind of changes that could cause. I guess i'd also like to continue to see you developing the characters and their relationships.
I like seeing how you're giving the dwarves who weren't so much in the forefront of the story or movie more attention. I really liked how the last chapter the start of it was from Bomburs point of view. Maybe it might not be such a bad idea to continue to get some different points of view in there. Like I'd love to see more from Bombur's point of view. I'd also really love to see something from Nori's point of view. That would be interesting cause it might give you an idea what he's thinking which would be interesting considering how much he tends to keep to himself. Maybe some other points of view that you might want to consider are Dwalin, Thorin, Bifur, and Fili and Kili. I think it would definitely be cool to see things from Bifurs eyes. And maybe something you might want to show with Kili and Fili, if they're still gonna be as mean to Alicia as they have been, is the reasoning behind it, if there was a specific reason. Maybe Gandalf would be another point of view you might want to try.
I would say the biggest thing in your story that's caught my attention is the characters and the relationships and some of the interaction between the characters. Like I love the way you write Nori. He's very amusing and I find him very likable, even though he can be irritating at times. And I love the way Alicia interacts with Ori, Dori, and Oin and Nori.
Even if Alicia didn't have a romantic interest I would like to see how her relationships progress. Admitedly i'd particularly be interested to see how her relationships with Nori and Thorin progress cause I can see both of them being good friends for her in different ways and her being a good friend for them in different ways. Like her and Nori seem to have a relatively good, relaxed, comfortable relationship where they both seem to mesh well. I admit I also like how he's starting to talk about God with her. And I like her current friendship with Thorin and the way it could potentially progress. I like how she gets him to lighten up a bit and i'm hoping that throughout your story she'll help him do better at doing that a bit more. So I guess i'd just like to see where you take her relationships with them.
And I admit i'm curious to see if there's anyway possible Fili, Kili, and Balin could get her to consider giving them another chance, if they wanted one. I personally like the long chapters.
But personally I think your story's going just fine. So I would just sugjest to take it in whatever direction you want to. But keep up the wonderful job and I look forward to the next chapter. Have a great evening.:)