|Reviews for La Tormenta|
| A Devil May Cry but we learn chapter 16 . 7/14
Sappy cliche in the love and I'm broken part
| Guest chapter 23 . 5/15
I love how you used sex as a means to personify the wrongness of the situation, a plot point that is not often explored by writers. Love it, keep up the good work
| tanithlipsky chapter 32 . 5/11
| nickclause chapter 32 . 5/8
| majorshane chapter 17 . 4/23
I freaking love this story and am re reading it for like the 5th time. I decided to take a moment and answer your question in the notes of this chapter. I found this story because it was recomended by Lanky Nathan in his story: A New World, The Story Of A Lost Shinobi. I do feel like your summary could be improved. It does a great job summarizing the setup, but it doesn’t leave you wanting more or wondering what happened. It actually answers the question posed in the setup (the worldtraped in an illusion! What happens next? He fails. Oh, that answered my question) If you added one more line after ‘He failed.’ like: Can he build a new life and learn to love again with the mages of Fairy Tail OR in the land of Fiore? That question might entice people to check it out... Hope that helps!
| MyAssForYou chapter 32 . 4/2
Ass. Hole. I can't believe how bad you are at keeping things constant. I hate you for destroying your own story like this. I'm glad you've stopped updating this because frankly you are one stupid motherfucker. The first fourteen or so chapters were fucking epic. Then you pulled that shit on chapter fifteen and made me ingnore this fic for over a year or so before I started to read it again. But then you ruined it with the shit you pulled with edolas. I can see why you wrote Naruto as a contradictory masochist because you are coming off as one too. And to top it all off you've destroyed the one arc where you could've redeemed everything.
| Meddlesome Guy chapter 4 . 2/12
Madara will not risk following him in this Earthland as he doesn't have any idea of how to use time-travel jutsu.
I will not buy bullshit reason like "Naruto wants to start anew in this new world and so change his name to remove anything from his past", because if that is true then why the fuck would he name his new fox companion as "Kurama".
You changing Naruto as Rafaga is pure nonsense, not to mention his new name is ridiculous af.
| Meddlesome Guy chapter 3 . 2/12
I cannot see any relevant reason to change Naruto's name to Rafaga whatever and then at third POV you'd refer him as Naruto. Kinda stupid thing to do, don't ya think?
| CruelRuin chapter 14 . 1/3
Wow, this entire fic reads like a fourth-rate Linkin Park song.
| Agent Frank Underwood chapter 32 . 12/19/2017
It's been a while since you've uploaded but i am fairly certain you haven't abandoned this story. I have my issues with it but it's still a good story that reminds me of why I liked Fairy tail in the past.
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 32 . 12/17/2017
Another very interesting chapter. I’m quite curious to see who’ve you’ve got playing Zeref and this Zelivo guy. Seems plausible one or both are from the elemental nations though I guess that’s a little far fetched.
As far as a review for the entire story goes, aside from my issue with the way you did the phantom lord arc, I think this story has been extremely well done. I really like your characters (Natsu/Gray/Carla aside), and while the plot is following cannon, it’s been well done and the changes have been interesting. I know you were questioning why people were hating on your Natsu/gray/Carla, and well, for me, it’s because you’ve basically changed the world of Fairy Tail to be gritty and more realistic, while keeping Natsu and Gray as shonen action hero’s. They don’t really fit and just seem childish and idiotic and a general pain in the ass. Which is probably the role they were meant to play here, but still. And as for Carla, well, you’ve basically written her to be super bitchy, so it’s not really a surprise her character isn’t well liked.
Anyway, judging from your author notes, it seems you’ve rapidly been losing interest in Fairy Tail, which I guess explains the year and a half lull since the last update. That or life has gotten you busy. Still, would be a shame to stop writing here, especially as it seems everything is finally coming to a head. Well, assuming you don’t do the whole time skip nonsense and just wrap things up.
Doubt an update is incoming, but you never know. The holidays/new year do seem to spur some authors to update, so I’ll remain hopeful.l you’ve got something in the works.
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 31 . 12/17/2017
Fantastic chapter, really loved the quick brutal comeback on Naruto’s part. Seems like things are picking up again.
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 15 . 12/17/2017
This chapter was a huge breath of fresh air, really made up for how the phantom lord arc ended. Was seriously well written too, really liked all the introspection. Thanks for this.
Still think you’re heavily downplaying naruto’s ability with the Hirashin but can overlook that.
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 12 . 12/16/2017
I can understand Naruto leaving Fairy Tail for plot reasons. I can understand Naruto lying to Mira for plot reasons (even if that trope has been done to death, whatever). But that angsty speach from the Naruto clone to Mira and co was, well, awful. Seriously, it was just angst for the sake of angst. You already gave a better reason for Naruto to leave. Once it becomes common knowledge that he is Maelstrom, Fairy Tail members would potentially be targeted by dark guilds as revenge. If he publically leaves, he stops that from happening. And then he wouldn’t even need to pull the “I don’t really care for you even though I actually do” jackass routine that only gets written for the sake of cheap angst. He also didn’t need to be so cryptic in his explanation about why he didn’t tell anyone about Lysandra. No reason to be cryptic if he’s putting all the chips in the table and has made up his mind to leave. Angst for the sake of angst...sigh. Get so annoyed when this shit pops up in an otherise good story. Doesn’t add anything of worth.
Also, as much as I respect the fact that Jose was a wizard saint, there’s no way he lasts more than ten seconds against Naruto in sage mode with multiple clone backup when they all have access to the flying thunder god technique... I mean seriously. Might as well call it the flying thunder wet noodle technique in this story if Naruto can’t wipe the floor with someone spamming a ghost army when the technique was designed to, you know, massacre army’s. Minato used the Hirashin to single handedly destroy fields full of enemies...higher body counts than the total number of ghosts Jose used in that fight. There’s no way Naruto with his greater chakra reserves can’t clear a room full of ghosts (which are, come on, clearly at chunin rank or lower in terms of skill) before continuing to stop Jose. No way they’re at the same power level. Four clones, the original, Hirashin knives, ten seconds. End of discussion. Leaves a bad taste in the mouth that Jose lasted so long, and was clearly done to give Makarov a chance at using Fairy Law. So forced. Blah.
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 2 . 12/16/2017
So I left my review for chapter 3 after reading to the first line break...wish I could edit reviews, but this is also in regards to chapter 3. Seriously, I get that you’re trying to portray Naruto as a caring older brother type, but what kind of adults are going to let some masked stranger walk up to an 8 year old kid and say “hey you wanna move in with me?” without calling the police? Smh.