|Reviews for The Champion and The Shepherd|
| Red Guardsman chapter 4 . 8/22
Aaaand I give up on rational, constructive review. This badly needs a rewrite, or at the very least adopting and reworking.
| Red Guardsman chapter 3 . 8/22
Aaaand immersion blown.
So much that could have been done here, but instead things were just glossed over and moven onward. I get keeping things short for dramatic spacing's sake, but this is just bad. The arrival of Shepard clearly counts for nothing whatsoever towards the plot, or was there a part where the characters acknowledged that the events that brought Shepard here were
Nice touch with the characters not knowing a few more modern terms. But things are moving too fast paced and with far too little exposition on either characters or plot events.
| Red Guardsman chapter 2 . 8/22
Started reading, will review as I go through.
I'm seeing a good amount of preten so far, but kinda bare-bones. Like, on one hand practically anyone who's seen the source material will know what you're talking about by name but someone who's completely new to everything will have a hard time trying to picture what's going on here.
Another thing here - the Normandy's eezo disappearing with no explanation... and no reaction? The thing I'm bringing up here is the fact that nobody wondered what happened. On a sci-fi (spacefaring) vessel which everything is known down to the stress warping of the fasteners on a bulkhead, the stuff with which you fly your vessel just vanishing (in presumably a sealed container or at least a method to contain it all) and nobody wonders 'How the hell did that happen?' Very out of character, for a sci-fi race. Similar to us driving along and then the sparkplugs in our cars up and vanishing - that stuff just does not happen.
Nice and fluffy overall however. I'll continue to pick out details as I go.
| Avo385 chapter 28 . 7/15
I really wish that this story would be continued, or at least rewritten, but it seems like that won't happen.
| Mercuris chapter 28 . 4/30
Hey. When are you going to rewrite this story?
| AlsoKnownAsMatt chapter 28 . 4/25
Just caught up with this and obviously you've not restarted the fic...Too bad, it is a good one. (though I wasn't crazy about chs14-17, Shepard's actions and those of the Templar didn't make a lot of sense to me). Generally you had great character development and an interesting twist on action in both universes. I do hope you pick the fic back up at some point. Thanks for your hard work on it so far.
| Guest chapter 28 . 10/12/2015
I love this story, so whether it is continued of rebooted I'll read it.
| Balrog1788 chapter 28 . 9/9/2015
Really like this story hope you do go with a reboot.
| Tes1 chapter 28 . 7/7/2015
I'm guessing this story isn't continuing huh? It is a great story I really wish to continue. I'm really curious to see where this all goes to see how the hawkes deal with finding Miranda and sorry I wonder if Bethany likes Samantha. Anyway hopefully it continues would love to see Shepard against the qun and be involved with the war between mages and Templars.
| Guest chapter 26 . 5/14/2015
I kinda did find the bantering between the companions kind of annoying. You can only hear them argue for so long before you decide to go on your own.
| LordByakuran36 chapter 27 . 1/24/2015
Shame we won't she the connection with the Hawke's and the Reapers song since this story is operationally dead.
| Guest chapter 10 . 8/31/2014
I'm not saying Liara is right about magic science but as far as her saying that the research necessary to study almost literally anything properly is under-developed (and yes primitive) is accurate. Their entire planet is definitely primitive compared to us, not even going into Shepard's time. They're in the ages of swords after all, their technology isn't capable of proper research.
The characters might find it to be offensive but well... there is at least several hundred years difference.
| Red Jeanie chapter 28 . 7/14/2014
if polishing it up will help you to keep writing this story go for it!
| Lord-Duguerre chapter 28 . 6/20/2014
how ironic that your choices affect the outcome of the story. i just recently found this story looking for some inspiration for some Dragon Age/Mass Effect fandom. both of you are excellent writers, and it shows in how well each chapter flows almost seamlessly into the next (maybe not perfect, but that's just healthy criticism and a growing love for your story!)
looking forward to where you go with this story. i'll be having my own fun with ideas as lordsantiago on deviantart.
| Guest chapter 20 . 6/12/2014
I just read your chapter 20 authors note, and I'm not sure if its because you're post the edit you were talking about, but I've found myself enjoying this story. Anyways, the scene with Carver I read, I'm really surprised Shepard didn't do more to him. The guy was so beyond being a prick that I doubt I would have held back, and I'm generally extremely neutral, where everything just washes over me unless I'm being specifically targeted and relentlessly attacked. She showed restraint there. Anyways, enjoyable story, I'm not sure where the negative reviewers you were talking about are coming from, some really funny moments have been found in this story, and it never felt what I'd call badly written. So long story short, great job never what I'd call an unreasonably unbelievable moment, I say unreasonable like 'Shepard lands and immediately invites Hawke's companions to fight the Reapers, and every one of them instantly becomes just as skilled as the Shepard squad, and in some cases more skilled and never has a more than superficial awe of the wonders of going from Thedas to the Mass Effect galaxy.'. There were never incredulity stretching moments like that. So again, good job, couldn't have done better myself.