|Reviews for Harry Potter and The Crests of Hogwarts|
| HarryPotterFangirl85 chapter 6 . 8/8
This storyline seems interesting enough, but I'm having a little problem really getting into it. Granted, I realize you wrote this when you were in high school and I am an adult in my 30s, so neither one of us can expect to be on the same level in maturity with this particular story. I will say that so far it's intriguing and I would like to find out how it ends, but not sure I want to read through all the chaos to get to it...
| lokilette chapter 1 . 4/5/2015
"there were residents sleep in their dreams" - This line doesn't make any sense. I'm not sure what it was trying to say.
Oh, I didn't realize it was Albus at first, and he has a granddaughter. :) I'm interested to see who he married and had children with, then. I'm interested how a squib studying at Hogwarts works, even if she is the Headmaster's granddaughter. The majority of classes involve magic, so does she just have those classes waived or does she automatically fail them for being able to do magic?
I wonder why the children lived in the woods when they had a grandfather who was well-known who could've cared for them? Ooooh gosh this makes so much more sense now! I'm so glad you did the backstory. :) It's a ruse. I love it all the more now! Look at that, most of my questions have been answered. This is wonderful!
I just love this opening! So much going on. It made me ask a whole slew of questions, and you pretty much answered them all except for the ever important what's going to happen next. :) Great way to start.
| lele141299 chapter 29 . 11/12/2014
Very nice story :D and Draco is so cute with Harry here
| lucky333123 chapter 29 . 2/12/2014
Sooooo good! Is there going to be a sequel? :o
| lucianolover chapter 2 . 10/27/2013
Pixie is my favorite character of this story so far. Even ahead of Harry. I love the uniqueness of this tale. It's part of what keeps me intrigued.
| lucianolover chapter 1 . 10/27/2013
Great start. You definitely have me hooked on finding out more about Pixie. I really hope you develop her character properly.
| TheArtisticIntrovert chapter 17 . 5/19/2013
i don't get it... why is the person named Amanda nearly always the villain?
| mysteriousminds chapter 7 . 3/17/2013
Love the plot & stuff but i stopped reading it because i just couldn't read a story with such bad grammar & i just want 2 stress that i love the plot & story pls get a beta i bet you'd get hundreds of good reviews if u just got a beta
PS meant to be constructive criticism
| DELETEDFORGOODDDDDD chapter 12 . 3/4/2013
Jeesh, this story really could have used a beta. Your grammar is awful. No offense but it's just really hard to read at times. I know this is old so you probably won't even care but next time get a beta.
| DELETEDFORGOODDDDDD chapter 9 . 3/4/2013
It's 'What does she look like?" not 'How does she look like?'
| Peaked peeked it reeked chapter 1 . 4/12/2006
Your terminology is incorrect, and if your understanding of said terminology is incorrect, then so is the entire basis of your story. Pixie is a squib; that is, a person born to a magical family with little or no magical powers of his or her own.
"'If only your poor parents and big brother CAN see you now...' Albus watched as Pixie lowered her eyelids AT THE SOUND of her family, 'They'll be so proud of you...'" Wrong tense- this phrase is used often, but likely you've mistranslated or you just didn't pay very good attention in English. Also, "the sound of her family" implies that her family is right there beside them, making noise. Better word choices are, "if only you poor family, your parents and your big brother, could see you now..." or "I'm sure that your poor family, your parents and your big brother, can see what good you are doing now..." The latter implies a belief in angels or heavenly embodied spirits of some sort. As for the latter mistake, "at the reference to her family" or "at the memories the mention of her family invoked" would each be more appropriate.
I do apologize for the harsh tone in my review; I have never been able to really put positive emotions into writing without it feeling false, and I am more used to using words negatively. This is not meant as a flame; your idea is very interesting, although it fairly screams Mary Sue- that is, a perfect important character that embodies the essence of who or what the author is or would like to be. You probably tried to tone it down with the 'pudgy', or are yourself; if the former, you did not succeed; if the latter, you have proven my point.
Also, Albus would not be the one to check on Harry, if such things ever did occur. Living in a cupboard under the stairs? That is abusive and illegal. Teaching him to cook at such a tender age, heaping him with verbal abuse like 'freak', allowing Dudley to beat him up? All show that, if Albus really did check on Harry during his younger years, he is the more inhumane for not removing him and trying to find an alternative to his housing situation. Also, what gave Albus the right to give Harry to Petunia and the Dursleys? He is/was one of the greatest wizards of the wizarding world, but not infallible, and certainly that does not grant the right to declare the fate of infants, does it? Would you want to allow a hero of our time to give your children away when you are dead, especially since Sirius had not yet been cornered by Pettigrew and the Muggles killed? He was the Godfather. He had legal rights over Harry, and Albus was able to bypass that? He should not be able to without working through several piles of paperwork and associated red tape. Even the head of the Wizangamot is bound by certain rules.
I just noticed again- she didn't know Harry's name? If Albus Dumbledore is her guardian, and she is 'The Mistress of Magical Knowledge' (idiotic and pointless name, btw), then she wouldn't even think to even pretend to forget his name.
"My magic, advice and knowledge are all I can offer," the old professor turned to face his granddaughter in a thoughtful expression, “But I cannot interfere with Harry's life."
I just noticed this. If you've read my entire review, I think you get my point, but... HE DID IT THE FUCK ANYWAY!
A fifteen-year old is named another teenager's babysitter? And the Dursleys agreed? Either severe magic is involved- which breaks some statute or another in wizarding law-, they don't know about their housesitter- muggle laws- or you obviously do not understand the working mind of the paranoid adult.
And Florida doesn't seem like somewhere they would go with Death Eaters after them or their charge and Harry, primarily unsupervised, in the house. Either magical interference or problems pertaining to paranoia and understanding it.
Also, Harry's got ot be about bonkers about now, and Albus is putting a Muggle that will be further interfering with his life within arm's reach.
Idiots, the lot of them, and you too.
| poland chapter 6 . 8/5/2005
Is English your first language? You seem to use words very awkwardly, which is probably why you don't have more reviews than you do. It's been going on the whole story. These are some examples from this chapter.
"He often mentions about her to me whenever we study together."
"Pixie looked between the two boys that were taller than her. The silence was killing the suspense and she could no longer stand the heavy atmosphere."
(Why on earth did you add in "that were taller than her?" If there's not a reason for something to be there, don't put it in. "The silence was killing the suspense" just simply doesn't mean anything. It sounds like a bad translation.)
"he beats me up every night as long as I can remember"
Please either edit it very thoroughly, or get an English-speaking beta.
| The Sacred Feminine chapter 28 . 4/21/2005
OMG! THAT WAS AWESOME! GR, IT SUCKS THAT ITS OVER... MATBE I'LL GO READ SOMETHING ELSE OF YOURS...
| scorpionboi chapter 28 . 12/12/2004
It was about time I made it to your story and I'm glad that I did. Very touching, just the right mix of everything. The angst wasn't so angsty it couldn't be overcome in a chapter. I'm glad that you tied up all of the loose ends in a very neat little bundle. Great to read your story.. I'll look for the others. Thanks from Nevada
| yaoi-is-gay-13 chapter 28 . 7/28/2004
aw! i love this fic! it ish so sweet and innocent!