Reviews for Missing Moments
TheLightIsMine chapter 1 . 3/7/2013
I love this; Laseema is a character not written about much, and it was great to see your take on her relationship with Atin. No one writes them, really. Yay for some couple recognition! :D

I liked the way it was written in the present tense. For me, it added a sense of mysticalness (not a word) and mystery...some kind of darkness, like the shadow of her past, perhaps? I had this wonderfully vivid image of Atin's scarred face turning back to look at her. I like the comment about Coruscant; "Coruscant is never dark" - very true! I never considered that way of describing it before. I like this line, too: "Suddenly, she is tired of feeling tired." I kind of always wanted to see Atin teaching Laseema to fight, and this was a great short little scene between them.

I really can't wait to see what you do with this next! I'm so excited! :D
Darksabre35 chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
FINALLY! *does a happy dance* Finally SOMEONE gives attention to this highly glossed-over RepCom couple. We hear all the lamenting about Darman and Etain, and there is Besany/Ordo stuff and even Corr/Jilka stuff, but we NEVER hear anything about Laseema and Atin. So congrats for being the first!:)

We get only a little indication of the stuff Laseema has been through, so I enjoyed your more in-depth look at what exactly she's been forced to bear - she has never had the chance to say no, and I think it is perfectly reasonable that being taught to say no and defend herself would be a very new but somewhat frightening experience.

And I loved the dynamic between Atin and Laseema - very little was spoken, but you could sense the connection between them. It is a very special thing that Laseema is going to let a guy who could easily kill her on the spot teach her to defend herself after years of being abused by various jackasses, and the fact that she is willing to spend time with him in a dark, secluded place speaks volumes about how much she has come to trust him. And trust is one of the foundations of true love.

And Atin's patience with Laseema is...wonderful. I always got the impression that Atin was patient; he has to be, to be a hacker and all that, and his patience plays a role in his relationship to Laseema too. When they do finally end up romantically, I would imagine that Laseema would definitely wait longer to go all the way with Atin than other RepCom couples would because of what had happened to her in the past, and I know Atin will be patient and wait for her to truly feel comfortable with him even if need is eating him up (there is a plot bunny somewhere...hmmm). Clones have short lifespans - they want to make the most of it.

Great work!
LongLiveTheClones chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
I love this piece for how it described Atin as not attractive yet so compelling at the same time. You can feel Laseema's fear, and her attraction, in this short vignette and its very compelling. You're right. They do need more as a couple. I forget. How did he get that scar? Walon Vau, right?