|Reviews for SONG OF THE FOURTEENTH|
| Alaina Kuski chapter 15 . 5/28/2014
More Please! I love this!
| Snowlily246 chapter 15 . 5/27/2014
I love the Fourteenth's song, it's so beautiful. I'm guessing Kira takes after her mom in looks, right? I'm glad you gave us a glimpse into Kira's childhood.
| Guest chapter 15 . 5/27/2014
When I found this early this morning, I hardly could stop reading and almost didn't go to sleep! Fantastic job! I cannot wait for more!
| crownclown25 chapter 15 . 5/27/2014
OMG I LOVE THIS STORY! I woke up is a depressing mood. Couldn't go to school today because of personal reasons. Every day when I wake up, I check this website mainly for its DGM OC fanfics.
"Nope,nope, not OC, hate that paring,no- wait.*scrolls back up* SONG OF THE FOURTEENTH AWWWW YEA!"
I love the cute relationship with Allen and there aren't that many allen X oc stories. And and this one is fantastic. I bow down to your presence, ChikitaWolf-Sama:3
| I've got Rhythm in my Soul chapter 15 . 5/27/2014
Dude you updated! Happiness! Joy! BRILLO-PADS!
Okay, cooling down now... Allen's soliloquy (is that the right word?) at the beginning was spot on. His undeniable sense of loneliness, the feeling of displacement, that he wonders even a little whether his feelings are his own or that of Neah's. You actually provoked feelings of sympathy for the Ark too as if were sentient, which is something I considered ages ago when reading the manga. Plus I enjoyed how you had him reference the feelings of those around him like Lenalee and the rest of the people who work at the black order and how, whether they realize it or not, probably make him feel that much more secluded. He's a boy between worlds.
Kira's reaction sounds a lot like how I'd probably react in that situation, so it definitely made me grin. She's just as moronic, chaotic and ridiculous as the rest of them and I include Kanda in this as well. The dude is just... aie. Love the reference to katana happy samurai's and Allen's sheer resistance to the guy (love/hate relationships are awesome). And Komui's robots. Exactly like the manga.
And just what I've been waiting for: the song of the 14th! Yes! Kira's so new and innocent at the mo that she may not have realized that speaking such things out aloud my alert other less than moral, inscrutable people to poke around and scrutinize her in turn. But I'm actually glad you did this. It can get annoying when too much is kept secret. In the same way the reader's and the character may learn more from it.
Brillo-pads! The reaction from the scientist guys working there! The stupidity! I always found it super funny, adorable and a little heartbreaking how much these guys seem to care for each other and the exorcists. Like family. You managed to get that down perfectly. Can't wait for what they might do... or not do. Will she meet Lenalee? Ohh, Kanda?!
Nice description for the ark, well portrayed (like I'm an expert or anything). But Kira entering it reminded me of the snow dance in Edward Sissorhands (I know, I feel obsessed!). I'm insane I know it! But the ark is a beautiful place isn't it? If a little eerie. It makes you wonder more about the enigmatic heart of a certain 14th doesn't it? I mean I say that Allen is a lonely boy right? But if he's lonely just what does that make Neah?
God, it's so like Allen to try to make everyone feel at ease isn't it? He's so deserving of kindness and love (me feeling a little sentimental right now: it's the crisp butties, I swear:).
Allen's reaction to her taking his hand was good stuff... and I half melted when he offered it back in turn. Because he's just awesome like that. A gentleman in the dark. More than little mysterious. I feel so much better after reading this!
| PorfontoPorifin chapter 14 . 5/16/2014
Hey! I really love this fanfiction, it's been with me ever since I was starting to get a hang of this site and doing a marathon of the old 60-chapter installment really made me feel the ups and downs of the whole story in one go, kinda like how'd you feel when you speed marathon through the DGM manga. (Kanda's arc was basically tripping for me...)
From my recollections of it, I really liked that one arc where it was Kira's first mission since I really felt the tension of it. (wait spoilers are alright, right?) I can't wait to read it again in this version and the changes of it!
One thing I really like about your writing style is that your pace is slow and steady but not... too slow and postponing, something that improved from the original one. I really don't mind reading an arc that's about 20 chapters if it is well-written and not tedious.
Since I've forgotten most of the things about DGM because of it's less frequent updates, this fic helps me remember a lot and maybe I'll be back to this fandom because of it! (If so, I will deeply thank you and I'm sure that one way or another I'm gonna make an OC of this fandom because it's tempting.)
The characters point of views are divided equally but still has Kira as the main point of view, I can't wait to see what kind of new things that will happen to her in this version and how her character develops into. (Yeah, I kinda forgot the story a bit...) I also can't wait to see how the supporting characters that are briefly mentioned in the first arc are going to effect the upcoming chapters...! Especially since the end of this chapter was very intriguing.
Oh, and the fact that you did detailed research for this fic... I just want to applaud you. I can understand why a chapter wouldn't be updated for a long time with the amount of research you do. Gosh, maybe I should call you research-senpai.
The omakes are funny though at first I had a hard time distinguishing whether if it actually happened in the story or if it was just bloopers. (Woah imagine if this was just a movie.)
About your question in the end of this chapter, I'm up for anyone as long as it's natural actually. Though supporting characters would be great!
Well I've gone overboard with this review by it being too long even though I already said a few things on dA and probably just repeating myself. Anyways, have a great life and safe writings you wonderful person! Thank you for writing this fic
| GreyRoseOfHope chapter 13 . 4/27/2014
KANDA. THE CAT STEALS SOMETHING OF KANDA'S! XD
. . .Orrrrr the cat takes down one of Komoui's latest robot menaces. XD
. . .The cat vs. The Door. WHO WILL WIN?!
| NightlyRowenTree chapter 14 . 4/12/2014
Awesome I loved it
| pink9571 chapter 14 . 4/6/2014
Nice chapter! :)
| pink9571 chapter 13 . 4/6/2014
This was awesome! Totally worth the wait :) and love the grandfather :D
| papyrus-tree chapter 13 . 4/5/2014
what a beautiful way to round off the arc sobs
you srsly tore my heart out with that part about leaving grampy ;-;
OVERALL i think the story so far has been really well paced! The places you left off kept me wanting to come back for more : )
all the characters were so IN character like holy beans are you like hoshino herself or something
also to anSWER UR QUESTION
I WANNA SEE HER MEET JOHNNY
| I've got Rhythm in my Soul chapter 14 . 4/2/2014
i don't think you need to worry about the last chapter: it was awesome. Though I almost choked when she finally left her grandpa to work for the order. Twas sad! Twas glad! And, hey, it was a great way to end an arc so no worries. That bloody box though, it's secrets elude me! I must find out what it is (if work be willing). I've gotta say you have a great way of evoking mystery for your readers and I'm loving each and every minute of it. Evermore this story reminds me of the theme song from Edward Sissorhands, it's brillo-pads and awesome-sauce and you make me want to know what's going to happen next.
The extra detail going into construction for this chapter was very welcome and you managed to incorporate that elusive order's creepiness into the pot too. I mean they're nice people and all but the order, at the same time as being a group of heroes are also filled with stereotypical assholes and religious nuts. I can understand why people like Allen, Kanda and now Kira would feel uncomfortable.
It was a nice touch to mention the rigorous training time of the exorcists. I mean their must have been a reason why they're all so freaking fit.
I can't wait until the next chapter with Allen's lullaby song and walking through the arc. Visiting members of the order etc.
| Snowlily246 chapter 14 . 4/1/2014
Yea! Fast update. Loved the chapter, very fluffly and funny. Update soon.
| papyrus-tree chapter 12 . 3/31/2014
WRITING COMMENTS AS I GO LOL
allen is always a starved squirrel lol
i like the ingsight on lavi omg
like you just added that in but it seems so legit holy butts
"neh" i like how that sounds coming from lavi idk
its very in-character i feel.
wasnt thomas in the last fic? xD
"noticing allen's arched white eyebrow" is a great sentence hnn
you butt xD
ok i hope you dont mind this but i never liked the phrase "sweat-dropped"/shot
it just seemed too /anime/ which, yeah, i know this is a fanfiction fROM an anime but when its written out like this i tend to take it more... seriously? idk. Its just a personal preference.
i love how you have a million different ways of referring to everyone hnn
poor allen bbu *pets allen*
THEN IT SWITCHES TO KIRA
amg i love it i love it
mitt barnarn is one of my favorite nicknames ever ok just thought i'd let you know
"voice heavy" like how everything is cutting back and forth when it seems right. they talk about chikita killing akuma and then the exorcists talking about scorch marks in the barn. very nice very nice.
allens food beckons him amg
whAT A WEIRD THOUGHT. THE AKUMA ARE HIS EYES. strange i have never thought about it that way before?
ALLEN YOURE SO CUTE HE JUST WANTS THE FOOD
faries omg lol
everyones too cute
stop with the cute
"bully our chickens" joe would be ok with that he doesn't like chickens
((psst you forgot the dividing line between dialogues hehe))
"ivory white hair" hnnng *shivers at good adjectives*
im soooo glad you say "stupid" not "baka" the baka annoys me more than the "sweat drop" thing
"my dear bean" oh gawd
SILLY ALLEN MORE FOOD
gawd grampy ur so vague
"patriarch" is a good word too *o*
hnngng grampy perk up
omg i love her reaction to the black order thing ngnnng
its the boX ISNT IT
YES IT IS
dont repress ur emotions kira bb its not a good thing
"ghosted" hnnn more good words
LITTLE KIRA IS TOO CUTE MY BODY CANT TAKE IT
omg she tripped what a nub
okay so now the actual review desu
wow this chapter is so good. like omg. You have such a great vocabulary and amazing characterization! I feel like Hoshino herself had put these characters here hnng
I love the mysteries surrounding kira's past as well as that dang box. Just all of it keeps me wanting to read more! Keep up the good work babu333
| Snowlily246 chapter 13 . 3/26/2014
So sad & funny at the same time . . .