|Reviews for A state of indifference|
| Chrisfragger chapter 4 . 9/23/2014
I like your coach of the football team. Very commanding. Takes no lip and knows what he is doing.
Though I am disappointed you did not describe the try-outs and reactions in detail. Seemed like a Prime opportunity to put some action in the story without it being "canonny" That you seem to not wish to include.
| Chrisfragger chapter 3 . 9/23/2014
Well written and such. But I don't know if I can continue. It seems to have NO action and doesn't look like it will to be honest. I mean is this DBZ or is it just a story with a main character that happens to be named Gohan?
| Chrisfragger chapter 2 . 9/23/2014
I wonder if there will be any of the actual canon plot in this story. It sounds like from what I've read not likely.
| SoulTsuki chapter 24 . 9/21/2014
So while I was waiting for the next update, I decided to re-read the whole book so far. I realized that I've never written a review, mostly because the only thing that would come to mind is a generic "loved it. Cant wait for the next one" and following it up with a couple exclamation points. I would think how silly that would look. Its not constructive or helpful in any way (nor is this but I think its better than the former) I do find it necessary to say that this is the most well written, well thought out, most character developed fanfiction I have ever read. You're ability to paint such a vivid picture of each scene is incredible. Thanks so much for what you've written so far!
| DarkVoid116 chapter 24 . 9/18/2014
Obviously, this is a hell of a chapter. It took me a very long time to get around to reading it once it was published, unfortunately, since I'd already read it as you're aware.
Taking such a long break in between readings really made this chapter so much more enjoyable for me. I really did like the first read-through of it, but this second time the chapter came to life. I read it more carefully and every little thing Gohan did jumped out. You described the act very well and really made me understand all of Gohan's emotions and the pleasure Videl was undergoing.
There are still many unresolved things in this story and a long way to go. I don't know if there'll be a villain, but I'm sure there's going to be drama nonetheless. Sharpner and Erasa, I believe, still need to hear about Gohan & Videl consummating their relationship. If I'm not mistaken, they worked out their differences as the train was about to leave, on Friday night, Gohan was in Mount Paozu - and with Chi Chi, Mia, and Goten in that village where the villager knew of Goku - over the weekend, and then Gohan and Videl talked Sunday night late into the night, with Gohan returning to Videl's to give her the notebook at the crack of dawn on Monday, and then this would be Wednesday, right?
There was no break or recess in there for Videl to talk to Erasa or Gohan to Sharpner after everything had gone down, and now they've had sex, so there's that wrinkle to add to it.
Obviously, there's also the "adult" drama to account for. Yamcha, Krillin, Tien & co. need to deal with their relationship with Gohan, Gohan needs to tell Bulma about everything and also explain to Chi Chi that he has a girlfriend, and we've got Hercule and his overprotectiveness to deal with. I don't know what lengths Hercule will go to in order to discover more about Gohan, but it won't be pretty, lol. Videl and Gohan should be/will be fine, but they're going to have to deal with this drama regardless.
Anyway, yay! They finally had sex and are officially together and happy. All the rest of the stuff can wait, and I'm certainly excited for the remainder of the story to be written and posted once you're done with your novel. 'til then Ms. Melon, thanks for this awesome chapter.
| aleger2005 chapter 24 . 9/11/2014
Omg...I just re-read the entire story; it's just as intoxicating as it was the first time! I just can't stop thinking about it, even though I already knew what was going to happen, I was still on edge the whole time! I stay up til 3 or 4 in the morning reading this, just to have to get up at 7 for work. Then I do it all over again when I get home lol. I've never found a story, or book, that had me so completely obsessed. You are a truly amazing writer, please never quit what you do, you were born to do this! All I can say is thank you for this piece of heaven you have given me, and I absolutely cannot wait for the next chapters!
| dcp1992 chapter 24 . 8/29/2014
(Pressed the stupid replay before I was done)
But yeah, you do a fine job in portraying emotion.
I feel kinda bad, but while I was reading it I was actually looking forward to when Videl got hurt by Rick, I don't know why because its horrible. I guess its just how emotional the chapter is and how awesome Gohan is too. You did that chapter perfectly.
But anyway, I really really want the next chapter now. But I also know you are in hiatus until around Christmas so I guess I'll have to wait for a new chapter then. Even if it feels like I can't wait that long, lol. Hopefully I don't forget what I read in 4 months. We you in December! Hopefully!
P.S.: I guess you on break is why Plus One isn't updates either, that was a evil spot to stop too.
| dcp1992 chapter 24 . 8/29/2014
(Posting as a guest because I've already reviewed every chapter before)
Man, rereading this was awesome. I spent about 3 days binge reading all the chapters, and I could definitely tell an improvement in the first 12 chapters... I guess that 32k extra words helped out a lot.
But dang, it was defiantly a different experience reading all the chapter at the same time vs waiting for the updates. It was such an experience for the fact I could remember almost all the details from the earlier chapter that were referenced later on in the story. Man, I can't really describe how good you are with words and emotions you portrayed in this story. Also the fact that what the character sees might not always be right, like when Gohan though Videl feared him when he changed to Super Saiyan. Where in fact she was just startled about who he actually was with all the facts. But I think a little fear was showing, just for the fact of her remembering him saving her from where Rick dumped her... Because I know she was still shaken up from that.
I have to say that this is still probably my favorite Fan Fiction of all time. Just the way you write the characters and see play emotion. It did bring up some interesting points though. In chapter 2 it was stated that Vegeta and Goku was going to take Gohan out for drinks after he had sex the first time. So is Gohan going to go out for drinks to honor them, maybe with Sharpner... Though I guess it would be a little embarrasing to tell Sharpener that, maybe not though. Also I didn't notice Gohan bite Videl, as in mate bite, in this chaprer... Did he not do it or what. Because in chapter 15 he semi bit Videl during that emotional scene.
I can say though that this story still gets me super emotional, I can also say it caused me to actually laugh out loud not only at home but when I was out and about too. Deffently got some funny looks but the scenes were just to dang funny. Not many stories can make me laugh out loud... Or get me almost to tears at points. You just suck me into it so much with how you write
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/9/2014
This is a great story. You write really well. I look forward to the next chapter.
| Guest chapter 24 . 8/6/2014
This was absolutely amazing! Please please please please continue! I was so devastated when i saw no updates /3 this is hands down the best fanfic I've ever read!
| mslegend92 chapter 24 . 7/22/2014
its just a shame really that this story does not have more reviews than its due. Its been excellent so far. thank you and keep on writing.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/13/2014
u left this shit on standby, bitch,. so u can sit on your hole, dumb ass. cliff hangers r never a good thing bitch!
Can You Add Gohan X Harem
| Shadow Tricked chapter 23 . 7/4/2014
upddaatttteee I've been waiting to long lol
| A-man chapter 24 . 7/2/2014
Glad I waited until you released a few chapter's. Great stuff. At times it is a bit hard to read how angsty and depressed Gohan is, but it is definitely a change of pace from the norm. The quality of writing is fantastic as always. Hopefully I don't have to wait another year for a significant build up in chapters.
| kimiii.berly chapter 24 . 7/1/2014
Miss your every month Updates... :(
Can't wait to see how it will go on!