Reviews for To Wish Upon a Falling Star
Littlemisskigirl chapter 1 . 1/11
I have no idea who is who because I've never read LOTR, but I like it! :D
Dash99 chapter 5 . 7/29/2013
Great story and a great plot! it just sometimes can be hard to read. here's a tip that will help you with your dialogue: Every time a new speaker speaks, make a new paragraph. That will help the story be more understandable. Other than that, great job! I can't wait to see how the plot turns out!
Seriya Silvermist chapter 5 . 7/18/2013
This is really good so far!
There is one thing that is making this kind of hard to read. You need to use paragraph breaks
For example ( the right way):

"Lanrice."
"What, Ranger? Why are you following me?"

"How'd you know we were following you!?"

"Umm... I dunno, might have had something to do with the big gap in the crowd behind me?"

"Well I might know a thing or two about being unseen."

"I am not impressed by you, Ranger."

Then Gilan interrupted Halt, saying, "Well Halt, let it rest, you already know that she can argue pretty well.

" "Glad to know someone here is polite!" was the first thing that came out of her mouth, and she immediately clapped a hand over her mouth and began to back away.

Gilan and Halt continued to argue about something, and she began to run. She ran like she had never run before. She thought she heard someone coming after her, but when she looked over her shoulder she found that it was just her imagination. Or was it.

All of the sudden she tripped over something unseen in the road. She slid on her side as she twisted to avoid hurting herself.

She looked behind her to see what had caused her fall. "A wire!?" She blurted before thinking.

As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt rough arms hold her arms to her side and a rough hand cover her mouth. She bit the hand over her mouth, and kicked the body of the man holding her arms.

It was all she could think of to do. When her struggles came to no avail she thought to herself, so this is how Rangers take revenge. They're probably going to kill me now.

She tried to sigh, but couldn't. She closed her eyes, and felt a cut on her arm. Then she fell into a deep deep sleep.

Instead of:

"Lanrice." "What, Ranger? Why are you following me?" "How'd you know we were following you!?" "Umm... I dunno, might have had something to do with the big gap in the crowd behind me?" "Well I might know a thing or two about being unseen." "I am not impressed by you, Ranger." Then Gilan interrupted Halt, saying, "Well Halt, let it rest, you already know that she can argue pretty well." "Glad to know someone here is polite!" was the first thing that came out of her mouth, and she immediately clapped a hand over her mouth and began to back away. Gilan and Halt continued to argue about something, and she began to run. She ran like she had never run before. She thought she heard someone coming after her, but when she looked over her shoulder she found that it was just her imagination. Or was it. All of a sudden she tripped over something unseen in the road. She slid on her side as she twisted to avoid hurting herself. She looked behind her to see what had caused her fall. "A wire!?" She blurted before thinking. As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt rough arms hold her arms to her side and a rough hand cover her mouth. She bit the hand over her mouth, and kicked the body of the man holding her arms It was all she could think of to do. When her struggles came to no avail she thought to herself, so this is how Rangers take revenge. They're probably going to kill me now. She tried to sigh, but couldn't. She closed her eyes, and felt a cut on her arm. Then she fell into a deep deep sleep.

You could always get a beta reader:) please continue I really want to see where this goes
-Silvermist
Seriya Silvermist chapter 4 . 4/8/2013
Oh man genovesians *raises eyebrow* I think
Savannah Silverstone chapter 4 . 4/7/2013
Naaa it's okay ! My titles get pretty random too! Crowley seemed fine... My main problem is your lack of page breaks... It kinda makes it hard to read . Update soon !
Seriya Silvermist chapter 3 . 4/1/2013
This seems interesting GILAN! Yes this fandom needs more of him by the way gilan is spelled with 1 l
Savannah Silverstone chapter 3 . 3/20/2013
Hmmm The chapter needs more descriptions and there's a new paragraph every time someone new talks so... I think that's what you need to work on. So far the characters were kinda in character, you just need to fix a few things here and , It'd be great if you update!
Hannah chapter 2 . 3/15/2013
Please update its really good
Dash99 chapter 2 . 3/17/2013
I know I am being technical but when you are writing from a third person point of view you don't have to say pov, just so you know. I can't wait to see where this is headed!
Savannah Silverstone chapter 2 . 3/16/2013
Hmm you need a bit work in narration and fixing some of your spelling but good job so far just make longer chapters too
Dash99 chapter 1 . 3/10/2013
What's going to happen? Curiosity is going to kill me so update! (Please:))
Savannah Silverstone chapter 1 . 3/10/2013
It was too short... That's my only issue. I think it could have been longer and a lot more could've happened so the reader will be able to know at least a bit of what to expect in the later chapters... Please update though!