Reviews for Betrayal |
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![]() ![]() ![]() The story is well conceived and very well written. You have the makings of a master writer- thank you for publishing. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Good story. Thanks. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Finally, a well written little story with a great Harry Potter character and actions to go with his evolved personality. Shame stories like this are almost non existent in this fandom. |
![]() ![]() ![]() good short, would be nice if their was more. |
![]() ![]() ![]() If the wound is infected (most probable) then the hydrogen peroxide is the right thing to use. Only wounds very neat, not deep and very clean can be washed with sterile saline solution. |
![]() ![]() ![]() nice |
![]() ![]() ![]() dayyum |
![]() ![]() ![]() Really great story! I agree that it could be made into a full length novel that would explore the aftermath but this format still was very enjoyable, thank you for writing this |
![]() ![]() That was ... intense. The lengths he went to, and the job still ain't done. No rest yet, as if a geas had been spoken. A tragedy of almost classical dimension. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very well written! |
![]() ![]() Kinda boring not to see the aftermath. I also really want to see those two get a happy ending. In its current state it's a victorious ending, but in no way a happy one. |
![]() ![]() Fucking retarded |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really liked this and I think it’s the correct length. The kind of additional content that some of the reviewers are asking for has already been done in other fics. The readers also want a happy ending for Harry and Daphne, but I would find it unlikely that the characters that you wrote would want what the readers want for them. Daphne isn’t going back to Britain with Harry, because they are miraculously healed and capable of a normal relationship. He just makes her feel “less broken” and safe. Thank you for sharing your creativity and I’m not surprised that this story won the contest. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Interesting fanfic. I found a few potential minor misspellings and such: 1 " nothing in comparison the opposing" - " nothing in comparison to the opposing" 3 " he took only took a few bills " - " he only took a few bills " " I saw it fly directly toward his. H" - " I saw it fly directly toward him. H" "She was Dark Lord's most trusted " - "She was the Dark Lord's most trusted " 4 "from me walked slowly to" - "from me and walked slowly to" Thanks for writing and have a nice day. |
![]() ![]() at 20k words it's pretty much a one-shot to be honest but i liked it anyways it was a really fun scene to envision when daphne & harry tricked tom so simply, the simplest tricks are too often overlooked in favour of bombastic fighting. and for a wizard's fight, it's only fitting! |