|Reviews for Sufferring|
| master1527 chapter 5 . 4/17/2014
| master1527 chapter 1 . 4/17/2014
master of death is possibly more powerful then his counterpart
| Guest chapter 4 . 10/25/2013
Wow, I did not see that coming...
| tanithlipsky chapter 5 . 10/23/2013
| Anonymousreader chapter 1 . 10/17/2013
Since you requested, I will point out mistakes in the prologue:
“Every wishes and requests” – I think “every” is followed by a singular noun. (So it would be “every wish and request”
“Loki grimaced as he can . . .” – Keep the same tense. (“Could” instead of “can”)
If you’re being very strict, “with” is a hanging preposition – should be “with which”; in this case you can just omit the “with.”
“ . . . discomforts lied in . . .” – Wrong use of “lied”; should be “lay” (This is a common mistake.)
“The two were whispering harshly” is an independent clause and needs to be separated from the first parts of the sentence with a semicolon or a comma and conjunction.
Change “their voice” to “their voices” (They have different voices.)
“Were the only words . . .” has no subject. Either make this part of the first sentence or add a subject.
“Thanos’s whispered words.” (Add possessive – this is true for a few other occasions in this chapter)
“Loki’s eyes narrowed and cleared his throat.” This implies that Loki’s eyes clear his throat, which is not possible. Loki cleared his throat, not his eyes. Instead, pay attention to the subject. Loki’s eyes narrowed and he cleared his throat. “He” is the subject now.
. . . I am aware that English is probably not your first/main language (your profile lists your country as the Philippines), and I am sorry if writing this long list of mistakes offends you in any way. Keep writing. :)
| Guest chapter 5 . 10/16/2013
| dixonhpboosh chapter 4 . 6/26/2013
Does that mean the master of death now controls Asgard and also to trick Thor, I just cant wait for the next chapter.
| Lekaiel chapter 4 . 6/23/2013
Ooh well, that was pretty awesome! I'll be following how this goes!
| tanithlipsky chapter 4 . 5/13/2013
well, those last two sentences creeped me out.
| D chapter 4 . 5/7/2013
| Guest chapter 4 . 5/6/2013
| pucflek chapter 4 . 5/6/2013
Still good. keep em coming
| TheSecondOtherGuy chapter 4 . 5/6/2013
And I was hoping it was Ron...
| xDarklightx chapter 4 . 5/6/2013
I really like it.
| candinaru25 chapter 4 . 5/6/2013
oh is this what he had to do to get rid of his immortality?