Reviews for Doctor Who: The Lemkin Factor
Midwinter Sun chapter 44 . 4/15
Plot: 9/10. I loved the mystery and the character development. Far too many Doctor Who stories are just rewrites of already existent episodes. You stepped outside the norm and wrote your own adventure, which is something I really appreciate.
Pacing: 6/10. Although the plot, as mentioned above, was fantastic, you often spent time on rabbit trails. There were about 500 plot bunnies in this piece. You tried to do a lot at once, and it often slowed the story down, probably because…
Writing Style: 5/10. There's nothing bad, per se, about your writing style here. You frequently used adverbs and adjectives to describe characters' surroundings, but you offered little insight into the characters' surroundings and even less insight into the characters themselves. Again, not bad, but not amazing.
Grammar: 5/10. You generally did well with punctuation outside of dialogue, but you consistently characterized dialogue incorrectly. "'I saw, I saw what happened.' Amy whispered" should be "'I saw, I saw what happened,' Amy whispered".
Characterization: 10/10. You have an excellent grasp of the main characters, and you never once annoyed me with your abundance of OCs – I even felt they enhanced the story. I actually found myself liking and sympathizing with Aleena, even as I understood why Amy and Rory hated her. Particularly considering that you're writing about the Doctor, one of the most complicated characters in fictiondom, this is very, very impressive.
Overall: 7/10 (average of the above). Despite the aforementioned flaws, this was a really good story. You wrote something compelling, emotional, and interesting. You have a very good grasp of characters. Even your OCs had their own, unique voices. I enjoyed this story and will probably read the sequel at some point.

Best wishes,
Midwinter Sun
Serendipity989 chapter 44 . 10/6/2015
*Let's out a big breath...well...this story was heavy. Like really heavy. Like open mouth horror, why am I still reading this kind of horror. Your stories don't usually affect me this bad. Must be just me atm, I don't know if I want to read the sequal now or wait a while. Don't get me wrong, this is a fantastic story and your a brilliant author. A little too talented in fact. Thank God there were a few places to smile. I'm overreacting a bit. Its just been a while since I've read a story like this. Whew! Okay. C'est la vie. Moving on.
runasyoulike chapter 44 . 3/20/2015
Damn, that was good!
It really should have been an actual episode. Although perhaps not. The show can only be so ambitious, and the he gory parts would probably be rather unsuitable for a family show, but I really got a "Doctor Who Episode" vibe from it.

Before I forget to mention, I *cannot* believe I didn't associate the Vale Blades with the Valeyard until chapter 39. But I think that had more to do with the fact that I'd been mispronouncing "Valeyard" up until that point. *facepalm*

I really enjoyed the flashbacks/flash forwards that gradually created the whole picture, and you did a great job showing the cultural differences between humans and Minyans.

By the way, in chapter 27 there was another "mum/ma'am" mix-up, and the "tomb" that Aleena opens should be a "tome". Sorry, I realise that it's obnoxious to keep pointing out spelling errors, but those two actually confused me at first. I initially thought Ithican is Aleena's son and that she opens up a tomb, River Song style. xD

Anyway, this is one of the most creative Doctor Who fics I've ever read, and an amazing one. I loved it and I'm so excited about the sequel, especially because RIVER'S IN IT! In fact, I'm going to go and pounce on it right now. ;)
runasyoulike chapter 8 . 3/11/2015
A wonderful, creative story. I'm loving it so far.

Just one minor thing. I think the man meant "Yes, ma'am," in this chapter, not "Yes, mum". Well, unless it turns out that she's his mother, in which case that was completely correct and I'm going to look silly. xD

Now, I'm off to read more of this fantastic adventure.
NorthernMage chapter 44 . 1/8/2015
Just as I thought everything was going to calm, that's not happening.

Definitely going to read Civil War, this was amazing!
timano chapter 44 . 1/6/2015
This was an incredible journey-a true epic masterpiece! (No, not that Master...) I enjoyed every word. 10 out of 10 stars, plus a bonus 15 stars for emotional content that doesn't distract from the plot. I look forward to the sequel! (Which I will read soon.)
Ky Anna Rose chapter 44 . 1/2/2015
There are some stories on this site that make me laugh, that I remember fondly because of that one great line or that one great scene. This is not one of them.
There are others that make me cry, that needlessly tear apart characters with beautiful words. These stories torture for the sake of pain, for the sake of the happiness we readers find in wounded characters' slow, hesitant recovery. This story is not one them either.
And then there are the best type. These stories have laughter and tears wrapped together in a plot that sets my teeth on edge, that makes me stay up reading them the days before exams, that is as unpredictable as it is intricate as it is addictive. In these stories, each character's voice is as clear as it is on screen, each decision as believable as if we readers were making them, each line is flawlessly placed. These are the stories that I remember years later.
This story is one of them.
Thank you for sharing your world with us.
featherkitten chapter 20 . 12/23/2014
My name is rather close to Aleena...
Great chapter. I really love this story. I hope that Amy and the Doctor and Rory too of course.
semora chapter 44 . 9/28/2014
Wow. This story blew my mind. So many timey wimey twists and turns. It was great. Definitely worried about the Vale lurking out there though.
semora chapter 11 . 9/27/2014
Amy is definitely the Doctor's moral compass. He trusts her implicitly. It's just more obvious at certain times when the Doctor is struggling (ex. 'A Town Called Mercy').
semora chapter 7 . 9/27/2014
Just wanted to say that I'm loving the mystery of this story. You have the voices of the Doctor, Amy and Rory down really well. And you captured the slightly dark edge of the Doctor (that an hide underneath the lighter personality) very well. Like Rory's reaction to the Doctor demonstrating what he would look like really angry.

Can't wait to read more.
ZanPotter chapter 20 . 9/1/2014
This is the best story ever, I read it like a long time ago but didn't really least I don't think so. If I did that's great if not, I am doing it right now. Love this story, its absolutely the best.
MySoapBox chapter 44 . 8/21/2014
Loved this story. Thanks!
Sinilumi chapter 44 . 7/23/2014
"I didn't find Midnight very relaxing." What an understatement!

Are the visit to Abydos and the mention of "blowing up a sun" in an earlier chapter intentional references to Stargate?

I'd like to give constructive criticism but I can't because the story's only flaw is not being canon. I especially liked your OCs. It would be kind of nice to have some more sympathetic villains in the show as well as ones who actually try to kill the Doctor when they have the chance.
Sinilumi chapter 38 . 7/23/2014
"Nothing, I just need to look at a memory that I won't let myself touch without trying to kill me." As if time travel didn't already make the use of tenses hard enough...
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