|Reviews for The Ash Connection|
| Hawkwing-Mistkit chapter 7 . 10/27/2013
YES! Another one with Giovanni as Ash's father! I really like these fics. Just had to mention it. BTW- This is a great story, though at the beginning it was a little hard to keep track of who every one is, and still a little now, but that's because I kinda skipped a bunch of seasons... heh heh. oops. But still great story!
| Adrienne Dark chapter 33 . 10/27/2013
*crowd cheers in background* This was spectacular! o I'm so happy you're making a sequel! You definitely have the makings of a great author!
| Perosha chapter 33 . 10/26/2013
This was so much fun!
While I have a soft spot for the Pokémon anime, I've never been a particular fan of the main character kids-not that I dislike them, I've just never been particularly engaged by them. The show sits somewhere between slice-of-life and action-adventure and consequently does neither genre well, establishing an expansive world full of interesting characters that are explored only shallowly before disappearing, and struggling awkwardly whenever it tries to execute a dramatic plot for a few episodes. I've always wondered whether a fic like this might exist out there somewhere: an open-hearted love letter to the Pokémon anime that takes the best of what its characters could be and tells an engaging story about them that sacrifices neither their on-screen personalities nor the rich potential of everything left unsaid. Too many people try to "fix" the show, claiming that its deeply prosocial tone is somehow incompatible with good storytelling, so it's nice to find a fic that keeps this show's defining optimism while spinning a yarn with plenty of darker elements. It's a hard balance to strike with material like this, I think.
As I said, I've never been invested in the main characters, so I enjoyed getting to "meet" them in this story; I also thought all of the shipping was well-handled, since I don't have a dog in any of those fights and am willing to believe whatever you can sell me. While some moments, relationships, and characters were more convincing than others, the overall effect worked quite well, and I will be happy to see these kids go off on another adventure chasing Silver (and whoever else will show up in the proposed sequel). In particular, I thought Paul and his story was very effectively done; for me it managed to deepen his canon characterization without distorting it, which is the hardest thing to do with tough nuts to crack like him. It'll be interesting to see how his relationship (if you can even call it that yet) with Dawn develops in the sequel. I really enjoyed how his father's story (and Drew's story, for that matter) tied into the backstory of the plot; it managed not to feel contrived, except in the good sort of way that knotty, tangled stories are supposed to. Kudos for that.
As for criticisms, I'm happy to say that everything I think is most important to crafting a good fanfic (characterization of the main cast and plotting) was done well enough to render the point moot. I feel like all I have to comment on are stylistic elements that will fix themselves as you grow as a writer and refine your voice: a slight fattiness to the text (ex. frequently saying things like "the hair-colored trainer type/the trainer from Hometown" when "he/she" or the character's name would have sufficed), and the fact that all conversations that boiled down to an exchange of information had the same almost clinical tone, no matter who was saying what to whom. (And since there was so much information exchanged in this particular story, characters generally were defined by what they said, and not how they said it-"how they said it" was usually the same across the board. Fight scenes felt a bit stiff, as well-not as engaging as they could be.) The swearing never worked for me, either; plugging in "Mew" and "Arceus" where a "real" person would use "God" or "Jesus" never once sounded natural, since there's no reason to think that people in the Pokémon world would swear by those creatures in exactly that way. "Cursing" is a surprisingly complex expression of cultural norms and taboos, and for the sequel to this story I challenge you to think of something a bit more creative on that front than just using "Mew" and "Arceus" as standalone swear words. Of course, I realize that's also a trope in Pokémon fics besides this one, so I don't really expect it to be changed; I just wanted to note that it sounded very hokey and forced to me, right up until the very end.
Again, however, I feel that everything above is just stylistic, not fundamental, and these things will naturally get better as you develop your voice as a writer; they definitely take a backseat to the positives. Your style and voice will always continue to refine and become stronger the more you write, but if you can't plan a plot or get inside characters' heads then the most skillfully crafted prose in the world won't save you. (I've read more than one Pokémon fic that, while an extraordinary piece of writing that I myself could never hope to emulate, nevertheless fell flat *as a fanfic* because it just didn't make sense or feel right for the characters in question. Good writing is only about good writing, but good fanfic is about *more* than good writing, and most fanfic is so bad that people often forget that in their excitement at finding something that, lo and behold, 'has all the words spelled right and everything'!)
Anyway...that's about all I have to say! You'll forgive me for not doing chapter-by-chapter reviews, since I don't read or enjoy fiction on a chapter-by-chapter basis; I prefer to read and judge the sum of the parts, so I waited until TAC was (almost) done to start on it. Thanks very much for this story-as I said at the beginning, it was enormous fun-and I look forward to seeing what all of the kids get up to next. (And if you've made me interested in the kids, well, that's a feat that speaks volumes right there!)
| Great chapter 33 . 10/26/2013
You know, this story is a master piece. Its well written, it thrills you while reading it. Also, I love how the characters and pairings are well developed, although I felt Ash was a bit too dense on the, ah, relationship department. Oh well, I did enjoy his character, a lot. Although the story is finished, and with most of the plot-questions filled, I would love for a sequel, maybe of why is Ash a chosen one in the pokemon world, with a mix of Giovanni escaping his prison-cell, and, finally, with Silver staying. Will look forward to the rest of your stories.
| magical love chapter 33 . 10/26/2013
Can't stop reading this sooo cool. I wonder how this could be like a movie like deleted scenes or bloopers.
| videogamenerd101 chapter 33 . 10/23/2013
Dammit, stupid iPod. :/ I'll pick off from where I stopped.
(…that underlying hope; oh God, it was just perfect): everything you did and have done contributed to the beauty of the scene. You're an amazing writer, you know? ;)
I can't wait for the sequel. Knowing you, it'll be just as great as this one. :)
| videogamenerd101 chapter 33 . 10/23/2013
…I can't believe this is over. It's really, actually, finally over. :O Lu, you have no idea how happy but melancholic I am right now. That ending was absolutely beautiful—from your writing style, the characters' actions, especially the emotion behind your writing (that feeling of friendship and trust with that underlying hope; oh G
| Anejve chapter 33 . 10/23/2013
Wow... Just wow... This story is truly one of the best I've ever read! And when I read that there will be a sequel (or maybe even is already) I was so happy! You're a really talented writer, and so if Coffee Craft. I'll be looking forward for the sequel, and if it has already started, I can't wait to begin reading that one too!
| smartcat9 chapter 33 . 10/22/2013
This is by far the best fanfiction story I have ever read. The details, the characters, and the story itself is award worthy. Thank you very much for writing this story.
| Guest chapter 33 . 10/22/2013
holy fuck that was adorable
| Togekiss the keyblade wielder chapter 5 . 10/22/2013
This story is really giving me palpitations. Its soooooo good.
| MobiusGhostOne chapter 33 . 10/22/2013
The best story, not just fan fiction, I have ever read. Fantastic job on it and I can't wait for the sequel.
| Unused Profile 10756382 chapter 33 . 10/22/2013
So I don't even know where to begin. I seriously don't. I feel like all the questions I've constantly spammed you with on Tumblr kind of replaced most of the logic in my reviews, being that half of them were gushy and feelsy about the Pokemon cast. xP But this, by far, has to be my favorite story ever on this website.
I had been waiting for a story like this to be written ever since I got into the Pokemon fandom! The canon, the cast being brought together, the popular ships being put in character, the flashbacks, the "Chosen One" prophecy, giving Gary a love interest and having that love interest play a huge role in the plot (and be a very likeable character as well), just...everything was beyond amazing. There wasn't one part that I didn't like, and giving sufficient attention to each character, even many of the minor ones (depending on what their role was) showed how much effort and thought you put into the story's development. And Ash...thank you for inspiring others to believe in Ash. I thought at some points in this fandom that I was one of very few who still like him as a character.
I want to thank you SO much for writing this. I know this sounds a little cheesy, but it's basically been a part of my life every Friday! I remember being so anxious for my job training in the spring one day and seeing the update for a new Chapter (I think it was either 1 or 2) totally made that stressful day so much better. Every Friday after that was even better than the first! I'm definitely going to miss the suspense I had each week, but now I'm so happy that I could read it all the way through! And I am SO excited for the sequel AND the Flarebustershipping fic! Omg.
By the way, I wanted to say two specific things for this chapter: The first is that I love how you made Iris the first to point out the shooting star. It brought me back to early BW when she and Ash first met. The second is thank you for incorporating the wedding. And that's totally not for the reason that the Pokeguys look sexy in suits... *coughPaulDrewandGaryespeciallycough*
Thank you again! You are a beautiful writer and I know you're going to continue to be throughout your life, whether it be writing in the real world or writing a "super popular fanfic" just like this one.
| cutiepiepo2 chapter 33 . 10/22/2013
This was beautiful and i can't tell you how much i have enjoyed this story you seriously need to become an author because you are amazing and i love you so much and all of this hard you've done is amazing and its like "penut butter" because its absolutely ridiculous but i love it and your such a great author and i can't wait for the sequel! ill be cheering you on i love ya! keep being awesome!
| Silver Shihouin chapter 33 . 10/22/2013
i might cry over this... its so amazing...
i hope u next story is as secesfull as this one
awesome as always