Reviews for The Camera Loves You
Guest chapter 37 . 5/3
One of the best stories I've read in a long time ! Loved it ! Thank you so much
ManwithaPlan113 chapter 37 . 3/18
I can see why this is so popular
Bearmauls chapter 37 . 2/15
That was pretty excellent. It actually felt a lot like a Tomb Raider or Uncharted game, with the world-hopping they did. I liked the characterization you gave, especially to Sam, who we don't learn that much about in the game. Gonna have to read the rest of your stuff :)
milagglad chapter 37 . 1/18
I like...
magusxamus chapter 26 . 1/6
Chapter 26 was intense on so many levels. This story is going to be the death of me. But in all seriousness this is phenomenal I love Lara and Sam's characterizations. Although the slow burn on their relationship is an exquisite form of torture.
DarkChampion chapter 37 . 11/21/2016
Ahhhhhh. This was a fantastic way to spend my evening. You did amazing on the development, the way you gave everyone a personality was nice.
The Fox Familiar chapter 8 . 11/17/2016
Chapters 36 – 37

-

Sam is described as being terrible with relationships, and confesses that she cheated on a man she was dating while in India. So, not only is she unfaithful, she’s a general slut and a bitch to those around her. If a man has no reason to be cheated on, why cheat on him? Why is it bad when men do it, but empowering when a woman does it? Why is Sam given a free pass? Oh, right, for the sake of the plot. For the sake of convenience, Sam’s father is also OK with them being lesbians. He must be so proud knowing that his daughter isn’t going to reproduce and contribute to Japan’s failing birthrates. But hey, tolerance!

“I don’t want people discussing my sexuality” – They already do, and the headline from CNN doesn’t help. Or did she forget that already? Did you?

So we reach the end. Lara conciliates with her waifu, all is done, and the villain undramatically goes up in a pillar of flame. Natla probably isn’t dead or she’ll come back in the sequel; who knows. What I do know is that the people who plot-picked or nit-picked didn’t do it enough or that you purposely ignored it. Let me start.

From the beginning, Lara was pressured into this gay relationship with Sam. When Sam was not getting jealous over every little thing, she was saying how she doesn’t want to lose Lara. Her attachment issues go from her molesting Lara while drunk, bragging about her sexual escapades and infidelities with other men; talking about how nasty her father is despite him pampering her and giving her everything she asks for; and when the ball gets rolling, Lara cannot stop asking whether her waifu is safe from harm, not wanting to repeat the Yamatai incident, which she keeps repeating over and over again. Sam has clear attachment issues and an unhealthy set of possessiveness. When she is not asking Lara about her sexuality, she is pressuring her into it. And Lara, no smarter than a goat with an ax in its head, goes along with it.

(I should also mention that, in one chapter, Sam’s feet touched the Midas statue and her shoe turns to gold; other parts of her body do not. Looks like you forgot this segment.)

The story was just a rip-off of the game with the modern version of Lara. When they aren’t jumping from location to location, NOTHING happens. The first eight chapters were about Lara recuperating from her injuries. Despite the doctor saying she needed weeks for the stitches to heal, she goes and does all this adventuring as if she has a clean bill of health. Natla’s motives were dead clear from the beginning: she was using Lara for her own gains and planned to use Sam as insurance to prevent Lara from breaking away from her. Despite this, Lara asks what and why Natla is doing what she’s doing and constantly asks why she’d use Sam as bait. It’s pretty obvious just from the writing. Either Lara was being willfully stupid, or it’s the fault of the author for not catching this plot hole. The entire predicament could’ve been avoided had Lara listened to her gut, but it wasn’t used aside from the cushy butterflies she got around Sam.

Lara was also a complete dimwit. Sam tells her how much she cares for her – when she doesn’t – and Lara falls head over heels for Natla, and was almost willing to sleep with her WITH SAM WATCHING. Lara has no agency or shame; she’s just this sexual being easily manipulated with no soul or motivation of her own. Sam is a complete hindrance to her, and any action was deliberately passed over for the sake of the bad romance. Larson is just your typical chauvinist and was good for nothing until he died. His motivations were quite clear, but Lara, going full retard, couldn’t figure out what he was up to. Despite all the evidence and dialogue around the Scion, she still doesn’t know what it is.

And that brings me to the next big plot hole. We never learned about Atlantis until you told the audience you were taking the characters there. There was no build up and no excitement, because it was wasted on domestics between Sam and Lara that was painstakingly extended over ten chapters. You may write 1.3 million words in 28 months, but that doesn’t mean all of it is worth reading. Most of it, and this is the shortest story, is useless.

The sequel is double the length and I assume it will follow the same plot and direction. Natla’s reveal and death were exactly like Akasha’s death in The Queen of the Damned, and like Anne Rice you focus on the flowery writing but the characters don’t do anything until it is convenient. Pierre is evil yet dies; Larson is somewhat anti-hero and dies; Natla dies in a burst of flames, and everything goes back to normal. No lasting consequences. No real threat. But a lot of politics and dialogue that show me that these are not real people or, if they are, the most unlikeable people ever.

It’s pure soap opera ham, and I’m being generous here. Lara’s dumbness and Sam’s obsessive behaviour speak volumes. You may have gotten fanart and people adoring this story, but I see it for what it is: lesbian romance trash. You are not smart enough to think of the CONSEQUENCES, but you’re dumb enough to sell the romance, which people buy, because this pairing is what the main writer of the Tomb Raider reboot admitted she wanted.

I still have the sequel to do, and I will go into more of your politics there. But for now, all I’m getting is this shitty GLAAD handbook with these chicks named Lara and Sam. Who are they, again?
The Fox Familiar chapter 7 . 11/17/2016
Chapters 17 – 35

-

As expected, someone had to correct you on what is taught to archaeology undergrads, because you didn’t bother to do any research yourself. You just winged it with the GLAAD book.

Desert Eagles pack some heavy recoil. Lara would have to work with them more often to build up the muscle needed to absorb it, and more so if she’s double-wielding them.

“This one looks like my abusive father” – Her father spoils her rotten. You mean to tell me she has Extreme Daddy Issues? I’ll have you know that’s another common LGBT trope.

C2 is an outdated form of explosive. That’s why C4 is widely used – because of its clay shape and resistance.

Wait. Lara doesn’t know about Peru or its laws, but she knows about Vilcabamba? That doesn’t make sense. Either she does or doesn’t know about it and you conveniently forgot it. Then, when she sees the T-rex, she’s more concerned about her breasts than about taking it down. It’s nice how you’re just copying and pasting the game, it’s not as if originality matters.

Larson almost kills Lara and she’s totally OK with it? Wow. The logic behind it all. Besides that, Lara is going to strip in front of Natla, Natla is going to make demands of her and use Sam as insurance, and despite all of that, Lara just wants the sex. If I swapped the genders and Natla was a man, all of the actions Natla does to Lara would be considered sexual harassment bordering on rape. But it’s fine when lesbians do it. It’s love.

“I don’t understand why the woman would have done this to Sam” – Uh, it’s pretty obvious. She knows Sam is Lara’s anchor baby. Lara is going to do whatever to make sure Sam is safe. I mean, Lara already contemplated this in Chapter 19, but she seems to have forgotten about it. Then, she finds out Le Grande Conspiracie with the Frenchie, uses the coordinates to the temple to open the Wifi (like no one saw that coming) and has Larson turn into the good guy and help her out.

I should also like to mention that you can’t shoot inside a helicopter. Not only will it deafen you, the bullets/shells can damage the interior. Would be terrible if their helicopter were to crash and burn up before they even go anywhere.

“I’d just been so blind and stupid about her” – Yeah, no shit Lara. All you cared about was getting in her pants. No one is surprised over this. No one.

“It didn’t make any sense for Natla to drug Sam” – Are you seriously writing this again? It’s BLATANTLY OBVIOUS WHY NATLA DRUGGED HER. Wow. That feeling when the reader knows more about the story than the author!

Lara has a Prophetic Dream where some Dead Priest tells her that Time is Running Out. All clichés. In fact, it reminds me of Assassin’s Creed. We later find out that Natla really IS a lesbian sexual harasser, but that doesn’t mean anything because it’s tolerant and lovely and diverse. Like I said, swap the genders and see what the reaction is. And what is Sam’s reaction to that? Get drunk and forget about it! Because logic!

“Because I’m just so straight as an arrow” – Because says character like admitting you slept with tons of girls and guys in a drunken orgy. Man, she must be carrying the HPV babies big time.

It’s clear that zubba didn’t do her job on plot-picking. I found many plot holes that were never mended, precisely because the readers were too focused on the pairing. Naturally, you mention the Eidos poll and how many people (namely, non-fan female ‘gamers’) want Lara to be with Sam. That’s what Ms. Pratchett wanted to do, because of tolerance.

So much for Pierre the Big Bad. He just says a few evil lines and gets killed off. Who was he, again? Natla turns out to Know Everything the protagonist does and concocts some huge plot about how she’s going to get her way. Oh, and she also sexually humiliate Sam. Muh diversity!

“Aside from all that macho-chauvinist crap he was always spouting” – Yup, someone’s going full feminist here.

“Can’t we stay here? Fuck the world.” – Aren’t they running away from Natla’s henchmen? Nice of them to dawdle and have sex in Jacuzzis. I’m glad their pursuers are patient and willing to let them do that. Really, what good folks.

Lara is hard on Sam for not being able to read people. Well, based on the mental gymnastics Lara does with those she interacts wish, she should probably take her own advice.

“With that sort of opinion of women, you’re all lucky I don’t know how to captain a trawler” – That’s damn ironic, considering you’re open to ‘refugees’ that see Western women as whores, but hey, that’s for later.

Another centaur fight? Lady, do you realize you can only make action scenes relevant if they have something new in them? If you’re just copying and pasting, that’s a sign of laziness. It doesn’t matter, anyways, because Larson dies. Lara is concerned about reviving him, but she never really cared because he was a chauvinist pig. Because that’s how men are, yo.

The hallucination scene with Tihocan and Qualopec and their sister was straight out of cliché. I mean, it’s right out of one of those B-movies. I think of the newer version of ‘Clash of the Titans’ and that ridiculously hammy dialogue. That’s how bad it was. Then we have Natla giving her evil speech, nearly killing Sam, and threatening to take over the world. Her speech reminds me of Akasha’s speeches in ‘The Queen of the Damned’, and it’s just as bad. If this is meant to send chills down my spine, it doesn’t. It’s just hammy.

“Are you really attracted to women? Not just messing around?” – Yeah, as if it’s not that obvious. We aren’t dumb. Or I’m not, at least.

“The sounds you’re making...it’s so fucking hot” – More like fucking boring. Jesus, at least invest in a strap-on. And in the bathtub, no less. Hope the bubbles don’t get up their nose.

Since I’m nearing the end, I’m going to give a final summary before moving on to the sequel. I won’t read all of it – this one already bored me to tears – but I’ll read at least half and move on to some of your Overwatch stuff. Nonetheless, I’m going to give you a proper review before I leave, so you’ll know where you went wrong – both as an author and a person. I won’t leave you hanging.
The Fox Familiar chapter 6 . 11/17/2016
Chapters 9 – 16

-

If no one cared about what happened on Yamatai, why go to such great lengths to interview survivors? Surely, it’s one of the biggest pieces of history there is and it would be an absolute sensation among Oriental history and archaeological lovers. If the entire story was based on Lara being one of the survivors and a Croft, couldn’t they have waited until she fully recuperated or at least had a Skype chat with her if they were that desperate? And wouldn’t Lara want to debrief and get what she found out there into the academic circles? They’re the ones she needed to convince!

“I just don’t know anything about myself anymore” – Clichéd to the max. How many chapters were spent on her talking about her injuries? Eight? I’d dare say that’s enough. Add on the obligatory nightmare cliché, and we’ve got the whole shebang.

Are you aware what the weather is like in Croatia? It’s not exactly the Bahamas. Yes, it can get warm and hot in the summer, but cold in the winter. Not a prime destination for tanning.

50,000 results for one of the top Asiatic firms losing money would be more like 5,000,000. Since Sam’s father’s influence extends beyond Japan, it wouldn’t surprise me if Forbes even discussed it. But there are more results for Lara’s alleged break-up with her lesbian friend, because only Americans (and Aussies) care for that, eh? And it has to be The Daily Mail. And, more succinctly, a cliché.

I suspect Natla Technologies is going to be the Big Bad in this, and, along with threatening Sam’s fortune, they’re going to do something else to Lara, as well. I can already sense where it is going.

“My eyes kept being drawn to her legs...it was making me feel as if she were undressing in front of me” – This is something a man would think. Despite Lara’s reservations and confirmation that Natla may be directly or indirectly involved with the collapse of Sam’s family shares, she’s still drawn into this woman. I’m guessing her feelings trump facts, right?

Lara, while dreaming man-dreams about a Nordic woman she wishes to undress, complains – or rather, you do – about Nordic Altanteans. Maybe it would be better if they were all sex-positive, non-binary individuals, eh?

“Old enough to strip an MI6”? Huh? Is this a reference to how they can take down British intelligence agencies efficiently, or what? Because the metaphor doesn’t make much sense.

“I want to have ten thousand of her babies” – You need a man for that, honey. And a turkey baster.

“It is actually possible to admire someone without sleeping with them” – In which a character points out the obvious.

“I had never been at all bothered by gay people or the whole concept of it” – In which the author plants her own political views into the mind of the character. Despite Lara having boyfriends, she decides to go full lesbian, because sexuality is fluid and not fluid, right?

“...opened the floodgates to every lesbian porn movie ever in my mind” – I reckon you’ve seen a lot. Safe to say this story doesn’t even get to the point of it, like most pornos do.

“I just always assumed I’d get married and have children” – Here we go with that Red Herring.

Making a character appear 100% straight, yet we readers know it’s the opposite. Don’t waste your time.

“She was flirting with me” – I like how Lara’s views of other women are so much like that of a man’s. But not even men are THIS horny, and besides, it not at all contributes to the stereotypes that lesbians always think about sex and dream about having beautiful women. Right?

“I wasn’t so keen on the concept of spelunking” – Dude. This is Lara Croft we’re talking about. What do you mean she doesn’t like spelunking?

“I was unfamiliar with the laws of Peru” – Not sure why. It’s a huge site for artifacts. And Lara is a bibliophile; she’s bound to have read what Peruvians feel about their sacred treasures.

Wow, Sam is sure being a bitch. She is so possessive over Lara and they don’t even have any chemistry together. Any insult, perceived or real, she gets upset over. Which is what real lesbians do, ironically. Except the difference is, Sam doesn’t start throwing punches. At least not yet. If that doesn’t add salt to the wound, Lara goes around and almost has sex with Natla – in a public booth – right in front of Sam. I am so glad that Lara is faithful and clearly cares about Sam, whom she can’t help but dream about fondling her breasts. Since Lara is this easily manipulated – well, it’s safe to say she deserves what she gets, doesn’t she?

BTW, that’s called sexual harassment. Swap the genders and see how that would settle with you.

“If someone had asked me a month ago whether or not you’d go for girls, I’d say, ‘Nope” – Yes, because changing a character’s sexuality and basing the entire story around it makes for a great social commentary, doesn’t it? This is what you write about, so expect the consequences.

I’m glad Sam, despite her incessant whining about Lara wanting to shag Natla, her boss she barely knows and just had reservations over (and who nearly brought down Sam’s family company) is already okay with it? Yeah, no. No one would really act this way, unless it’s a free and open relationship – AKA being a slut. Or you’d politely call it polyamory, which is the same thing. Lara clearly has attachment issues, as does Sam. What a wonderful world.

“The last one was about the US election process” – I bet the recent one had your jimmies in a tussle, eh?

“I’m just so scared I’ll lose you” – Enough with the cheese. We know Sam doesn’t really love Lara and she needs a tether just to be reined in. There’s a fine line between being free-spirited and being the town prostitute. When Sam is not talking about sex, she’s wanting Lara to obey her every command.

“I’ll totally cheer for you in next year’s pride march” – Jesus, it never ends, does it? Do you really think your GLAAD textbook knowledge of gay affairs is going to impress anyone? Because it certainly isn’t doing it to me.

Do you realize you can’t have normal conversations in choppers? The vibrations from the rotors drown out voices. And why is Chamberlain asking about Yamatai, when people KNEW it existed and what groups of people lived there, but didn’t know its exact location? Plot hole, here I come.
If Sam’s going to be that much of a weakling, then she should never have come on the trip at all. All she is going to do is drag Lara down, and Lara is going to fret over her every five minutes. That’s not healthy behaviour.

Despite Lara already having experience with Yamatai, Peru is described as her ‘first solo’ expedition – but she’s not going solo. She has a complete team with her. It’s already obvious Natla is going to eventually evolve into the Queen of Atlantis and make long, winded threats about so-and-so, and we’ll see plenty of wannabe angsty moments between Lara and Sam. I’m already sick of these two, because when they’re both not thinking about sex, they’re being easily seduced by other women. That’s not indicative of a strong personality. Unless they’re all succubae, then this plot doesn’t work.

But who says it does? Lesbians, man! Everyone loves the boobies!
The Fox Familiar chapter 5 . 11/17/2016
Chapters 1 – 8

-

I remember reviewing this story some time ago. My impression then was unfavourable, but you recently came back to me due to a picture I saw – a fanart done for one of your works. Then, you offered readers to take a look at your published work and author page. I did so, and needless to say, I was not at all impressed with what I saw. However, since FFnet is like Goodreads in which it does not allow excessive criticism on one’s politics, I will try to save my overall criticism of your politics to the end. The rest will have to do with your interpretations of gender and sexuality, which, despite you saying that it ‘needs to be talked about’, and that you write ‘because you have something to say’, it ends up being the essential textbook of LGBT issues. So, with that being said, let me start on your work objectively.

To begin, Yamatai was not a ‘newly discovered’ island. It was well known to Japanese and Chinese historians. The debate was where it was located. Second, most ships that were moored off the coast would usually have no bodies in them, as Himiko’s warriors – or the storms – would slaughter them all.

Lara had a perforated bowel and was in a ‘rather bad way’? Dude, that’s not something to joke about. Plus, septicaemia is one of the more popular known med terms out there – it’s just blood poisoning. Lara loves reading, and Sam does to an extent, so they’d know what it is. If Sam is also pulling on Lara’s stitches, I’d think Lara’s reaction would be more vocal than ‘shut up and bear it’.

“I’d don’t know what I’d do if” – OUR LOVE SHALL ENDURE THE HEAVENS.

“I’d worried it would be the last time I’d hear it” – Clearly Lara wasn’t in that much danger, if they waited to pump her full of antibiotics instead of going right into the surgery. So she was in no threat of death. But still. The cheese.

Al Jazeera as a news source? Might as well call the Saudi Royal family for coverage if you want to use that. CNN does an interview and not even five minutes after they do it, they deliberately edit it to show Sam and Lara as some form of lesbian lovers. Echoing Ms. Pratchett, are you?

“Gay marriage is kind of a big international issue at the moment” – Because nothing says virtue signalling like forcing an evolutionary dead end on nations that don’t want it. Wouldn’t help Japan’s birthrate in any case.

Sam tells Lara that people don’t care about history and archaeology – true enough on their own – but that people are going to care about Lara the person, and her lesbian lover. I think that’s better translated to: It’s Better When a Sexual Minority Does it trope.

“I always seemed to end up with my nose in her hair” – Even if this were a straight story, I would be near close to driving a stake into my heart with this sappy monologue. Lesbian stories just seem to jack it up to eleven, and boy, is it ever lame.

“Lucy Liu is bi” – Not really. She’s been married to men several times and recently had a kid. So she’s not full lesbian. I take it you’ve been reading Hollywood’s LGBT roster for celebrities? Next time you’ll talk to me about George Clooney.

The plot thickens with the flowers. Along with other things, of course.

“There’s this thing called consent” – Only if it includes certain people. Sam was going around lifting Lara’s shirt off and cozying with her in the hospital bed when she clearly wasn’t supposed to. It just doesn’t count because Lara nor Sam are fresh young schoolgirls (points if you get the reference).

I don’t understand why Lara is shocked at paparazzi mobs. Her father likely had to deal with them, and she probably did too when she was young. Later, she gets a phone call from Mr. Mysterious, and Lara makes the threat that she’s killed men like him. Not that I don’t mind that line, but given the context it sounds like she’s going SCUM manifesto on all men. I reckon I’ll see most men in this story assholes, douchebags, or otherwise useless creatures that pale in comparison to the awesome lesbian pair. But I needn’t get ahead of myself yet.

I don’t think people would blink at Lara using her father’s money for expeditions. It’s her own funds; that actually makes her seem more independent and not reliable on government stipends. The media would know who she is. They aren’t dumb.

Later, when Lara cozies up in Sam’s house, she finds a vibrator. Lara remarks that Sam has high libido and shags men all the time, despite Sam being the sort of girl to be choosy with her men. Of course this is all redundant; it’s the trope of Totally Straight but Secretly Gay, and we all know how it is going to turn out, so don’t try it.

“I knew she’d had a couple of threesomes, but I hadn’t. I had boyfriends.” – Please see comment above.

Why does Lara have to dodge around Sam to talk to a sponsor? Sam’s not stupid. She’d know Lara’s primary job is finding treasure and making money. She’s a good investment. Sam’s bouts of jealousy are turning into bouts of obsession, which isn’t good to have in any relationship.
Bite marks and bruises are really not unavoidable. Lara would know she’d have them, and she WOULD be in a hospital gown, remember?

“I glanced at her lips and went red again” – Definitely jacking up the sappy tropes, eh? I’m going to see more in the sequel.

“I rather liked that it wasn’t a man” – But of course. We always have to have subliminal sexism against men in lesbian stories.

“My blush returned. ‘My God, this woman.’” – Look, you’re really not helping the trope that lesbians go nuts over really feminine women. You’re making Lara seem like a horny teenage boy. I suspect this woman is eventually going to turn out to be evil and her entire research corporation is involved in some really shady deals. Am I right?

“I totally adored Sam, why was I keeping this from her?” – For the sake of a bad plot, Lara. For the sake of a bad plot. And Atlantis. Because Atlantis, yo.

Wait. How’d the scholarly articles about Yamatai and its artifacts ever show up on Cambridge if Lara didn’t have time to write them? She was healing, remember? How’d they get there, by way of ghost authors?

“There are so many foreigners in Tokyo you’ll just be another Westerner!” – Westerners or foreigners cannot legally get citizenship in Japan. If they are part of a military base or internship or some other business related affair, they can stay in the country, but they cannot legally be citizens. Lara would stick out like a sore thumb, and she’s a Croft no less.

Lara was told not to do any extreme physical activity, and Sam is so concerned about her health she takes her to a nightclub. Might as well take her to the zoo or some museum, instead of RIPPING OPEN HER STITCHES.

“If a man had done this to me, I’d have kneed him in the groin and punched him in the jaw” –
Typical. But since it’s her lesbian best friend who is drunk and is dressed rather provocatively and took Lara to a club when Lara wasn’t supposed to go there, that’s OK! Now she finds out that Lara signed a contract without her consent and their relationship is at risk! Oh noez! Whatever shall we do?

But it’ll be OK, because the magical lesbians will save the day. Everything will be hunky dory. We just need to be open minded and tolerant.

Inb4 sidling up to someone who is still healing from serious injuries while completely drunk and the other person frozen in place. What was that about consent, again? Right. It only matters if it’s the man doing it. I completely forgot.
magusxamus chapter 15 . 10/31/2016
First off wow the whole Lara dealing with her sexuality thing I never thought I'd relate to THE Lara Croft. You humanized her even more than the games and the reboot did a decent job there already so damn!

Also its SO gay so gay! I love it!

But its also frustrating! Sam is clearly thirsty for Lara but all the angst I'm in agony but I must push through. I need to see where it goes... hopefully a better place than the comics.
Alethyia chapter 37 . 7/18/2016
I'm late on this but glad I read it! Amazing story. I couldn't stop reading and whenever I had to I couldn't wait to continue. Love how you stayed so true to the characters. It's both funny and touching to see Lara discover her sexuality and love for Sam. It was also nice to have Sam save Lara and the ending showing Sam is capable of these things in her own way! Thanks for the great fic. I'm gonna continue reading The Dreaming.
Alethyia chapter 30 . 7/17/2016
Yeeeees. Yes yes yes. Yes.
noonetofake chapter 25 . 7/6/2016
oh God im reading this for the fourth time
R.Misfit chapter 1 . 6/30/2016
I am soooooooo happy I found this fic again! I read this, about a year and a half a go (March 2015ish) and I LOVED IT but silly me, I was new to and didn't know about favoriting and whatnot because I didn't have an account. So this began my on-off search for this. could not remember the title for the life of me lol until I stumbled upon it browsing my one of my favorite writer's favorites list. so yes. I am going to spend all night BINGE reading because I have waited so long to read this again!
599 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »