|Reviews for Swallows on the Beam|
| BlueRedRose chapter 23 . 7/14
I finished chapters 22 and 23 not thirty minutes ago so this is going to be a stream of consciousness and review without much planning, if that is ok. My sister was asleep so I had to hold back my excitement when Lan Fan hit the bullseye through the grass hoop, but that part was definitely one of my favorites!
This story, honestly, could stand on it's own. It is so wonderfully crafted that I forgot, halfway through the second chapter, that it was an FMA fanfiction(despite being on ff). I know next to nothing about the architectural or social structure of Eastern countries, but Swallows has a...genuine feel about it when it comes to these things. I love it, I love reading Swallows, and I cant help but feel jealous that you are so gifted in writing.
The chapter soundtracks was confusing at first but once I started listening to one song on loop until the "break line," it fell into place and gave the story an "atmosphere," if you will. This was very bold, and the thought put into the songs for each chapter is appreciated. One scene that I wish had a song accompanying it was when Peng left for his home country(I substituted "Homeward"), because it left me feeling awful for days. Make me feel worse, damnit!
But in all seriousness, Swallows has been on my mind for the month that I've been reading it. I thank you so much for the experience, and even if you never update it again, 23 has been a great stopping place. It almost says "I am a somber goodbye, but not forever. The journey will continue somewhere, sometime..."
| Shitposter-kun chapter 23 . 5/31
Try not to let this get to your head, but, this may very well be the best story I've read on this site. This has done what all fanfictions should strive to do: expand the mythos/universe of the source material in a plausible and consistent fashion. Xing has, quite simply, come alive in this with all the intrigue and the OCs have become so real it's almost disheartening to remember that this isn't canon to FMA. And, of course, there's Lan Fan, who has developed so nicely and serves as a great analogue for the story (especially with regard to the Fengs).
I do have two gripes with the story, though: one being that Trener's cultists seem to be okay with the use of alkahestry despite the generally accepted Ishvalan belief that alchemy (which I'm using as a parent term for the eastern and western varieties) is an affront to Leto when Trener is styling himself as some kind of messiah for Letoism. You may have addressed this and I promptly forgot, in which case, I apologize. The other is that the reformist element (Ling, Bao Zhang, Lady Song) are universally more benevolent than their more conservative counterparts, I mean I know that the Dowager Empress is a queen bitch extraordinaire par excellence but I feel that there isn't really any other named character in that corner bar Shen Liu, whose entire existence has been condensed into a throbbing vein in his temple.
Anyway, enough fluffy rambling. In conclusion: fuck you and the horse you rode in on, this story is so rich and immersive that you've pretty much spoiled anything else regarding Xing for me from now on.
| caspasta chapter 23 . 5/20
CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER :)
| not paranoid enough chapter 23 . 3/9
This story is crazy good. It's long and languid, but so rich and insightful. It's a fascinating world, things seen from Lan Fan's perspective. She's an odd duck, but you've done a fantastic job getting in her head. I really like how you're drawing out the characters and their relationship, moving them from a situation where they wouldn't ever be together to one where it actually makes sense. Their development is fantastic.
Hope you update sooner rather than later :D
| Angel of Pandemonium chapter 10 . 2/21
this is getting so fun.
| hamsterboy3 chapter 23 . 1/2
I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH. Probably the best I've ever read.
The amount of characters and locations can be a bit overwhelming but that just brings it closer to the FMA storyline and universe. Your attention to detail and even the small ones create an unique feel that is FMA yet not. If there ever was an official spin-off manga for FMA, it would be based on this.
I really hope there is an update soon... I need to see the outcome of such a lovely crafted story.
| lollipop-chan chapter 23 . 12/29/2016
i cannot begin to describe how obsessed with this story i am. from you're writing skills, to the world you have built around the country of Xing, this is honest to god one of the best pieces of writing i ever read! i look forward to the next update :)
| Kaderin chapter 23 . 11/24/2016
Words can't express how disappointed I am that I've finally come to the (current) end of this brilliant story. I only started reading last night and I've neglected all the things I should be doing because this has just taken over my life. It was definitely worth it though! Fictional political intrigue fascinates me, there's very few things I enjoy more than reading about it when its this well written. I also love how you write Ling and Lan Fan. And their entire relationship and all their interactions. I love everything in this story actually, so much that I'm having trouble separating it all (Does that make sense? I can't tell.), but thats what I think of first.
You've definitely got me hooked on this story and I'll be impatiently waiting for the next update no matter how far away it is!~ Now I'm afraid I'll have to go stalk your profile to find your other fics because if they're anything like this one I know I'll love them. Characters/Fandom isn't an issue for me, especially since I didn't know much about Lan Fan or Ling before I started reading this and now I love them! So yeah, thank you for writing this (and for reading my rambling comment thing with too many parenthesis).
| Colorless Butterfly chapter 23 . 11/22/2016
This is honestly still my favorite story. I don't have time to write a super long review, but I just wanted to say that I appreciate all of the hard work you're putting into this story. The politics, characterization, writing - it's all absolutely amazing. And the UST. Also very amazing.
Thank you so much for writing this absolutely amazing story. I will be eagerly looking forward to an update!
| red-rocks11 chapter 23 . 11/4/2016
So glad you updated! I really like how you write all the interactions Lan Fan has with everyone (especially her moments with Ling). I think you do such a great job. Can't wait until you post the next chapter. I understand that life happens so you might not post for a long time but I look forward to to it!
| LEGNA chapter 23 . 10/30/2016
I AM SHITTING MY PANTS OMG
THIS STORY IS SO GOOD AND YOU UPDATED HOLY CRAP
I AM SO EXCITED IM GONNA EAT A CHAIR I SWEAR IT SHU OF THE WIND
OH GOD CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!
| Guest chapter 23 . 10/26/2016
I just discovered this fic and it is a FANTASTIC read! I've been obsessed with this for the last couple of weeks (unfortunately I had to read chapters in bits and pieces as life allowed, but couldn't put stop!). The world you have created and the way you describe it is just... Amazing. And the relationships between the characters (FMA & original) is so fleshed out. The FMA characters are so in character and you have written your original characters so week I feel like I know them. I can't wait to see where the rest of the story goes.
| rinxxxav chapter 23 . 10/19/2016
Thanks you so much for updating! I wish you would write something like the last part but through Ling point of view. At any rate, I would be waiting eagerly for the next chapter!
| LunaBianca chapter 23 . 10/14/2016
Thank you for the update! I am so invested, as always. ;)
Friendships are opening to Lan Fan in all directions and I hope they will be true. I adore scenes with Ling and Mei, or any time His Eminence is riled up. We haven't seen much of Huian Yao recently so I'm expecting (eagerly anticipating?) the next chapter will deliver new reasons to loathe her...
Thanks again for the read!
| Suzi chapter 23 . 10/13/2016
Thank you so much for updating! I can't wait for the next chapter and Lan Fan being part of the race for the Lotus Hall. I hope you enjoyed your time in Japan.