|Reviews for The Bee Hunters|
| LoveGlutton chapter 7 . 1/3
I can just pinpoint the exactmoment where his resolve starts crackng
| LoveGlutton chapter 6 . 1/3
Aaaaaah not my usual dish but still delicious none the less
| When the Moon Met the Sun chapter 9 . 7/17/2014
This is absolutely incredible! I have adored GauisxSumia since I paired them together during my first run-and red headed Cynthia? She'd perfect! But I digress. I've greatly enjoyed the background story you've given for Gaius and I think that uncle Benji was definitely integral to the story as it's been written so far, so I'm glad he got some screentime here (I'm curious as to what led Benji away from home, since he's clearly being deceptive...).
My favorite thing about your writing is your ability to capture both Gaius and Sumia's voices so well. Gaius is sharp and engaging like in the game, and Sumia, despite her lack of confidence, doesn't come across as annoying, but as sincere.
I realize it's been awhile since you last updated, but I hope you continue writing-if not this story, then something else entirely, not necessarily on this site-because you are incredibly talented.
| Mr-Watch chapter 9 . 10/11/2013
Haha, I'm surely fine waiting for chapters! Especially this one, I have to say, I enjoyed it quite a lot. I really can't put my finger on it, but for some reason this particular chapter simply "clicked" with me...And also, I'm liking the cliffhanger, especially since it literally was on a cliff! :D (Actually, I know why it clicked with me). ;)
But yes, this chapter really worked for me! :) You do a nice job describing Gaius' thoughts and such as he is sprinting/walking through the snow, and the description is superb! I like how you use the simple idea of the rag, as well as your use of First Person, to kind of make a segue into new thoughts and ideas. That is, you do a fine job describing something as simple as a rag and making it a kind of powerful device for everything else! :D
Anyways, on a different note, you did amazing dialogue for Gaius and B. When I started reading it all it was pretty much like a big piece of cake I didn't want to stop reading/eating. It's a really unique thing that stands out when you read. Haha, and I guess I kind of enjoyed it because I know a few people that kind-of talk like that where I come from. Heh, I don't know why, I just really like Uncle Bob's way of talkin'...Kind of like Strawberry said though, probably reading it sporadically wasn't the best way to understand it all on the first go. (Stupid classes, as I told you). But once I read through it all again, it was clear as spring water! :D And in response to your question, for me, quite a bit has changed since the start. Obviously, as you know, you're at fault for getting me into Fire Emblem for the 3Ds (don't deny it), so when I we first ran into him I really didn't know how to describe him. Heh, I know it's a horrible answer, but it's the best I got! :P
So, like always, this was a fantastic chapter to read. As odd as it might be, Uncle B made it one of my personal favorites so far! :D I don't care how long there are between chapters, as long as you keep on writing and doing stuff like dis I'm gonna stick with cha to the end of the story! :)
Keep on, Keeping on! *Bro Fist* :D
| Strawberry Eggs chapter 9 . 10/7/2013
Oh, why would anyone throw rocks at you for a cliffhanger? I mean, it's not like it will take...
Wait. It's Sumia's point-of-view next. So the cliff hanger will likely be especially long since we won't find out about what happens to Gaius until the chapter after the next one...
Um, well, I'm a patient person! I can wait! ;
So anyway, this chapter this chapter is awesomely long with loads of characterization, for both Gaius and Benji. One thing I've come to realize about Gaius is that he seems to be the kind of guy who would, more often than not, rather trust somebody. True, Clyde's gang wasn't such a trustworthy group and he knows better than that, but he's willing to give the Shepherds that trust. I find that admirable, considering his line of work. And of course, learning about Gaius and even Benji's background is just fantastic. I just love how fanfiction can be usedto expand upon a character like this. :D
Gaius just about to say it before he came across the Grimleal, so I may as well: Benji's going to die, isn't he? Or at the very least, Gaius is never seeing Uncle Bob again. I suppose that Benji being relieved that Gaius is still alive is a good enough reason for him to seek him out, reflect a bit, and tell him he loves him, but going by what Gaius said, that isn't the only reason. Only time will tell. Maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions...
I initially wanted to say that some of Gaius and Bob's dialogue is hard to follow, but upon a second read, I didn't notice it. I could tell who said what. I did try to read this chapter sporadically while at work and was constantly interrupted. so that might have explained my confusion. So otherwise, I couldn't spot any errors, mistakes, or oddities I feel are worth pointing out.
As for how did I picture Benji? Well, physically, I imagined him with a bandana and a graying beard. Nothing too crazy or unkempt, but not neat either. He also sounds a lot like I picture the character Dockson from Mistborn sounds like in my head, though that's hardly descriptive. Personality-wise we weren't given too much before. I suppose he was gruff but seemed to genuinely care about Gaius's well being. Neither of those changed, though he's decidedly less gruff, and even Gaius is surprised at this.
So yes, this is another excellently written and enjoyable chapter. It was very much worth the wait. It's clear that you're a busy gal, so I won't at all complain about you not having the time you'd like to update. As long as you continue to put this level of quality into your chapters, I will wait for as long as need be. :)
| momamommam chapter 9 . 10/7/2013
No worry sweetie:)
Thank you for the new chapter! I'll keep waiting until you next update. Good luck with both your school and your part-time job.
| selenia-sopheria chapter 8 . 8/18/2013
This is going to be a lazy bumbling review, and I really hope you don't mind, but here goes!
The fluff! It's choking me affectionately, killing me softly and sweetly! I love the character interactions in this one, and not just Gaius and Sumia's (but especially theirs). That small hint of Virion/Sully was so darn adorable, I just have to mention how well you depicted their relationship. What really took the cake was the Gaius/Sumia interaction here, though. I think it served as a nice filler, and to be sure that this chapter was not wasted on a lack of story progression, you left us hanging with that mean little cliffhanger. (How dare you.)
Now, I just want to quote a single sentence from this entire thing and elaborate on how much and why I love it.
"More of that charming face, creased in places that pointed to a fine-toothed smile, his eyes, that shifted ever-so-slightly as he studied me, and his pearly skin against the snow... Gosh, I wasn't sure I'd seen anyone who looked like him before..."
I don't know if you intended for this to happen, but that last part of the sentence signals character growth on Sumia's part. I remember back in another chapter, Sumia remarked on how much Gaius's looks reminded her of a character from one of the novels she'd read. But now, she's beginning to emerge out of her fantasy bubble and take reality's hand, all while starting to see Gaius for who he is, and the simple pleasures of life for what they're worth. Even though she's still quite insecure here, if not especially, it's clear she's beginning to walk with a bit more confidence in her steps. I'm so proud of her! And I'm so proud of you, for taking such important things as character development into careful hands and letting things roll at such a smooth pace. I'm all for implications, so that line struck me with such a burst of amazement that I just had to babble on about it! I know you tell me that you like my writing, but you have no idea how much I enjoy savoring yours! You really ought to give yourself more credit; that was such a brilliant line. ;)
Forgive me! I didn't mean to analyze your writing style. All my nitpicks about this chapter are, really, just conventional errors. For example, there's a hot mess of them here:
["Crivens, girl. (*,)" he said, readjusting the cloth around his shoulders an (*and) eying (*eyeing) me. "I'm beginning to think I really should carry you, everywhere."
"Oh gods, (*.)" I could just picture him all exhausted and heaving, flopped on the ground, gasping like a fish out of water and sweating like a hog from my weight with me just perched there on top of him. "I would break your back before you took two steps!"
"Wh-what?" he chuckled, and leaned into me playfully. I was seriously afraid of losing my balance again, but I just tightened my grip on the material that was clenched in my fist. "You serious? 'Cause I could probably lift like, twelve of you if I felt like it."
"That'd be impossible, (*.)" twelve (*Twelve) Sumia's (*Sumias; the apostrophe signals possessive, just like how 1970's is incorrect and should be 1970s)? Gods, the world would explode if there were that many of me. "unless (*Unless) you were okay with breaking every bone in your body, that is."
"You calling me weak?" he (*He) raised an eyebrow and I watched his breaths turn into little clouds as soon as they reached the outside air. "I drink my milk, thank you."
"No, I'm calling me a pain in the butt to carry, (*.)" he (*He) paused for the briefest of moments, before a devious, smug smile shimmied onto his face.]
As you can tell, it's mainly punctuation, so don't start worrying and getting your small-clothes into a twist! I'll get on my response PM to you right away, so expect to hear from me. Also, I have to apologize for being late for reviewing and PMing now, too. I've been busy as of late, and you have no idea how much I just want to freeze the world and do all the writing I want, but reality is just too mean to let that happen. Anyway, this review has gone on long enough. Take care; I am extremely excited for Chapter 9! :)
| Mr-Watch chapter 8 . 8/18/2013
I have to say, I'm really liking the stuff you did with this update as well as re-uploaded edit...thingy...Really great chapter you've got going here! :D
(While I probably already mentioned this on Skype or something). This edited chapter definitely feels a lot more focused and fluffy. That's to say, the pervious version was by no means bad. But I'm really enjoying this changed one. As we talked, it seems that you yourself definitely enjoyed this change up a lot more than before too! :) And that's just as important as everything else! :D
Anyway, now onto actual story stuff...(I'll focus more on this version of the chapter so people don't get confuzzled!) Anyway, I have to say. "Dat Snow" I have no idea why, but I'm just a complete sucker for weather, especially rain and snow. I don't know why or how, but when you opened up with details about snow I was like "This chapter right here. This one. Right Here!" I love it...Ok, so my personal feeling about weather aside, I'm really impressed by the way you've taken to describing the weather. You use Sumia's POV and how she feels / thinks to really juice all the detail from the setting instead of just straight up saying "This is what she saw" or something along those lines...Not only that, but the character interactions in relation to the weather, particularly Sully and Sumia's was really well done! :)
Moving on, while I'm probably stating the obvious here, I freaking love the Sumia and Gaius interaction in this chapter. I mean, come one, how am I not supposed to love those two sharing a cloak. It's like you had a trap put down in this chapter that shot arrows full of "D'aww." Haha, ok. Maybe I'm going a littler overboard with that example...But seriously, I like the way your working at their relationship. You're really focusing on the little things and making headway without just saying how they feel. To me, it makes it all just that little bit more real! :D On a different note though, a secrete mission, eh? Guess I'll have to stay tuned to find out! ;)
Haha, ok. Enough with my babbling. :) I really liked this chapter, edits and all...Keep up the great work and I really hope you update soon! :)
| Lilybud chapter 1 . 8/14/2013
This seemed really good! I'm looking forward for the next chapter! You got Gaius' point of view very nicely.
| Strawberry chapter 8 . 8/14/2013
Yes, it's me, Strawberry Eggs. I can't submitt another review for the same chapter, even if it's reuploaded, so I thought I should leave feedback this way.
I I didn't think the original chapter was bad, but I do agree this one is more focused and fluffier. I appreciate any writer/artist who is willing to improve on their work. Not that I mind the tangents taken in the previous version, but this focus on Gaius giving her his cloak and going from there is great, too. Got to the love Gaius the teasing if sometimes blunt nice guy. This chapter also may make nice contrast to the next one if sometime serious happens during that recon mission.
No more "angry butterflies" lines, but I also got a chuckle of this sentence: "So I soaked up as much of the moment as I could before a frozen stick on the ground decided it was tired of waiting for me to trip, and attempted to do the honors itself." XD
Well, most of everything else from before applies. This was a great chapter, and fluff is always appreciated. :3 Nicely done!
| Darkened Dusk chapter 8 . 8/9/2013
Loving the story so far. Not too many Gaius/Sumia fics out there and it's pretty disappointing. I hope you don't give up on this fic, or take too long to update it, because I'm really enjoying it so far. Keep up the good work.
| Strawberry Eggs chapter 8 . 8/8/2013
I say this chapter was worth the wait, so quit beating yourself up. I mean it, I really enjoyed it! These personal slice-of-life situations between Sumia and Gaius, and for the Shepherds in general are very well depicted here. This silly back-and-forth among the characters is just so...them. It feels very natural, and something that could come from the game itself, based on the supports and the early parts. Sully teasing Sumia lightly, Virion being Virion and trying his best to woo the Crimson Knight, Lon'qu being his stoic self, and Gaius being his charming self.
And with Sumia's POV comes her low self-esteem. She seemed especially hard on herself, until she really gets into the conversation with Gaius. Sure that "what do you like most about yourself?" line made her hesitate, but otherwise she was really comfortable talking and even bantering with him. It's true-to-game, too, as her self-worth issues take a back seat in her supports with Gaius. I just find that so sweet. That and Gaius giving her his cloak and ruffling her hair affectionately. Gods, I love fluff!
"Unless of course they were angry butterflies... could butterflies get angry?" -I know it's not much, but I got a chuckle from this line. X3
"Lon'qu breezing along behind them with his regular face on. " - Pfft, regular face. XD
How many ways can I say, "I really enjoyed reading this chapter! It was fantastic!"? Probably more, but then this review will drag. Rest assure, though, that I think any length of time if worth a chapter to this fic. I shall await the next one, and worry not if it is late. I completely understand. :)
| Smashing Skunk53 chapter 8 . 8/8/2013
Ah how I missed this. Best thing about the story, the mindstets of the characters. Sumia's lack of self worth makes it truly shine in the first pov.
| calliptus chapter 7 . 7/17/2013
jsadhfkasgdaks AHHHHHHHHHH. /bashes head on the wall
Oh my goodness, seeing an update to this fic made me jump out of joy! Thank you so much for making my day! ;A;
First off, I like the short recap at the beginning because it made us see what Gaius was thinking in the last chapter. It gave me butterflies, ahhhh. That part with him being in-denial about his growing attraction towards Sumia (i.e. saying he only wanted to make sure there wouldn't a bad blood among the Shepherds) made me smile and squeal like a foolish fangirl haha. x'D I am impressed at how well you can make things fluffy without it being in-your-face or anything! It goes to show that actions really speak louder than words. It's all very in-character as well.
I also want to commend you for the smooth transition between the earlier scenes to Gaius and Sumia's C Support! I was wondering how hard it would be to do that, considering that Gaius was a bit iffy towards Sumia in their early support conversation haha. I blushed quite a bit after I saw the touchy-feely scene just because it's my OTP and it was so adorable, ahhh. Their awkward reaction after that made it even cuter. I swear I can't get enough of these two together. /gross sobbing
Also, AHHHH. I'm so surprised you found me on Tumblr! x'D Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate them from the bottom of my heart. And sure! I don't mind you using my art as a cover once I finish drawing it. It would be an honor, really! ;A;
Keep up the good work! We'll all be waiting for your next update. :')
| Total Nerd Girl chapter 7 . 7/10/2013
I apologize for reviewing so late, but I'm here now!
One sentence I would tweak a little. "Drop myself into the clearing after breakfast was served..." The "was served" part didn't really seem to belong there. But beyond that, I think it was great! Loved the twist on the support conversation by the way. (Wonder how you're going to describe the bee hive incident...)
In response to your author's note, you're welcome! I enjoy reading this story. And I agree, British accents are awesome! You like my writing? *blushes* Thank you!
Until next time!