Reviews for The First Sleepless Kiss
GreyFoxSpirit chapter 1 . 10/14/2013
I love this! Wish there was more!
SunshineProject chapter 1 . 4/11/2013
so cuuute
darknesse13 chapter 1 . 4/7/2013
This was adorable! Is there going to be a second chapter? I hope so
Observer chapter 1 . 4/4/2013
I really liked it!
We're in dire need of some TokiOto fanfiction nowadays, so welcome to the club!

I think you did pretty well for a start! Of course, there are things to work on, but I think that this was really really good!

I can't wait to see what you'll do next

i'm a cat chapter 1 . 3/26/2013
You have some Mistakes but still a very good story !

Keep writing !
And remember that we are learning from mistakes ! ;)
Blue Rogue Linds chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
First of all, his name is OTOYA, not ITTOKI. Ittoki is his last name. Why address him by his surname when you even have Tokiya calling him by his first? It makes no sense. Do you research before posting something in a new fandom.

Tokiya is out of character. He's much too sociable and outwardly emotional. I also can't see him taking advantage of his roommate as he sleeps; he'd feel guilty for something like that, though he wouldn't tell anyone about it.

Also, text walls much? Learn to format properly, and write, for that matter. Start a new paragraph each time someone speaks. Separate the characters' inner thoughts from everything else. This was really hard on the eyes.

Scrap this and try again. :/