|Reviews for Kate and Leopold 2|
| Aurora Nova chapter 1 . 12/9/2011
Yikes. I don't even know where to begin. For starters, grammar, punctuation, spelling, syntax. They're not just fancy literary words. They serve a purpose. Please research and use them liberally and properly. It is so difficult to read any story if you have to get out the virtual red pen to correct the mistakes.
As to the plot of your story: you give no reason for Kate to want to return to her own time other than boredom. I don't think you're writing about the same Kate from the movie who loved a man from the past enough to jump off a freaking bridge and hope against hope that it would take her back to his century so she could spend the rest of her life with him. Kate knew very well that her decision then was permanent, and she was content with that.
Does this mean she couldn't wonder how her brother was doing? No. Does this mean she would wish to be back with her ex-boyfriend (and future great-great-great-grandson) Stuart? No. Does this even mean she and Leopold couldn't have arguments, because she is a 21st century woman trying to fit into a 19th century life-style? No. But I think you need to analyze the characters more closely. What you've written is so far out of character for both Kate and Leopold that I have to ask if you and I have watched the same movie.
Having said all that, I don't believe you should stop writing. All fiction comes from our imaginations, and only by continuing to write can you work out the problems with your style and make it a better, more enjoyable story for the reader. Most beginning writers start out by wish-fullfillment stories, that is to say: they write what they wish would happen to them. Get those out of your system and keep writing. You'll find your style.
| Desiree Davenport chapter 2 . 5/17/2010
Alright, constructive criticism time. As others have mentioned, you should try sticking to just one style of writing, either narrative or script. It is very confusing when you mix the two. Alos, "Kate kissing Leopold because she is so gladly to be alive" is an incomplete sentence; there should be an "is" or "was" before "kissing," or just change it to "kissed." And it should just say "glad." When writing in a script style, you do not need to use quotations after the semicolon. Example:
Leopold: OK? I'll have a Coke?
Also, your story could use more descriptions. This story is very plot-driven, and while that can be a good thing, it sounds more like a grade-schooler talking about their day, "First I went to class, and then we did this, and then I talked to so-and-so," etc. As readers, we don't want to be led through a series of events. We want to mentally see the story through your description and character development. Your story so far looks more like a skeleton. It still needs muscles and skin to make it a good, interesting piece.
Then again, you don't have to take my advice, since if any of our writings were worth anything, we wouldn't be wasting our talents on fanfiction.
| Verity Kindle chapter 1 . 1/18/2007
This is really unbelievablt awful. Try using paragraph breaks and punctuation. Break up the run-on sentences, please.
| ImaBanana chapter 2 . 11/5/2006
Oh my God. What the hell was that? You call that a story? What is wrong with you? Go...now. Find your own time portal and jump off a bridge because wow. You don't deserve to live in this time era. That just completely and entirely blowed.
| Dee chapter 2 . 9/16/2003
I just read your story, I can't wait to here what happens next..
| hehehe chapter 2 . 1/20/2003
Um, please please continue!
| TWitchesFan chapter 2 . 1/14/2003
please can you read my ff?It's called Kate & Leopold it's good i promis!RR on my ff!Please continue!
| Divamercury chapter 2 . 12/1/2002
Interesting...the premise is good but I'm not too fond of the format. You're switching tenses and from narrative to script forms; it's kind of hard to follow. But not a bad tale.
| AmealiaRomanced007 chapter 1 . 9/20/2002
I'm Probably the BIGGEST K&L fan around. The concept is really good. I get where you are going, but change the summery,'cause when I read it I thought you were talking about BEFORE they were married, not being married and having two kids. your type of writting style is not one I would recommend to my fellow reader, but hey, it's YOUR story. Keep writting and keep smil'in.
| The Meg-chan chapter 1 . 9/15/2002
Um...I'm not following. 0_o
| Sassy Elf chapter 2 . 9/9/2002
Your story is very good. I hope you are planing to add more soon.