|Reviews for Legend of the Kōjin no Kōtei|
| nativer28 chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
So excited for more!
| jeanpaulreddy93 chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
Dude... Your story is awesome... However i advise to get a beta reader to check it out before posting. There are certain parts in the beginning that are not well written. I mean your sentences are not well formed however it still conveys what you are trying to present. Its not really a problem but it would make your story better if you fixed these small issues. Overall, i'm just waiting to see a bad-ass Naruto in action..
| Yumi Nakamura Chan chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
I Like Your Fict,,
I will wait it,,
| RandomParadox chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Yeh, this is the beginning of a great story, continue sir
| Please Read my stuff chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
| Jikan Kugeki chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Hope you update as fast as you can, the story is amazing i can't wait for the next chapter.
| Mas2009 chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
hope you update soon & don't forgive konoha if she has (which she diffently has) a hand in the invasion!
I read a lot of konoha bashing stories but only one did destroy her fast it was Naruto hellwing !
| LoDeTeR chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
| angeliccus chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
really great start, liked it very much.
will naruto have just shinigami power or hollow too ?
will Oda Nobunaga play a role ?
looking forward to your next chapter see you soon
| Ymere chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
very good opening i can see this story doing well. The opener had the right feel to it. Thanks for writing it i cant wait to see more.
| Angelus91 chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
great story so far, cannot wait for the next chapter
| Jaz21 chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Interesting I look forward to future updates.
| Tha Golden Boy chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Wow, if this is your first story and you're probably just getting started I'm looking forward to seeing how your future stories will turn out with some experience. The idea is interesting and I'm glad that you are only taking elements from Bleach and not characters. There are so many characters in Naruto that I've never seen the need to add more from Bleach: it just looks like a clusterfuck then. The grammar was pretty good for a first chapter. There were some spelling mistakes and typos throughout the chapter, but it was easily understandable. You are writing in the past tense already, which is great, so the story flows nicely and the sentences transition well. I would say to get a beta reader to fix up any mistakes you might miss. It will really go a long in making your story more presentable and better.
You manipulated the events well involving Kushina's capture. She was already the jinchuriki when she was captured so I am guessing Kumo was after her because of her chains and her prestige of heiress. The fact that she wasn't a Konoha shinobi yet means that you have incriminated Konoha and basically ruined their alliance with Uzushiogakure. With Kushina back and Konoha having no suitable replacement for their jinchuriki it'll be interesting to see what they do now. This will probably have a huge effect on Mito and Hashirama as well. By the way I read you rant on Hashirama and while it was stupid of him to believe that people's hearts would be that pure; Naruto is almost a copy of him. From what we've seen in the manga lately, it seems to me that Naruto would probably follow in similar footsteps.
Since you are making this a harem I am just going to say what I say about every harem fic and that is to please don't follow the cliche that are associated with harems: underdeveloped/rushed pairings, unnecessary lemons, and how every female turns bisexual. These things make harems tasteless and usually have a negative effect on the story in my opinion.
| Narutopwnsass chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Well i can only say that i really hope you continue and update on a regular basis. I really enjoyed it. there are only minor misspelling nothing else to note.
| iceringX chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Damn...just damn totally love the first chapter
for a first story it's comparable to great authors like TheDemonKingNaruto and Saitou Uzumaki
keep it up got a feeling you're gonna be one of my fav authors