|Reviews for Can Caged Birds Feel Peace?|
| America Liberty chapter 1 . 4/14/2014
Oh goodness what a gem!
I was amazed by your story with Horsetamer and now I'm in awe by this!
First things first, Antilochus. I smiled. I'm really into greek mythology/the Iliad and I don't think enough of it was incorporated into the movie. I love it when people add little easter eggs like this. His character was also very well written. What a wonderful idea to play off of his youth and contrast this to Achilles and Eudroses' lack thereof. I know that's what Patroclus was supposed to do, but Anticholes seemed more youthful to me, Patroclus had gone through so much and seemed to almost be more innocence, not really youth. Very clever way to do things.
The dialogue was the next thing I enjoyed. Everyone is always so in character in your stories it's really wonderful!
Some of my favorites:
"I swear, if that boy and his friends are drunk…" Made me smile and giggle :)
"You can be Ajax, Meleager because you're big and clumsy!"
"Pure white snow blanketed the luck green land and the sky glowed with a unusual purplish blackish hue…" This was great description!
"And in case you have not noticed I am a respected warrior and a leader and I do not play!" Wonderful characterization!
"He hasn't' eben thirty summers and already he sounds like a crotcthy old sailor!" "I heard that!"
Many many many more as well :)
Another thing I loved was the descriptions. They really made me feel like I was in the snow! Especially the paragraphs about the sky glowing and delicate crystals falling.
The idea of a loss of innocence was well portrayed and I love how you explored it in three different ways through Eudores, Achilles, and Patroclus. It's a theme that I love to see and you portrayed it with immense maturity and wonderful writing!
The ending dialogue between Eudores and Anticholes was well done as well. I love seeing snip its of relationships and being able to think about them! This has me thinking that maybe they have a similar relationship to Achilles and Patroclus.
As for the author's note questions I will give you my answers:
The caged bird bit did not seem to much or excessive, but I don't know about Achilles referring to himself as it, but it's not worth changing because of the beauty of the writing, you've done.
I liked the nickname as well. I think it fits well and it's certainly not out of character!
One thing I would recommend would be the simple and minuscule thing that a author's note in the middle of a text distracts the reader from the flow of the story, but other than that, wonderful job! I loved it!
| bluebirdheart chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
I am so glad you decided to write a Troy fic. Well done.
I have so much to say that I hope I don't forget any thing. I love how you built this story. I really liked your idea of having a young Myrmidon wake Achilles up; excellent character all around. And how the teens were at some random hour playing in the snow (somethings are always the same). The fact that Antilochus hit Ach with a snowball...priceless!
Achilles is very bound to his title, role, and destiny...I think he is somewhat caged. And him feeling nostalgic to his past seems spot on to me. I liked how you let his emotion shine through a bit - especially since he was out a night. Everything seems 10x worse at night :p
The ending with Patch and Ach was so cute. I can totally see Patch not being so sure about the snow. LOVED IT! I love nicknames, so I loved the name "little warrior."
And finally, I like that you had EUdorus in this fic and that he knew what Antilochus was thinking (with the snowball).
Well done, friend and keep up the good work. And thanks for the shout out :D
| HaloFin17 chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
Good for you, you finished this! Thank you so much for the dedication in your author's note - that was so very sweet of you :-) Also terribly sweet was this entire oneshot. I didn't know you were planning to include other youngsters, but the approached worked. In particular, it set the stage for how Achilles is definitely younger than in the movie, but still old beyond his years.
And I appreciated how you compared both Patroclus and Achilles sort of losing their childhood innocence and carefree spirit at an early age, though for different reasons. The actual snow discovery at the end was priceless, of course, perhaps even more so because it was primarily from Achilles' perspecitve. And I did like the "little warrior" nickname. Too bad he couldn't stay so little forever. Very, very cute, my friend, thank you for sharing this with us!
| Soso22 chapter 1 . 3/21/2013
that was amazing new idea
i really enjoyed reading it :) but you had too many charchters
anyway I loved refering to achilles as a caged bird again good new idea
I will be waiting for more stroies from you :)