|Reviews for A Summer's Dream|
| LRR chapter 4 . 8/16/2014
I'm sorry, I can't do it. It's just not written very well at all, dispite having so much potential. If you or someone else rewrites it then that would be amazing, but for now...
And if I said that there was no other grammar or writing mistakes, I'm sorry, I was mistaken.
And (I know they won't read this, but I just wanted to say) the other reviews? In one they said that she couldn't have been a veela if her Mom wasn't one, but how would you know? It could be a dominant trait that Harry just so happen didn't get.
I will say this once more. I think it has great potential, but only if you or someone else rewrites it will it have more than six reviews. It could be amazing, but is held back by how it's written.
| LRR chapter 1 . 8/16/2014
I like the idea, but the writing is too choppy and jerky with no flow, and seems to go a little too fast. Besides that, there are no grammar or writing errors that I saw, and like the idea. Except one thing: WHO IS IT?! If it's not Draco, that that really only leaves Luna or Lucius, both I'm not sure I'll read if it's them. But I might. If it's good. But I really don't like lesbian ones. I'm not being... What do you call it, homophobic or something? I just prefer not to read them. I have nothing against gay, lesbian, or bi people. So, back to the story, if you rewrite it or let someone else, I think it could be a great story. But that's just me. If I don't review at the end, that means I didn't finish, so sorry just in case ahead of time.
| Imwaiting4myAliceandEdward chapter 1 . 3/31/2014
Wow, can I just say I am slightly appalled by the reviews you have received? It is true that your writing leaves something to be desired, but writing is difficult. It is partly an outlet to the creativity a person is born with but mostly LEARNED. It seems like you enjoy writing, but perhaps you just need a way to improve your creative stories into better flowing words. If you truly are 23, I suggest looking into local community colleges, and perhaps signing up for an English Writing course. Community college is fairly inexpensive and there is always financial aid available. If writing is something you really enjoy, perhaps taking a class or two will allow you to improve on your writing skills some, and allow others to appreciate your work as much as you like writing. After all, a person wouldn't post their stories, or waste their time writing unless they received satisfaction from it. :-) Just some helpful advice, and you shouldn't let the other reviews get to you. If you feel like posting what you write online, DO IT! Others can choose to read it or not, as this is a free website and all are invited. Chin up -imwaiting4myaliceandedward
| HPFanficWriter chapter 4 . 11/28/2013
There are a few things worn with this story:
1) the complete absence of any realism - would a 10 year old girl really be the mate of a 40/50 year old man - it's wrong as he is way over twice her age
2) the complete absence of decent language , your writing sounds like a toddler's writing as opposed to the '23' year old that you are according to your profile
3) non-connonical family facts - if 'Tina' was a Veela then so would Harry plus the fact that Lily is a MUGGLEBORN, she has no wizard relatives so she would not be in cahoots with YKW as he HATES muggleborns And would not love any of them and want custody of any muggleborn's child with any ibtentionother than to kill them.
I could go on.
| Guest chapter 14 . 9/12/2013
What a poor story, the plot is all over the place and makes no sense you never properly explained how and when Tina was born. I have to say that I am glad you have seemingly finished this story.
| Finni Willis chapter 3 . 3/22/2013
Tina cannot be a Veela because Lily was Muggleborn and there was no Veela blood in the Potter line. You need clarify why she is one and if so, at least mention this is AU.
I'm sorry to say that Tina seems very Mary Sue-ish and all the characters seem OOC. I'm just giving you friendly advice and I probably won't be reading anymore because quite frankly, I don't like the story plot. I also suggest you work on your writing skills before posting more stories on here.