Reviews for Harry Potter and the Quidditch Adoption
Fick Chick chapter 4 . 9/24/2015
Why didn't Snape die with the other DEs?
tammin chapter 7 . 8/25/2015
Ok; the plot and timeline jumped around too much in this chapter. For an example, we have Hermione chewing out the Gryffindor Guidditch team for going behind the teacher's back about the love potion Molly was using on Harry, to talking about the Quidditch World Cup and Molly plotting to use Harry as a shoehorn until Polite Pureblood Society (whether he wants to or not). This is not the first time I have observed this in this story. Otherwise, the story is engaging.
tammin chapter 4 . 8/25/2015
What happened in the bank, did the goblins detect the soul shard in Harry's scar? Do the Dark families know that Harry has been named Heir to their Family Lines? This and many other questions I hope are answered in later chapters. In other news, you have done a good job so far and I am looking forward to reading this story.
digbygreen chapter 10 . 8/25/2015
It was difficult to follow the timeline in the last two chapters. Not sure when the DEs woke up. When did Harry meet with Narcissa? Did Harry really get beyond first base with Narcissa or was it more of a WWE Smack Down?
Story was going well until chapter 9.
WhiteElfElder chapter 10 . 8/21/2015
If you can streamline things and fill in the holes and untangle the overlaps this will be a much better story.
WhiteElfElder chapter 8 . 8/21/2015
If what was alluded to about Harry and Narcissa was was done, I hope that Harry used multiple somethings to prevent STDs and conception.
WhiteElfElder chapter 5 . 8/21/2015
How is Lucius alive after the others with the Mark dropped dead from Voldemort draining them in his attempt to take over Harry's body?
WhiteElfElder chapter 4 . 8/21/2015
How could Albus be seen being hexed by Harry if Albus had fled the area after reading the first lines of the message received?

How could Harry be arguing with Albus after reading his own letter if Albus was not in the area because he was up in his office reading his own missive?

What happened between the soul shard drawing power from the marked followers and Amelia Bones' scene?

If all those with the Dark Mark dropped dead how was Snape supposed to attend to Albus on Albus' return from the Ministry, much less even be in the meeting?
fan chapter 10 . 2/13/2015
I like the idea of your story but must compliment you for rewritting them because you often repeat yourself or even make changes without warning and logic ( i.e. the DE are first in a coma then they become squibs and then suddendly they are death?! Not to mention, there was no reaction of them being death from their family and so on! Same with mrs weasley one chapter she did one thing and the next it seems as if she did nothing). It is all a little confusing. I hope you don't take this review as a flame because I really only hope to help you with these remarkes. I will look out for your rewritten story and good luck!
OSR fanatic chapter 9 . 2/25/2014
Great Story! :) Update Soon! :)
Tigris DivingHawk chapter 10 . 1/28/2014
This is a good storyline keep it up I can't wait to see what happens next did scabbers get the squib sickness or did the ward protect him like snape?
Princess Scherbatskaya chapter 10 . 1/27/2014
Good luck with figuring out the story! I've been following it for a while now, and I really love your writing.
michaelc100 chapter 10 . 1/14/2014
I hope you carry on with this story and we see some new chapters soon

by the way, even though you mentioned mrs Malfoy leaving in a dishevelled state, you did not mention what she and harry got up to. It sounded like more than negotiation
Ped chapter 10 . 1/9/2014
I like your story. The premise is well thought out, and incorporates so much of what HP canon failed to explain, adequately.

And for your reformat may I suggest... something to denote time changes (a few asterisks *** on a separate line works for a lot of people.)

Also, a better flow of time. I swear sometimes time jumps between POV changes (also something that some delineation between parts would help,) that I am baffled about the chapter flows sometimes. Also, Christmas has passed at one point, but then I swear the story went back to the Autumn time period again.

And finally... when was Harry checked out by the Goblins? It was mentioned during his original testing while McGonagall was there (i.e. about his scar,) but that was the last we heard about it until there was talk about love potion overdosing at a check that happened (very much off-screen.)

But, keep up the good work, and I wait with anticipation for new chapters *and* the revamp you have planned.
cfaithcsf chapter 10 . 1/1/2014
1)I feel you should have many shorter paragraphs instead of the long paragraphs you currently have. I find that long paragraphs are harder to read as it is harder to keep track of the story and I keep getting confused.

2) I think that your story is not consistent. It feels a bit like you are writing without rereading what you have already posted. For example, in one chapter, McGonagall apologized to Hermione, the next chapter, McGonagall apologised to Harry and Hermione for the exact same thing.

That said the storyline is good
120 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »