|Reviews for The Flies That Came To Dinner|
| daniel chapter 2 . 6/25/2013
It's so nice to see Donnie/Irma fanfictions. They're my second favorite tmnt couple. Right after Splinger/April.
| C-T-CT chapter 12 . 6/2/2013
That's a good twist with the neural patch! Love it! It adds more intrigue to the public of whether Irma is a genius or just a woman of average intelligence.
Good plot twist Zarius!
I loved the speech Irma gave after Donatello was trying to speak on the microphone and confess the truth. It's a great introspective perspective there on how Irma seems to know herself better than others do. I can see that you did your research here Zarius!
Hmmm, the tribunal seems a bit too accepting of this "genius" being in the shadows. By the way, what did the tribunal think of Irma's guest accompanying her at this press conference? Wouldn't they be a bit suspicious of why he's there? (Sorry if I'm nit picking, you know me and details. lol)
It was cute ending Zarius.
| C-T-CT chapter 11 . 6/2/2013
Sorry if I'm dense here, but I'm unsure why Sagan struck himself with the boxing gun after realizing Baxter was human. I mean I know he was hoping that Baxter was some other creature "above humanity", but for him to just knock himself out because he was shocked with disappointment?
So it looks like Baxter is back to his whole "fly form" and sent back to the previous dimension he came from.
So far it all seems in character and the fighting descriptions are all good.
| C-T-CT chapter 10 . 6/2/2013
Great Raphael humor in relation to the board game "Clue"
Small spelling error, it should be "and landed next to Leonardo, the two made a RUN for it as the blasts"
Great reference to "Turtles Forever" with the Turtle Prime fight.
Oh Raphael... you and your quips. lol
| C-T-CT chapter 9 . 6/2/2013
Wow this Dr. Sagan guy just loves to ramble, doesn't he? lol
"You sound very Drunk"...? ;) Okay... so I see we're adding alcohol to the stories. I don't mind it at all, I'm just keeping it in mind and recalibrating the reviews.
LOL, "nuttier than nutella spread". Good one...
Duh, duh, duh... What's going to happen to Irma now?
...So this is where the title comes from. :)
| C-T-CT chapter 8 . 6/2/2013
LOL, funny reference to computer Z that the female fly mentioned. It's interesting that the child fly seems to be the only one insistent on going back to normal and probably the most mature.
Hmmm, interesting to see how the other 3 Turtles are going to get inside.
| BubblyShell22 chapter 12 . 4/25/2013
An awesome ending to this story. I like how Irma explained herself and the speech she gave as well as how she and Don talked about things at the end. You have two mistakes: you know what I di? should be you know what I did? and i.q. should be I.Q. Other than that, good job. I'll be eagerly awaiting the next story you create.
The Bubbly One,
| BubblyShell22 chapter 11 . 4/25/2013
Wow. Awesome chapter. Well, it looks like Sagan's out of commission for good and Baxter won't be bothering anyone ever again. You have three mistakes that I noticed: Sagan dismayed should be Sagan was dismayed, With the terrors incapacitated, Leonardo took a is an incomplete sentence. Also, see what happens when turn the keys the wrong way should be see what happens when I turn the keys the wrong way. Other than that, good job. I'm off to read the next chapter.
The Bubbly One,
| BubblyShell22 chapter 10 . 4/23/2013
Awesome chapter. Loved April rescuing the Turtles and how the Turtles got in and continued the battle. So, that female fly is Baxter? Pretty creative. You have a few mistakes though: beaming it's light onto the startled Turtles' face should be beaming its light onto the startled Turtle's face, beneath the Turtles feet should be beneath the Turtles' feet, aimed it's deadly laser vision at him should be aimed its deadly laser vision at him, The master is not ensured should be the master is not insured unless it's spelled differently in Britain. I know you guys have different spellings for certain words, and if that's the case, then that's fine. Other than those mistakes, good job. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.
The Bubbly One,
| BubblyShell22 chapter 9 . 4/20/2013
Whoa. Awesome chapter. Yep, looks like Irma's in trouble for sure. You have two mistakes that I saw: trapease should be trapeze and wrecking havoc should be wreaking havoc. Other than that, good job. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.
The Bubbly One,
| BubblyShell22 chapter 8 . 4/12/2013
Awesome chapter. So, how the heck are the Turtles going to get in then? You have one mistake: their psychic patches should be they're psychic patches. Other than that, good job. I'll be eagerly awaiting an update.
The Bubbly One,
| C-T-CT chapter 7 . 4/7/2013
Uh... I think Michelangelo's phrase may be a bit off, a "babe magnet" would mean that girls are attracted to the magnet..and that would be...April? LOL. Maybe try: "a literal man magnet" since men are attracted to her.
Raphael's lines are great about April and Michelangelo, but it should be "between the dirty sheets."
for Donatello's comment about April, some small spelling errors, it should be: "Yeah, well, that us (us in italics) all over Irma." and also: "She should recognize the blessings in disguise and see what GOOD it can do..." Sorry if I'm a bit confused but how will martial arts training improve her journalistic (more academic-leaning) instincts? Maybe an example of patience or perception in how to see things more focused might help the reader to bridge this connection.
LOL, I can see you shut that door between Donatello & April romance relationship, right there with "virtually nothing" statement. I have my own opinions, ROFL...but it's your fic Zarius, just teasing around. :P
Okay Zarius...LOL, I know that Sagan may have wanted to be more casual but ONLY wearing placard and boxer shorts? For a scientist? Not professionally respectable (maybe a hawaiian shirt and shorts would be better), but I guess Sagan is "mad" for a reason, and it's the publicity he wanted. LOL
"Spoons"? I wonder what that could be used for.
A phrase that's a bit off when Donatello says: "would go against reservations against dimensional travel, but a member of said community making a spectacle..." what do you mean by "said community"?
Hmmm...what will Irma devise? LOL
It's going good so far Zarius! I have to admit though I have to slowly read and sometimes re-read the dimensional logic here, but it's not bad or anything. It's just my, sometimes, analytical side of mind trying to work the details. LOL
Looking forward to how Irma & Donatello's public scandal, the three Baxters encounter the Turtles, and how Sagan will be involved in all of this in coalescing together. Who knows...could these 3 Baxters meet up with Shredder and Krang considering how many times they betrayed Baxter? I'm sure Baxter couldn't have forgotten about those two, even though he has a fly brain.
...It would be a great twist on the story Zarius. ;)
| C-T-CT chapter 6 . 4/7/2013
Instead of using "April lamented" (since that's used for more intense, serious grief/sorrow), try: "April replied in a downcast tone".
I don't know if saying "Sagan fellow wasn't much of a keen cookie" because he certainly knew what he was doing, and Irma and Donatello may have sensed an ulterior motive. Maybe try, I don't know...I'm trying to find the words, "Sagan fellow was weird and suspicious, he wanted to bring..." To say Sagan wasn't keen would been that he wasn't very perceptive of what he was doing, but he was...and was just trying to back pedal from Irma's reasoning. Right..? Sorry if I'm not getting it.
Hmm...so Baxter has turned into three forms because of the Psycho-Splinter? A male, female, and small child of himself. LOL...an...interesting twist I must say.
Now what does Sagan have against humanity now? Since he wants to terrorize it. Bigger question, why does Sagan want these multiple sides of a person/Baxter? Why wouldn't just having one Baxter be good enough to terrorize people? ...Intriguing plot development.
| C-T-CT chapter 5 . 4/6/2013
Hmmm... this is interesting in how you have three storylines going on. 1) Irma and Donatello's public fiasco, 2) Cross and Sagan's M.I.M.I.C. invention, and 3) Alien explorer Dzerna meeting up with Baxter. (Will you explain what happened to Baxter and his computer "Z" [which was still in the Technodrome...right?] after the episode of "Revenge Of The Fly"? :) )
I'm interested in the connection (if there's a deeper philosophical meaning) between the MIMIC invention (child-like psychological make up) and accessing Baxter's dimension (with Dzerna saying Baxter is such a child).
Hmmm, good stuff Zarius!
| C-T-CT chapter 4 . 4/6/2013
An interesting concept with M.I.M.I.C. and the philosophical discussion between Sagan and Cross, a debate between the wonderment of childhood and the maturity/growth of adulthood.
Hmmm, I'm a bit curious what this "triangular device" is...
LOL, well I can tell Sagan is somewhat of a misogynist with that speech to the scientists.
I'm probably just dense in not getting the joke but what does "I know farms sell a lot of animals, but not even the funny farm..." mean? LOL, sorry...
I enjoyed how despite Irma's lack of scientific knowledge, she was still able to make some humorously cutting and thought-provoking remarks about what was Sagan's intentions.
With Sagan's and Cross's different, almost conflicting personalities, it's interesting they were even working together in the first place.
Good stuff Zarius!