This is much better in the illustrated version, not only because the drawings are great but because part of the text is missing here.

Just wanted to make a comment about Lily's reaction to the four-on-one melee at the end. I thought she was completely unreasonable, and she was scolding entirely the wrong person, to the point that I asked what's wrong with her? (And I was rather liking her till that point.)

If you are attacked four on one then you'd damn well better be armed to fight them off, and if they get injured it's their own fault. Self-defense is an absolutely basic right, and that includes the right to use as much force as necessary to avoid injury to yourself.

While the original illustrated version of this story was (and still is, archived elsewhere on the Web - readers should do a search on title and author) enchanting, I found this one oddly flat on re-reading... and on tracking down the fondly-remembered original again, discovered that not only does it make an awful lot more sense with the illustrations (e.g. the unicorn licking Severus, explaining the punchline at the start of Ch3) but that vital sections of the story are missing in this version! The nature of Lily's Quidditch solution (end of Chapter 3), the kiss and Marauder attack (end of Chapter 4) and the whole post-Hogwarts section (end of Chapter 5) are all absent, and without the first two of these at least the fic reads coherently enough but overall is weirdly lacking in plot resolution.

So I'm not quite sure what happened here. It might just have survived the absence of art (and I originally assumed it had), but the amputation of the most important bits of the text is a killer...

I loved it

This is wonderful. JockLily is a very fun character to read, and her almost-there love with Severus somehow didn't take the story away from the whimsical approach. It puts the inexcusably stupid prank in some context, and shows another part of why Lily and Snape might have drifted apart. Great story!

Did not know Lily was such a Mary-sue. The cartoons are fine, but really, the content of writing is shitty. No one is in character, none of the ages of the other characters are right, and the Flesch-Kincaid reading ease is that of a third grader. I can’t find any bad reviews…. Probably because all the bad and intelligent ones were taken out, or until today no one with half a brain has come to read it.

Okay, so it's a bit different in the illustrated version, and I have to comment on that almost-kiss! I ALMOST DIED.

It's true. I think my heart stopped for a moment. It was perfect and sweet and adorable and WHY DID THEY HAVE TO GET INTERUPPTED?

Augh.

Alas, the story is almost over. Sadness!

Again, commenting on the illustrated version.

Firstly, Lucius and the pink hair ribbon are killer. As is the look on Snape's face talking about it.

(Funnily enough, Snape's dry humour is very similar to that of your Dryden. I might venture to say that's why I love it so damn much. And yet still, so in character. Makes me wonder if there IS some connection between the fictional characters I adore...)

This is really quite good. I kinda wish I didn't already know that it wouldn't end well - I mean, at least thus far James isn't the total asshat that we know him to be towards our favourite misguided Slytherin, and somehow I thank you for that, because it kinda shattered my illusions learning James was such a jerkweed.

Still, loving the Snape and Lily banter, and sad that I know it must end.

Okay, so I'm reading the version with illustrations, but there's no opportunity to review it there.

(Did I mention that I love your illustrations? Your Dryden/Millerna fic is simply the bestest fun thing I've ever read.)

Firstly, it's been forever since I've read HP fic. And I do love a Marauders-era story.

And I love the facial expressions! And young Snape is just fabulous. I kinda love that character anyway, and him and Lily are my secret favourite ship.

Just loving it. :)

I love it!

I don't have much else to say about it, but I really do love it, and I thought I'd leave a review and tell you. Although I do feel kind of bad because I usually make a point to review each chapter individually, instead of reading the whole thing and then reviewing at the end, but I found the other version with the pictures and then realized that it was on here too, and decided to review on here because I had an account here.

Anyways, it's awesome and I love it!

I know this won't be the first enthusiastic comment and I normally don't take the time to review popular stories...but I just had to tell you that I fell in love with your version of Severus Snape. Your style is beautifully puristic and the characters are so very loveable - intelligent, witty, insecure, real. And your wonderful illustrations fit your stories perfectly.

I really hope that you will one day write more stories like this one or Teacher's pet! I will definitely put you on Author Alert!

PS. I'm sorry if there are mistakes in my review but English is not my mother tongue.

Aw poor sevvy and Lily! But hey, damn good story *applause*

i felt so giggly throughout this whole chapter. i laughed... err, giggled out loud so many times.

and you made Severu- i mean Snape, sound hott.

Just discovered this one... link wasn't working and quite honestly by the end I was unbearably lost... Could you send me the link please?

First, your link from the lizard lounge is broken. I really liked reading your story with the illustrations...

The only thing that really gets me is, even if Lily and Sev were in a relationship, there's no way the Marauders would even have tolerated him following them. My little stickler.

Other than that, I really liked your use of split point-of-view. Sometimes it can get complicated and abused, but I liked yours.

I found your fic oddly enough through some fanart someone had done of it. I read it on your site but had to find it here to send a review your way. I really liked it. It was fun and really great to read. I just loved the way it was done and the illustrations were amusing as well.