|Reviews for The Flight of the Hawke|
| Ravus chapter 1 . 4/7/2013
Yes this would have to be a one shot. I agree about the absurdity, you can understand Bioware trying to dumb down the game for a larger audience, but for me the disconnect between the game and the story was appauling. Once you've played as a mage and thrown around blood magic openly in the streets only to have combat end and have a templar watching boast about how he will capture any mage he sees, well the suspension of disbelief is gone.
I also disliked how no matter what both the circle and the templars leadership ends up corrupted. Then you have to fight them both. It's ridiculous. This ending, that of simply leaving is that much more satisfying then my own playthrough with a female mage.
| RakeeshJ4 chapter 1 . 4/7/2013
Shame this is a one-shot, but after so many months and so many words into DA fanfiction it's certainly understandable! Thanks very much for sharing.
I have to agree with you re: Aveline's characterization. Even as I played the game-I ended up with Carver alive in my first playthrough, too-I was surprised at how brazen and unapologetic Aveline was about not helping out the Hawke family. It's certainly a plausible, human portrayal and there are many (bad) reasons why it would not be surprising Aveline would behave in such a way, and only a few good ones. What took Aveline from 'friend and ally' to 'friend to not put my back to', though, was that in the game, Carver and my Hawke were never anything short of friendly and helpful to Aveline throughout the story and until Aveline made it clear that her attitude towards the Hawkes was...temperamental. It would make more sense if I had taken the nastier or more mocking dialogue options, but I didn't and she still burned the Hawkes. Her attitude towards lawfulness is, shall we say, also problematic. It made it difficult indeed to like the Aveline who ends up in Kirkwall.
Nice to see someone for whom Fenris's constant invective against mages actually registers as it usually would for almost anyone who was part of that group. Rather than considering it a chance to change someone's mind, Hawke is quite annoyed and then angered by Fenris's hatefulness and never comes to understand why his own damage might lead him to be such a schmuck. Unless one is aspiring for sainthood, one usually doesn't try and dig past that sort of eager antagonism.
Leandra, too, doesn't come off well, as is fitting with canon. It's a bit of a mismatch in storytelling, I felt, Leandra's portrayal. I didn't get the feeling that Leandra had behaved as quite such a woeful, entitled...well, schmuck again in the years the Hawkes were more or less successfully living as fugitives, but that's what she becomes very quickly in the game. I got the feeling that it was a happy, productive marriage in Hawke's childhood when I played the game, and had to fill in some blanks when I was playing to explain her behavior: her grief threw her mind and attitude for a serious tilt, it was her first encounter with real, in-your-face danger and it changed her, or a combination of these and the return to Kirkwall made her revert somewhat to type.
Carver...yeah. Carver is actually impossible to like in this story, but I can't complain because again it does fit with a certain lighting on past events. There would be a great deal of natural envy and unhappiness possible given that 3/5 of his family were mages, and would need naturally for the purposes of training and survival to spend a great deal of time together, and exclude whether intended or not the remainder. Which also explains Leandra's favoritism, come to think of it. But to be satisfied as Hawke was sent to the Gallows, after having actually spent time in Kirkwall, is more or less beyond the pale. It was the sort of wickedness that comes naturally to so many people when they are getting what they secretly desire, even if the means is less than noble.
Great job with the Qunari, and Meredith...ugh. I find once more I'm in my old reviewing habit!
Suffice to say I thought you did a good job covering such a sweep of years in this story in relatively (for the timeline) few words. There was also something different about this story that was enjoyable...perhaps I could put it this way: Hawke is just as clever and skillful and powerful as she is in canon in this story, but when it comes to emotions and dealing with people she is much more human than many of the options given to the player. When someone tells her, verbally or not, that she ought to be mutilated and chained forever, well, she's not going to think kindly of that person. When someone sends her and her buddies out to die as fodder and sneers at them for their trouble, that person is unlikely to look kindly on even the more amiable sorts wearing the same uniform. So on and so forth.
Nicely done! People did awful things, but it didn't feel like a bash.
| Chiara Crawford chapter 1 . 4/7/2013
Great one-shot. Your version of Kirkwall makes much more sense than DA2 canon, which, admittedly, is not hard to do. Will you ever write a short sequel to this one? It would be for Hawke to hear about Anders' blowing up of the Chantry and say "good riddance".
Really, you were able to show just why I prefer DAO to DA2. Apart from Varric and possibly Isabella and Merrill, all other characters are less than sympathetic.
| The 17th Immortal chapter 1 . 4/7/2013
Tallis was also specifically a spy, whereas the Arishok's forces were basically regular army. Different specializations. Not to mention that, being nothing BUT soldiers, they wouldn't really know HOW to integrate their new recruits into their forces – attempting to do would probably be considered as trying to go outside of their assigned roles.
They weren't trained for it, it's out of their comfort zone, therefore they're passing the buck.
(That's my own issue with the Qunari – that extreme narrow-mindedness, how they deliberately use the "surety" of the Qun to run away from any and all sense of responsibility. Or as I usually tend to phrase it: the freedom to choose, by definition includes the freedom to make the WRONG choices. The Qunari would rather take that choice away entirely, rather than risk the possibility of a wrong choice, the hypocrites.)
| The Scribbly Knave chapter 1 . 4/7/2013
It was long for a one-shot (because most don't get over 5k words) but I loved it. Very realistic for the mage Hawke. In short - I loved it. Realistic fiction is the best xxx
| JackOfBladesX chapter 1 . 4/5/2013
Wow, that was an interesting one. I can definitely see what you mean though, it is rather odd that mage-Hawke was free to move around Kirkwall. Even if she kept her head down in Act 1...you gotta imagine that MOST people would see Hawke using magic against the Arishok. Simply strange.
Interesting to see her get captured...shame that Carver did jack for her. Nice to see Varric being his typical self. One thing can be said about Varric, and that is that he keeps an eye on his friends (that's for sure).
Regarding your A/Ns: i recall a comic book super heroine (mage) who summons a staff using her blood. She at one point summons it using menstrual blood. A little bit 'Ewww', but i imagine it would be useful in a pinch.
I totally agree with what you said about Aveline...it was kinda a dick move to blackball Carver like that.
Non-Kossith in the Qunari military? Regular military units (like the ones we see in the game) are simply warriors...and Kossith SHOULD theoretically be greater warriors. Even though Sten (DA1) claims that other races are given positions based on their kills, i gotta imagine that even THEY may get blackballed from certain things...after all, who would you mark as a better warrior Fenris or Sten. Sten probably just from his appearance (Fenris all the way though).
| mille libri chapter 1 . 4/2/2013
I've never bought the mage!Hawke plotline - there's simply too much chance of someone turning a pre-Champion Hawke in to the Templars. This strikes me as a far more likely scenario for a mage, and I absolutely believe that Leandra and Carver would consider her good riddance and enjoy their prosperity and wealth without her. And Varric's loyalty and good sense never get old.
| riverdaleswhiteflash chapter 1 . 3/30/2013
I always thought that Mage!Hawke must be keeping a much lower profile than Varric lets on, and that by the time Meredith gets wind of Hawke's abilities, a lot of nobles owe Hawke. That, plus the amount of good Hawke's been doing, leads Meredith to let Hawke loose to do more of it (guided by the threat that she can at any time do exactly what this fanfic depicts.)
With regards to Cullen, Gaider wanted to address that in-game, but didn't have time. He decided that Cullen is just really oblivious. I think it's more likely he just pretends not to see, on account of you saved his freaking life. It becomes more understandable if the DA2 game takes place after a DA:O game with a female Amell Warden, which provides another excuse for him to do her cousin a favor.
As for the magic the Tevinters are taught, they are implied by the "Enigma Of Kirkwall" Codex to be able to summon winds for a ship, or at least that's how I interpret the line "What barrier would a simple sea pose to them?" This is written by a very well educated scholar, so there's no real reason to doubt it. I think they must also be as good as their word with regards to the plague cure, or else they'd be a little nervous working in the Alienage. And if they're capable of all that, why not other practical applications? I think the Alienage shopkeeper is probably exaggerating when he mentions Tevinters teleporting across the street, though.
| Tevinter of our Discontent chapter 1 . 3/29/2013
Oh, this is definitely going into my faves and follows. Hawke (and Merrill and Anders, for that matter) running around Kirkwall with their staves throwing around lashings of magic unmolested-never made sense to me either. And you also noticed about menstruation! I have my own take on that. Glad to see it addressed.
Thank you for a damn good read.
| dragonmactir chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
I have always laughed up my sleeve every time I have mage-Hawke or a party of mages save Cullen's ass in DAII. I mean, how dense can you get? And moreso on those rare occasions when mage-Hawke has been male. I would have to say man in a dress mage; do your duty, occifer. And honestly, male mage-Hawke needs to be a lot less muscular. Robes are an iffy outfit for any man, but I don't need to see Arnold Schwartzenegger in a dress...again.
I do love your take on the situation, a far more honest one than the game developers gave us.
| Phygmalion chapter 1 . 3/28/2013
A very interesting alternate look at mage!Hawke. I think yours makes more sense than the game, which has quite a bit of "suspension of disbelief", insofar as gameplay vs. story segregation. I do wonder what happened when Anders blew up the Chantry in this 'verse - I don't see Carver stepping up either in attacking the mages or in supporting them, and the possessed Meredith would squish him like a bug.
Tallis... I don't think she's an exception, per se, to the Qunari gender prejudice. Rather, she serves as an exceptional mole and cats' paw for Qunari plans in foreign lands. Of course she's trained to fight; she's practically the qunari equivelant of the House of Crows! Even qunari need assassins, and the Ben-Hassrath make for the best.
Your point about menstruation affecting blood magic makes an eerie amount of sense. Along those lines, I'm surprised that we don't hear about the Templars forcing pregnant mages to have an abortion, rather than carry the baby to term. Rhys and Wynne were rather fortunate, in that regard. I suppose even a game with gang-raped monsters and "alternative" relationships has to draw the line somewhere. Bleaugh.
Anyway, great job! Thanks for the birthday present - it's my birthday tomorrow. ;)
| Soxes in Boxes chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
A far, far more plausible set of occurrences than the ones that actually occur in-game for Mage-Hawke. I get that Bioware couldn't exclude the mage-class without alienating a large portion of the DA fan base- but really! The DA2 mage plot was leakier than a volus on ryncol!
Also, as much as I admire Aveline's cussed stubbornness and loyalty to Hawke herself, I too, have always thought it was pretty crappy of her to block Carver's entrance into the City Guard. I mean, honestly! Refusing such an obviously competent warrior was very much akin to shooting herself in the foot to spite her leg, and any halfway competent friend should have seen what a blessing it would've been to that whole family for Carver to have a little something of his own to be proud of. It might've just been enough to get him off his sisters' case for a change!
| Robbie the Phoenix chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
This is a really fascinating take on how things could have (and probably should have) turned out for a mage Hawke in Kirkwall. It also really lowers my opinion of pretty much every character in the game; I believe I've mentioned in the past how I never realised what a bad guard Aveline was until you pointed in out in one of your other stories, and this one served as an eye opener for a few of the other characters as well.
I really like the idea that at the end of it, Hawke decides to just wash her hands of Kirkwall completely and go live in Tevinter instead. And bringing Maevaris (even if it's just mentioning her by name) into it was a nice nod to the comics. It also amuses me that everything I just read is probably the gist of what Varric's written in his own book.
| Magus1108 chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
My, this was a fascinating and fantastic read! I love your take on a female Mage Hawke, and the actual reality she or even a male Mage Hawke would have faced, after becoming wealthy following the Deep Roads expedition.
| Rexiselic chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
Cool story, and I agree with you on the whole period blood thing. Makes sense to me that it could give her power. The blood power of a potential life or something.
And yeah, I think that it is convention to not think about "icky" stuff sometimes. I personally find my biggest concerns about survival have to do with... uh, bathroom stuff. The sorts of necessities we take for granted in our modern lives which simply are not available in that sort of world.