|Reviews for Thoughts from the Guard Tower|
| gdyoung59 chapter 1 . 6/30
yeah rick; don't get katana by michonne playing ass hole games, you'll lose she'll win.
| SlmDiva30 chapter 1 . 3/27
Nice start. Would like to see more.
| cosmickym925 chapter 1 . 2/26/2014
| Lyrium chapter 1 . 8/31/2013
I’m a fan of the Walking Dead and was glad to read this one shot. I think you accurately captured Rick’s moral struggle with the question of whether or not to turn in Michonne and even after he makes the decision and sends her off with Merle, he’s still second guessing himself.
“even Merle hesitated.” – This was telling because Rick started out as a sheriff and the lawful good authority in the group. Now he’s not sure if he’s worse than Merle (by the way Merle is such a tortured and excellent character).
“A familiar voice haunted him, all gusto and taunts."I'm a better man than you, Rick. A better father…" You know I was kind of disappointed that the series didn’t bring Shane up more, I thought he was a great character and his death lacked closure for the entire group. This was a nice reminder that while Shane was leading the group they had been much better off from a certain pov.
This sequence was a bit confusing because “he” turns out to be Carl rather than Rick and Michonne later thanks Carl: "Michonne!" he shouted, rushing forward to meet her. "Welcome back."
The clipped interaction between Rick and Michonne, with both of them knowing that he betrayed her in a manner that would lead to the governor torturing her (and worse), nicely built up tension. I’m not sure if I read romance in this as the story category suggested but that may be because it’s all in Rick’s head.
“illegible brown eyes” The use of illegible just threw me off, I couldn’t really imagine it although I know you meant something akin to inscrutable perhaps.
| Yellowspotlight8 chapter 1 . 8/24/2013
Wow. That was super good and really well written. I was really into the story and loved the tiny details that just brought this more to life like the scenery observations and that end line was some kinda perfect! Very sweet.
| Tale Slayer chapter 1 . 8/3/2013
First off, let me just say that I'm pretty much fandom blind right now. But from reading this, I can tell that you're a decent author.
I'd like to point out that 'Wonder what that's about." needs a question mark.
Maybe it's just me, but I would've liked if all of the main character's thoughts stayed either in quotation marks or without all throughout the story. For example, in the first paragraph, his thoughts are in quotation marks. In the second, they're not. Then in the fifth, they are. Am I making sense here? I'd get why the italicized are in quotes in the 6th paragraph; since the voice is taunting him.
Other than that, I really don't have much to say. You used personification really nicely. You're very descriptive. And overall, I like your style of writing. You made the story very intriguing, and that's coming from someone who is unfamiliar with the fandom. Good luck and keep on writing! :)
| BLKGURLSMUSE chapter 1 . 4/21/2013
I like this. I wish this would have happened this way on the show.
| DjinniFires chapter 1 . 4/12/2013
This scene is vividly and emotionally written. I felt firmly situated in the point-of-view character's emotional and rational perspective. I'm only vaguely aware of this show and don't know the incident this scene relates to, but I get a good sense of the effects the incident has had on the POV character and on Michonne.
I particularly liked these sentences; What Rick sees from afar: "He could just make out their bodies as Glenn twirled her around and hugged her. Wonder what that's about." These paints a good picture of the strange time these people live in: " The old hinges squeaked, and he watched with slight pride as a single stroke of her katana sliced the heads off two oncoming walkers." Great transition from a flurry of action back to the central issue: "In all the commotion, no one asked the right question. When they'd left her alone, he lingered, waiting for the right words." And then all of paragraphs 21 and 22 where Rick tries to sort out his feelings about Michonne and the situation.
You do a lot of experimenting with word usage in this scene, which isn't a bad thing. *Some* of the choices, though, jarred me, made me re-read and so stopped the floor. I'll mention them so you can consider whether a more common wording would be easier or whether *this* reviewer just didn't get it.
Paragraph 1: I don't think "winking" is correct because the definition requires "shutting and opening" quickly while I think he's keeping one eye closed to concentrate on the sight of the rifle.
Paragraph 2: "ransoming her" is more typical wordin than "her ransoming."
Paragraph 8: Usually "...the air that smelled like decaying autumn," i.e., usually decaying is a process and the air contains the smell but is not itself decaying.
Paragraph 12: I think and is needed, i.e., "She clapped him on the shoulder and continued on."
Paragraph 13: probably "pitch black" since pitch by itself doesn't mean black.
Paragraph 15: I think "...awkwardly fussing over..." should include an indication that the action is separate from coming out, i.e., "Carol had come out with Judith and was now fussing..." The next sentence is a run on; replace the comma with a semicolon.
Paragraph 25: The usual word used is "unreadable," which can refer to a mental process (i.e., it could be unreadable because the writing is blurred or because the person trying to read doesn't understand). I think "illegible" would only refer to writing being blurred, etc.; it makes it sound like her eyes are hard to see.
Paragraph 27: This may be my fandom blindness, but I don't have a clue what Michonne is understanding or what Rick is too good for. If it's obvious to those who know context, then just ignore me!
Paragraph 29: Why does Rick now only "bet" on her swordsmanship when previously he just said, "She's great with a sword"?
Anyway, despite all my comments on wording, I really enjoyed this. Your writing has great flair.
| Helena Bogart chapter 1 . 3/31/2013
-Hops aboard this ship-
Ship's ahoy, Captain!
THAT BETTER NOT BE FUCKING IT. KEEP WRITING OR WE MUTINY. O_O
| cecilia.arenasb chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
I really like both Fics and with you write a longer one!
| kendrat199 chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
OOOOH! That last line seemed like a double entendre. If you ever do a story with multiple chapters, let me know (this is my account name, Im just too lazy to log in). I love your writing style and I love that scene where she's just analyzing him. You write Rick so well that I'm pretty sure you're Andrew Lincoln just taking some time to yourself.
| shygirly002 chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
I really enjoyed reading this, but sad that it wasn't longer. - shygirly002