|Reviews for Sinister Thoughts|
| icecatfire chapter 1 . 3/16/2016
so mr. boogie brain washed her/tricked her... i like the idea and it's telling us more than the movie did. movie wise all we know is the kids go from normal to insane in seconds flat! i'm not kidding through out the movie the girl was completely normal then at the very end she snaps for no reason? i don't think so. THIS is why i love your interpretation of the movie. :) and mr. boogie acting nice to trick the kids? LOVED IT. i MAY have only seen the first movie but i can see him/it/whatever doing that, i mean look at the end. when the other kids see him they look scared; but in the videos they went with him fine. doesn't anyone else find that odd?... sorry i'm rambling. *sheepish* anyway i loved this fic.
| kiss316 chapter 1 . 8/21/2015
oooh good little story you got here! i always wondered how on earth mr boogie got ashley (and the other kids before her, like stephanie) to kill her family. you have to wonder if there was some underlying issues in these families before hand for a child to agreento hack up her family. very intense and interesting. great job!
| AutobotGuy710 chapter 1 . 8/21/2015
That is such a creepy little story, but an interesting look into what could have happened with Ashley. Like wow, really great.
| Leah Brooks Mar chapter 1 . 7/22/2015
Hey Mr boogie from Leah brooks phone number
| Leah brooks chapter 1 . 7/16/2015
Mr boogie I love you to mr boogie fromleah brooks mr boogie wanted your phone number
| Vergil1989 the Crossover King chapter 1 . 9/17/2014
Well, that certainly put a new twist to the imaginary friend is really a ghost idea lol. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I had seen enough of the trailers to get the idea that it doesn't have a happy ending, and your explanation was quite elegant and well done I might add. Children are unfortunately easy to fool, especially if they feel abandoned and lonely for whatever reason. Then send them a new friend, and its little wonder she went ax crazy lol. Joking aside, keep up the good work I say.
| GeorgyannWayson chapter 1 . 6/14/2014
Hi there. This the current SOTW in RLt, so I thought I would drop by and see what's up. Hopelessly canon-blind, but it doesn't matter. I shall go on anyways. ONWARD!
There are few stories that I have read where I am immediately put into the main character's shoes and feel as though I can't get out. And you have done that with introducing me to Ashley. Everyone knows that urge to go to the restroom that pulls you from a deep sleep, so I can immediately picture myself in her place. And even when she falls back asleep and starts dreaming, I can feel myself there, too. After reading about this quite frankly odd dream that she had, I kind of looked around just to see if I was really alone LOL.
"The whole thing looked like...art. Not good art, mind you, but art none the less" - I got CHILLS with this line, and I also love how you broke the fourth wall with this sentence. Though, I think 'none the less' is supposed to be 'nonetheless'...but meh, it could be both.
I commend you for the style you wrote this in. I am usually a fan of longer flowing narratives, but in this case, the short and snappy sentences really served to help bring Ashely's character more to life. Children are usually very to the point in their thinking, which this narrative reflects. Everything for Ashely was very simple and obvious, characteristic of child-like thinking, but as an adult, I was sitting here going 'HOLY SMOKES, SHE KILLED HER PARENTS...'
'Mr. Boogie told her so' - Mr. Boogie, you are a very bad man and deserved to be drop kicked. Hard. Many times.
Overall, this was a really creepy and well-written piece. I'm going to have to go find a place to be happy now...thank you and good night. :) Good luck with your future projects!
| Mwac chapter 1 . 6/14/2014
So, I'm just state off the bat that I've never even heard of this movie, but will presume it is a horror movie.
This was tragically, beautifully written. In the mind of a small girl, it's easy to see how you let her mind run with everything she is seeing; dream or other wise.
I loved the aspect of her not being allowed to go into her Daddy's office, as well she really shouldn't have, having let loose Mr. Boogie.
I can for sure say why exactly, but when you ended the second segment with the girl lifting a finger to her lips and whispering 'Shhhhh' it was my favorite part in this whole piece. Not to be cheesy, but it really was sinister.
How incredibly disturbing that this 'Mr. Boogie' was able to convince this small girl to chop off her parents' heads?! How easily he is able to convince her to do these disturbing things makes me shudder.
And how creepy is the thought of Ashley painting pictures in blood?! Probably not too creepy after having just chopped off some heads of course.
Overall, I couldn't find anything wrong in this piece at all, it was creepy, imaginative, and will most likely not let me sleep properly tonight, but it was absolutely amazing.
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 1 . 6/14/2014
Going in fandom blind. :D
"pretty deep" I don't know what attracts me about that phrasing, but I love it. :D You bring the child's perspective in beautifully while adding enough to keep an adult captivated as well: things like the "bladder exploding" that a child might consider only the "exploding" part and the adult the "bladder"; interesting mix there. You've definitely made it work though.
The interplay between dreams and reality is really fascinating as well. At the beginning it's obvious and yet that's not the purpose of the dividers; well done in making that distinction apparent within the flow of the narrative! What I find more entertaining though was how the boundaries become blurred later on (because I love that stuff, content wise :D) And the way the potential gruesomeness of this scene is hidden by the child's narration is simply gorgeous as well.
Honestly can't think of anything to critique; this was a beautiful piece.
| ReadingBlueWolf chapter 1 . 6/13/2014
I like how this opens with a simple bodily response. It’s a great way to set the tone and the mood. Despite how normal it may appear, but you can feel the creepy atmosphere. The clicking sound caught my attention. I liked how Ashley wound up in the laundry room instead of the bathroom. That was cute.
I like that they played Hide and Seek. I’m not familiar with the fandom, but I feel as if that game in particular means a lot more especially since she only views it in greys. I like that to contrast these greys you add the spark of yellow from the rain coat. It immediately draws attention to her because she’s different.
Wow. I’m curious about the man handing her the box. What was in it? And despite him trying not to be creepy, he totally was. The sound is really grabbing my attention. I want to know what it is. Somehow, I wonder if I’ll regret wanting to know.
She woke up from the dream with the box? Whoa. Somehow I don’t think the paint is safe. And I believe the giggling is unsafe as well. Is this girl the one with the yellow rain coat? I always find it creepy when kids don’t talk but motion. I like that element that you’re putting in this.
Okay, so I was a little confused by the ending. I understood where the story was going. The part I struggled with was where Mr. Boogie came in. Maybe because I’m a bit fandom blind I couldn’t connect the dots between the girl and him.
Overall, I love the suspense you put in this. I was worried and nervous and a bit frightened of what was going to go down. I thought you kept suspense going wonderfully. You have a gift for that. I also thought that you did a good job showing Ashley’s character. I really got a feel for what she was like. Lovely job!
| Bloody Rose021 chapter 1 . 6/13/2014
Oh wow. Okay, I'm canon blind here, but this was definitely a fanfiction that caught my attention.
From the summary, I had expected the story to be dark all the way through, and it was in a way, what with the nighttime setting in the beginning and the darkness of Ashley's actions at the end *shudder*. But I wasn't expecting to find something funny in this fic, so that bit of unexpected fun was really nice.
I surprised myself with a little snort of laughter when Ashley wandered into the laundry room and again with the depiction of her bladder exploding. That poor little kid must have REALLY wanted to go to the bathroom.
I'm not sure how you did this, but when Ashley opened the box with the black paint inside, the first thing that ran through my head was something like, 'That black paint is sinister, it's evil, it will taint her. No, don't use it!' I'm still not sure if it was Mr. Boogie that corrupted Ashley, or if it was the black paint that altered her thinking to make it more susceptible to being manipulated. Well, they do say, "Beware of those bring gifts." Mr. Boogie was definitely someone to beware of.
Actually, ahem, I myself thought that maybe Mr. Boogie wasn't so bad at first, as there are spooky people that can end up being nice. Being caught up in Ashley's perspective, I could feel that child-like urge to implicity trust the people who are kind to you. Children do know right from wrong to some degree, some more than others, but they learn that from the people around them.
Considering the fact that Ashley felt fine even after performing such horrific acts, it makes me feel that Ashley has led an extremely sheltered life, especially if the line, "but I can't paint anywhere else in the house" combined with the line, "But when Daddy woke her up in the middle of the night, and they left, Ashley was happy." points to Ashley not usually being allowed out of her room as well as her parents having a very bad, possibly abusive relationship...
Probably the only thing that pulled me out of the story was the third sentence, "Pulling herself from the bed, her body autopilot-ed her to where the bathroom was supposed to be." The word "autopilot-ed" seemed out of place in context to the rest of your description, so it felt a bit jarring for me, especially when I saw the hyphens in front of -ed. I'm not sure what would flow more smoothly in that word's place, but I thought you should know.
All in all, a wonderfully written story with a very creepy ending that, for me, was very unexpected (though there was foreshadowing, I see how you snuck that in with the hanging scene in the movie starting to look like art!) I don't usually read horror, ever. But after reading this piece, I may have to start reading a bit more in this genre...
Thanks for the wonderful story,
| Starluff chapter 1 . 6/13/2014
This one shot isn't scary that I'm quaking in my boots, but it is psychological and disturbing, which I would imagine is what you were going for. I like Ashley's childishness which adds to the disturbing nature of the fic: from how she thought it would be fine to go into the office, or how she was constantly thinking about what her mother taught her but couldn't resist Mr. Boogie, and the game she played with that girl. It was also nice that you took the time to show how Mr. Boogie got inside her head and that she wasn't evil all at once. The dream, the game with the girl, and how Ashley nearly screamed at the hanging scene but found it looked like art, and such. And then, in the end, she was completely lost, and did exactly what Mr. Boogie told her. How was she able to chop off all their heads if she only drugged the father? She's only seven. But that's just me being pedantic. I loved the "shhhhhh" part, I think that was my favorite!
A great fic and a pleasure to read!
| zanganito chapter 1 . 6/11/2014
/Standing in the doorway was Ellison, her daddy, a bat in his hands. / This sentence makes it clear that Ellison is very jumpy/paranoid.
/After the dream yesterday, she found in her hands a small little box; exactly like the one that the man had handed to her. / I liked how you blurred the lines between dream and reality with Ashley dreaming about receiving the box (or of course it’s possible she might have been awake), and then having it later on. The connection between the girl in her dream and the girl in the film also gives her experience a sort of dreamlike quality.
It was creepy and interesting the way Mr. Boogie started influencing Ashley’s mind. First with a gift of black paint. From her reaction, he knew it was something important to her, that she would like, and having it makes her trust him a little more.
Minor typo: /Curiosity peaked / (should be “piqued”)
/ four figures were soon hanging from a tree. […]The whole thing looked like….art./ This part made my stomach turn, how Ashley could see something so horrifying and then be convinced it looked like art. Especially since I knew what was coming next.
/why a book, when he can be in a movie? / I think the creepiest part of this, is how “Mr. Boogie” knows them all so well and uses that knowledge to exploit Ashley into thinking that she’s “creating art” or doing something that will make her father happy. It’s chilling, since she comes across as still very innocent, yet she is slowly manipulated into killing her family, and it all makes perfect sense to her.
Nice work – this was very creepy.
| Ersatz Einstein chapter 1 . 6/7/2014
(I should first note that I'm fandom-blind.)
There were some noticeable grammatical errors ("curiosity peaked," "rain coat," "none the less").
The deliberate fragments underscored the simplicity of Ashley's viewpoint and initial innocence nicely ("that little urge," "nor was it scary really"), although they did get a bit excessive in places ("was so hyper," "said she was so creative").
The ending went by rather fast. I understand that you don't want to dwell on the events of the movie, but after the detailed scene with the girl, some more build-up would've made the plotting a little more even.
The cute detail about the camera ("she didn't want to mess up") made the ending all the more chilling. The last sentence closed it off perfectly.
| StrawberryDuckFeathers chapter 1 . 6/7/2014
. For the Story of the Week archive at the RLt . . Fandom blind .
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I like the eerie introduction. The way Ashley ends up in the laundry room, the clicking and the way her body 'auto-piloted' her gives a creepy sense of things not being as they should be, almost that something else is controlling her. The grey children calling for Ashley to play with them was a horrific image; I imagined some kind of voiceless illusions, like ghosts or something. During my reading, I found the quick flicks between settings- laundry, bathroom, bedroom, playground I assumed- and the flicks between states- deep sleep, dreams and waking- gave the story a chaotic feel. Sometimes I couldn't tell whether she was dreaming or not, and I found that even more frightening and disorientating- in a good way : ) It's great that you've used a childlike narration (Daddy told her...) to get more into the mind of a child as you're reading, as well as to highlight that she's still a kid, and childlike curiosity could easily get her in danger here... The man she sees in the hallway worked well, just like the kids- no sound, just an image and an action. However, I wasn't expecting him to try not to scare her. I'm wondering what was in that box... The way it returns in real life was spooky; it made me question the man's reality, or reality in general in this story. Perhaps what's in her mind is more real than we think...
The sudden shocking image of people hung from a tree was well-executed- unexpected and simply-put, very sinister. Ashley creeped me out so much when she saw death as art. I found the childlike tone was emphasised in the last section of the story, furthering that feel that childish curiosity has gotten Ashley into something irreversible, dangerous and scary. The sudden nature of putting the drug in the coffee shocked me, especially as I assumed drugs and their effects to be something - to an exent- beyond the knowledge of a young girl. The violence and the killing here is always put so bluntly (so she did). It's almost as if she either doesn't know what the effects of her actions are going to be, or...even worse... that she doesn't care. The ending line was very effective; it subtly shows how Ashley has dangerously given all of her trust to this man, and it's clear that she probably won't always be okay... (my assumption, anyway.)
Great work! Well-written in the sense that the childlike narrative and numbing of violence in this story was chilling and terrifying. Excellent work :D